This is a last resort and by no means an attention seeking post , i would just like some advice if anyone else has been in a similar situation to me!
I was in a relationship with a guy for just under one year but we had known each other for just under 2 years though and we had been close friends for the entire 2 years that i knew him.
He was the love of my life , he meant so so so much to me. I honestly can say that the 2 years i knew him were the best 2 years of my life so far i had never been so happy and i for the first time became a social butterfly.
I had , had a rough few years including the death of my best friend suddenly a few years prior to me meeting this guy. I felt like a part of me that had disappeared when my best friend passed had finally come back when i become close to the guy, I had also been struggling with anxiety more specially social anxiety for many years & also poor eating habits.
Sadly due to my depression i ended up not treating him as well as i should have near the end of the relationship... this was due to my undiagnosed depression which had led me to become increasingly irritable & i was rude to one of his friends i just hated what i saw in the mirror. I decided to end the relationship myself hoping that in a few months so i could get myself right and we would be able to work through the issues together as like i said i loved him so much & he also loved me very much i am certain of that.
The trouble sort of begins from there on...
After the break up he just cut me off , refused to talk to me which in a way i could understand as i had been out of order. But part of me also thought he would see beneath the irritable person and see the real genuine kind girl he fell in love with underneath it all. I tried everything to try and get him to talk to him but none of my efforts have worked so far i am heartbroken and it is all my fault.
To cut a long story short , my life has been hell for the past 18 months there is not a day that does not go by that i do not think of the guy and i just feel an extreme guilt over everything that i had done (No super **** stuff like cheating of course though) I know that the behaviours i displayed were not my fault i was in a really bad place , since then i have been diagnosed with Clinical depression & i am currently on 20mg of Fluoxetine & Sleeping pills due to suffering from nightmares but the dose of Flu may need to be increased as its not working too well for me right now. I just miss him so much and wish he would let me apologise to him & we could just at least be friends as what we had was something i will never ever have again. He has me blocked on all social media & despite having the sympathy of his friends no one can persuade him to give me a chance which is soul destroying for me.
I have tried to move on and have had a few short relationships with other guys but i always call them off due to still having strong feelings of regret and guilt towards my ex. I genuinely think i am going to be single for life and i struggle to get out of bed most days , i am a second year Uni student but i just feel like dropping out 2bh especially as we are also at the same Uni and i panic so much that we will bump into each other!
Has anyone out there been in a situation where they cant move on and the guy refuses to talk to them and wont take into account you had mental health problems at the time you messed everything up? How did you get over it? How did you move on? I have also thought the situation could have stressed me out so much i could have PTSD? But from what ive read up on that relationship breakdowns usually do not cause PTSD...
How can i get over a relationship that has lead me to become severely depressed? Watch
- Thread Starter
You seem like your going through a lot over this boy, have you tried going out with friends, thrilling yourself with fun to forget? You could ask God to help to comfort you. Has he had a girlfriend recently? I think you should busy yourself to forget, put yourself into the world, you shouldn't give up your education for a boy who won't even speak to you, show him your doing fine without him. Travel when you can and see how great the world is and see that you don't need a boy to make you happy, I hope we can be friends, I feel like if I met you in person we would attach. I am sorry for the loss of your bff, I too lost mine but in a different way. Just get to know yourself and spend some time alone.
Hope this helps
Sorry to hear you're struggling so much. Have you been referred on for therapy? And in relation to losing your best friend, I'm sorry. I relate to that, I lost one of my best friends a few years ago, it was devastating.
And re: your PTSD question. Criterion A requires you to be in a life threatening and/or severely traumatic situation/s or to witness it happening to a loved one (or to be repeatedly expose to explicit details in the case of social workers and emergency personnel) (it doesn't have to be a man made situation either, can be related to natural disasters), so I don't think that your break up would fit that criteria which would mean you cannot have PTSD. Granted though, I'm not a clinician and I don't know the ins and outs of your relationship. Having said that, you may have traumatic grief (which can be diagnosed under PTSD) for the loss of your best friend.
Having said all that, not having PTSD doesn't invalidate your suffering and you're still worthy of getting help.
Hi,I am starting on fluoxetine, when did it kick in for you?