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dealing with regret & toxic relationships Watch

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    just a bit of background: I broke up with my ex boyfriend in january and started talking to someone new from feb until july. i was friends with my ex throughout talking to the new guy and i would get drunk and go back to my ex at parties. we developed a toxic friendship, i felt trapped and felt like i had to do certain things with him to not let him go because i clearly wasn't over him yet when he asked to get back with me a few months later i said no but remained friends with him. i felt so horrible that i wasn't over my ex that in july i rejected the new guy as it didnt feel right to become his girlfriend when his feelings were much stronger than mine.

    a few months later i dont talk to my ex boyfriend at all and i am completely over him. i am now filled with regret thinking about how i could be in a happy relationship with this new guy, and how he really liked me and i treated him so horribly. i have apologised to him multiple times, he has been so lovely to me throughout but it is clear he wants to move on as i have hurt him so much, so i have restricted myself from calling or messaging him.

    what doesnt help is that my best friend and him have suddenly become good friends, and it is upsetting me more than it should. she said she would stop talking to him because she knew it was upset me, but she has continued to do so. im not going to speak to her about it again because there's no point and from all the pain ive caused him i have come to the conclusion that i deserve for something like this to happen.

    im only 17 and i know i have many more years a head of me to find someone as lovely as the other guy, it's just annoying me to think about how toxic my relationship/friendship with my ex was, and how things could be so different now if i had completely cut him out when i should have.

    any advice on dealing with regret after rejecting someone and being in a toxic relationship/friendship ??
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    (Original post by sabrina16)
    just a bit of background: I broke up with my ex boyfriend in january and started talking to someone new from feb until july. i was friends with my ex throughout talking to the new guy and i would get drunk and go back to my ex at parties. we developed a toxic friendship, i felt trapped and felt like i had to do certain things with him to not let him go because i clearly wasn't over him yet when he asked to get back with me a few months later i said no but remained friends with him. i felt so horrible that i wasn't over my ex that in july i rejected the new guy as it didnt feel right to become his girlfriend when his feelings were much stronger than mine.

    a few months later i dont talk to my ex boyfriend at all and i am completely over him. i am now filled with regret thinking about how i could be in a happy relationship with this new guy, and how he really liked me and i treated him so horribly. i have apologised to him multiple times, he has been so lovely to me throughout but it is clear he wants to move on as i have hurt him so much, so i have restricted myself from calling or messaging him.

    what doesnt help is that my best friend and him have suddenly become good friends, and it is upsetting me more than it should. she said she would stop talking to him because she knew it was upset me, but she has continued to do so. im not going to speak to her about it again because there's no point and from all the pain ive caused him i have come to the conclusion that i deserve for something like this to happen.

    im only 17 and i know i have many more years a head of me to find someone as lovely as the other guy, it's just annoying me to think about how toxic my relationship/friendship with my ex was, and how things could be so different now if i had completely cut him out when i should have.

    any advice on dealing with regret after rejecting someone and being in a toxic relationship/friendship ??
    As you say you are only 17, so its a question of learning.

    1. Think about how you treat people.
    2. Its usually wise when ending a relationship to cut all contact for some space.
    3. Once youve apologised theres nothing more to be done, so move on.
    4. Dont overthink and do better next time.
    5. Dont beat yourself up.
    6. Learn from the experience.
    7. Understand you will have many more opportunities to try again.
 
 
 
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