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    Ok,
    I am 20, studying Business in college.
    I passed first year after repeating 3 exams during the summer, because I did not do the continuous assessment throughout first year, because I didn't want to stay in my course.

    But i decided to go back into second year because I thought 'ok one more year of studying crap I don't enjoy'..
    In my final year I get to specialise in an area of my choice.

    But I have to get through this year, and I hate it. At this point I don't actually have an area I specifically want to specialise in.
    I just know I hate maths, stats, and all forms of accounting.

    I feel like I've to put everything on hold while I'm at college, everyone else says how it's the best years of your life.. I hope not.
    I find myself not going/wanting to go to my lectures, avoiding coursework and assignments..

    There are so many things I want to do but I don't want to get out of bed in the morning, because college is a priority.

    I went out a lot in first year, 2 or 3 times each week, I put my poor grades down to that.
    But this year, I have gone out maybe 5 times since I started (I'm half way through my first semester).. and my attendance is just as bad.. I don't enjoy it in the slightest.
    I'm over it. I don't particularly want to go out and go to clubs, at least not as often as I did..

    I want to get involved with acting, I want to get to play more music, meet other musicians, I want to design and create jewellery, I want to start a company, I want to learn about style and image consultancy, start a youtube channel amongst other things.

    As of now, I'm just not in a good place, I am in the worst mental state I've ever been in.. the unhappiest I have ever been.

    I've no friends, I'm left out of group chats, nights out.. everything, I'm just an old housemate of one of the guys.
    I remember in first year, getting ready to go out and I heard the front door open and close, my housemate said he had to drop over a hoodie or something, he never came back, I went to sleep in my clothes for going out.

    I could ask 'what times our lecture changed to' and not get a response, for other questions like 'what are ye going at for the night' or 'oh what nightclub are you heading to', I usually get told 'oh nothing, I don't think so anyway'.. but they're arranging it in the other group chat I am a part of.

    I'm usually a very pessimistic person, my parents comment on it..
    So for most smaller things, I'm pessimistic.

    But the idea that I might actually get out and do something that makes me happy, that I might actually make something of myself, be it being an actor, starting a company, a musician, all of the above, having friends, meeting a girl, having a family, creating a life.. I'm optimistic.
    If I wasn't I'd probably be dead of my own doing.. because I'm miserable, all I have is hope and a belief that I can change it.

    But I don't know how..
    If i drop out, I've wasted 2 years and a lot of money, I'll be working in a factory or something to that effect.
    I won't be able to just jump into another course, not to mention there aren't any that strike me as something I want to study..

    I got very good grades in school, I go to one of the top colleges in my country (Ireland)..
    Unless I dropped out and took part in a jewellery course, silversmith, went to study fashion, textiles, something of that nature.. started to audition, attend acting classes/groups, busked..
    But I wouldn't be able to afford to live in, I'd have to commute.. which would be an hour or so on the train every day..

    It would have been bad to drop out at the end of first year, but I've also payed tuition for my first semester of second year.. another couple of thousand..

    Do I drop out?
    Do I try to scrape through for the year.. somehow manage to pass my exams?

    What should I do?
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    Have you thought about joining societies that are related to your interests, such as music and acting? You can meet more people and you would feel better for getting to explore your interests?

    In terms of your degree, is there a particular reason why you don't enjoy it? It sounds like it is due to a lack of interest. If you really can't see yourself studying for another 2 years there, you might want to look into other options.
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    (Original post by cheesecakelove)
    Have you thought about joining societies that are related to your interests, such as music and acting? You can meet more people and you would feel better for getting to explore your interests?

    In terms of your degree, is there a particular reason why you don't enjoy it? It sounds like it is due to a lack of interest. If you really can't see yourself studying for another 2 years there, you might want to look into other options.
    I have tried, the music society does really hold much, it's more for people to join committees, but they typically just arrange for bands to play at the balls in college, or just post notifications if there are gigs on in the city.

    Acting society is dead, it's all musical.
    The musical society is the active society.. and while they do put on shows every christmas, I don't really care for musicals, I would love to be involved in productions but I want to do something serious, something that is not a song and dance... so it doesn't suit.

    I don't like my degree for a number of reasons I guess..
    I had the assumption that I would be applying what I've learnt, maybe as part of a group project, maybe writing essays, preforming analysis on fake businesses...
    It actually just consists of continuous assessment every week, usually a set of 10 questions to answer..
    It's basically 'learn this off for the exam at christmas'.. the only reason I stayed was because of a specific lecturer.
    He taught BIS, which I liked. It was about why a business succeeded or failed, what made someone an asset to a company, why one business succeeds and the other fails when they both are so similar, what competitive advantage is, what knowledge work is. How to build a value chain..

    It was useful, I actually wanted to go in and learn because it was the one subject I learnt anything from.
    I don't have any of that this semester.. thankfully I will next semester but it will be more based around project management and the IT side of things..

    So that's why I don't like my course, it just seems like a series of hoops that are overall, pointless.
    But BIS was a redeeming factor last year.
 
 
 
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