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Trying to make new friends but mainly girlfriends.. Watch

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    (Original post by FriendlyPenguin)
    You can't even bother to write neat paragraphs...

    If you are looking for a girlfriend (why did you use a plural? - that makes it sound much worse!):
    -don't mention anxiety, don't mention insecurity, don't mention mental health, don't mention past friends
    -have something more to talk about than video games and anime (I'm sure there are basement-dwelling weeaboo girls, in fact I know they exist, but even most of them probably have *some* other interests)

    How old are you?
    Just wow. I hope you're a troll. If so it's only YOU that has traits to change.

    First 'advice' was pedantic and moronic.
    Secondly you tell him to not confide in people who he is as a person. Mental health is not a weakness to be hidden, thanks.
    Thirdly who the **** are you to tell people to get different hobbies?

    How old are YOU? Piss off.
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    (Original post by FredLyd)
    Sorry, Im no writer and basic grammer is always a struggle for me.

    I will take on your advice, I have heard that advice before to be honest. My logic being, being completely honest right from the start. But yes I can see that being a bit ****ing weird.
    Also I do have many things to talk about. I think I said they were my main interests. I'm sure I mention quite a few interests, my problem is almost having to many so I tried to keep it to just 1 or 2 (and them being what I mainly do)

    And I'm 24 and I do mention a lot more interests... (Edit)
    Please, please ignore that comment. That person is an absolute idiot.
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    (Original post by lukauu)
    Please, please ignore that comment. That person is an absolute idiot.
    Okay I honestly just hate the conflict anyway, and I have been told that I avoid it constantly. So my logic is to try and reason with said person.
    Thank you
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    (Original post by FredLyd)
    Okay I honestly just hate the conflict anyway, and I have been told that I avoid it constantly. So my logic is to try and reason with said person.
    Thank you
    I know. I mean don't take any of it on board, that's all.

    We're weirdly SO similar until you said you avoid conflict. :P
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    (Original post by lukauu)
    I know. I mean don't take any of it on board, that's all.

    We're weirdly SO similar until you said you avoid conflict. :P
    Okay I won't. I mean I'm not just going to meet people and say I have mental health issues, anxiety and really insecure but yea.

    Hahaha, its because I want to make people happy and normally if you are in a conflict someone is unhappy (Its stupid I know). You will only see me argue if its something I feel VERY strongly about, and even then I'm still reserved.
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    (Original post by FredLyd)
    Okay I won't. I mean I'm not just going to meet people and say I have mental health issues, anxiety and really insecure but yea.

    Hahaha, its because I want to make people happy and normally if you are in a conflict someone is unhappy (Its stupid I know). You will only see me argue if its something I feel VERY strongly about, and even then I'm still reserved.
    Yeah well that's common sense. But tell them early on so they know what they're getting. It's actually a great way to weed out the shallow pricks.
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    (Original post by lukauu)
    Yeah well that's common sense. But tell them early on so they know what they're getting. It's actually a great way to weed out the shallow pricks.
    I like that approach very much. Let me just figure out how to have a conversation with someone first then I will.

    I'm exaggerating slightly, I can handle a bit of small talk, but I can never start a conversation unless I actually have something to say to them e.g. shopkeeper, or at work where I would have to deliver PC's to people. Otherwise its people speaking to me and me responding rather than a conversation...(I hope this makes sense)

    It just takes me a while to get comfortable with someone, but having similar interests means that immediately I have something to talk about with them (though even then It can be daunting).

    I appreciate your advice, you seem very nice.
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      (Original post by FredLyd)
      Im glad to hear it. What are you interests and hobbies?
      Music and languages(Polish and Spanish)
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      (Original post by Blackstarr)
      Music and languages(Polish and Spanish)
      Ahh okay, I would talk about languages but I only know english (And struggle with that). Learnt german at school but don't remember much, but language in general has always interested me. I had a friend who was german and she taught me a few words because I asked her too

      What music do you like? fingers crossed I will recognise it.
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      (Original post by FredLyd)
      I like that approach very much. Let me just figure out how to have a conversation with someone first then I will.

      I'm exaggerating slightly, I can handle a bit of small talk, but I can never start a conversation unless I actually have something to say to them e.g. shopkeeper, or at work where I would have to deliver PC's to people. Otherwise its people speaking to me and me responding rather than a conversation...(I hope this makes sense)

      It just takes me a while to get comfortable with someone, but having similar interests means that immediately I have something to talk about with them (though even then It can be daunting).

      I appreciate your advice, you seem very nice.
      Yes it makes sense bc that's EXACTLY what I'm like. We're spirit animals. I think life experience and not giving a **** will be our antidote lol. A man on this group course I was on (he was an activity leader/worker) asked me about myself, I can't remember exactly what was said but I did mention I was shy (probably not shy but something deeper like introversion) and didn't know what to say most of the time (I'm so quiet for the same reason as you, I need to know what that person is like, trouble is not many people have time for you unless you're loud and interject) and all he said was there's nothing wrong with that, you just think there is in so many words. That's so true, why are we wrong for not being extroverted and socially comfortable? It's not wrong, I think once I realised that I was more comfortable with who I am. We shouldn't try to fit around social convention, when actually a lot of loud socially comfortable people do have positive things to say about people like us. We're reserved and thoughtful about what we say, we listen and adapt. We're just not quick and overtly charismatic. Boohoo. Good luck mate.

      Not to be patronising but I've always liked this quote for this train of thought:
      The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt. Bertrand Russell.
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      (Original post by lukauu)
      Yes it makes sense bc that's EXACTLY what I'm like. We're spirit animals. I think life experience and not giving a **** will be our antidote lol. A man on this group course I was on (he was an activity leader/worker) asked me about myself, I can't remember exactly what was said but I did mention I was shy (probably not shy but something deeper like introversion) and didn't know what to say most of the time (I'm so quiet for the same reason as you, I need to know what that person is like, trouble is not many people have time for you unless you're loud and interject) and all he said was there's nothing wrong with that, you just think there is in so many words. That's so true, why are we wrong for not being extroverted and socially comfortable? It's not wrong, I think once I realised that I was more comfortable with who I am. We shouldn't try to fit around social convention, when actually a lot of loud socially comfortable people do have positive things to say about people like us. We're reserved and thoughtful about what we say, we listen and adapt. We're just not quick and overtly charismatic. Boohoo. Good luck mate.

      Not to be patronising but I've always liked this quote for this train of thought:
      The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt. Bertrand Russell.
      It is definitely a interesting way to look at it. I would agree and say yes I will just accept who I am and see what happens, but I overthink things, doubt everything I think and never come up with a solution. Plus I'm insecure so typically I end up blaming myself for everything.
      But thank you, you do really make some good points that I will think about. Also the quote isnt patronising I dont think. Maybe insulting to anyone who is loud but yea
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      Well, it was a pleasure to meet you all. Hope everything works out for you.
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      (Original post by FredLyd)
      Hi, first time posting on here and incredibly nervous to even be doing this. I honestly am just struggling to find new friends, especially people who are intersted in similar things. I suffer from anxiety a lot, especially around girls, I'm insecure so I always think I'm not good enough anyway and I over think things, also I don't drink so that means I cant just go meet people in a pub, and normally turn down any offers of going to a pub even for a social chat. All these make me just give up on finding anyone. I would go in to my whole mental health issues but as I said to my counsellor, I would have to explain my whole life.
      I had a close friend recently who I can finally share my problems with but she honestly abandoned me. So if anyone is interested in video games and anime let me know. I do have many other interests e.g. art, photography, waking, random facts, films and many other things but video games is my main passion. I hate to do this here because I feel like this is not the most suitable place but I have tried meetup and stuff like that, but It always seems to be people 35+ and I was hoping to meet people my age, and girls really because how can you get a girlfriend if you dont know any girls. And this isnt me looking for a date, honestly looking for some friends that I can rely on, but if something happens naturally then good, if not I have gained a friend so a win/win.


      So if you like playing WoW, overwatch or any game really let me know. Or if you like anime and want to speak to someone else who is socially awkard.
      And I apologise for this, if this is not a suitable place for this.
      Go to a thread called Am I Thay Ugly ?
      I wrote on there yesterday but i was meant to write it to you first but couldnt find your thread when i was looking at it so look at it too as I can't be bothered to write it all again but ill write a little bit here.
      Download an app called Bigo Live
      on playstore. It's a great way to meet new friends or a potential girlfriend. You can also earn money on it.
      Type the name Dan on it where the search button is if you don't see his name on it straight away. His picture is of a wolf mask unless he's changed it back to his own picture. He's a lovely guy. He just plays x box games on it while talking to people. He also loves anime because I asked him about it for you yesterday when I was texting him. You can play games with him. Bigo is great for anyone who is lonely and has no or not many friends but it's also good for people who do have friends but Want to make new one's
      When you see his name click the follow button so that you will get notifications everytime he is broadcasting live on air. There are also other people who play video games on it. Sometimes it says game live so you know their into the same thing as you
      I know most people on tsr are lonely, have no friends or are desperate for a girlfriend /boyfriend or want to earn extra money so Bigo is great for all those things and it's free and takes only 3 minutes to sign up so as soon as you read this sign up and you can talk or text him tonight.
      You can also meet people in your own area on it and when your not on Bigo you can still use tsr so it was a good idea to tell people on tsr about your problems because you found out about Bigo
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      We don’t mind if you’re socially awkward and stuff as long as you a) show an interest in us as human beings and b) don’t come across as a creep. Feel free to message me about anime xx
     
     
     
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