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We never made a proper go of things but now she’s with her ex. Watch

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    So I have been on and off with this girl for just over a year now. We got quite serious at the end of last year but we decided to end things before we went back to Uni, which is something we’ve both admitted we regret a lot. Anyway, she started speaking to her ex boyfriend at the beginning of the year, she told me that he wouldn’t leave her alone and it was annoying her. We spent the night together after a party in May and things were okay but she was on the phone to her ex at one point and then hung up when I told her he wasn’t worth it. I woke up in the middle of the night to get some water and her phone was blowing up with messages from him so I knew something was going on. The next day I spoke to my friends about it, we’re in a really tight friend group so they all know this girl and they said that her ex has a really strong power over her because that’s her first love and that if he is back in her life in anyway she’s going to be extremely confused. We didn’t speak again and not even two weeks later they were officially back together. The thing is they broke up three years ago because he kept cheating on her. she came to Liverpool to see me and some of our mutual mates. I took her to mine after we had a few drinks and she confessed he’s already cheated on her twice and she wants out of the relationship but feels trapped because both their families are involved in the relationship and her parents love him so much. I told her to tell her parents about what was going on but she said she can’t because she doesn’t want people thinking he’s a bad person? We kissed and she said she wished it was still us and I told her I did too. I called her a few days later to see what she was doing and she said that she was going to try again with him because when things are good, they’re really good. She said she wanted to delete me off of social media because she wants me to move on and be as happy as she is. It’s been months now and I can’t move on, all my thoughts are about her. So, I guess what I’m asking is, do you think we will ever get together? have any of you ever been in a similar situation? I’m sorry for how long and incoherent this is, it’s a lot to try and articulate.
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    It sounds like she's set being with this guy. Love is blind as they say. She can't see he's nasty and no good for her. I would try and move on. Distance yourself, try and get mingling with other people. You can't focus on her when she's adamant to be with this guy. When she realises it herself, then go back to her.
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    (Original post by DrawTheLine)
    It sounds like she's set being with this guy. Love is blind as they say. She can't see he's nasty and no good for her. I would try and move on. Distance yourself, try and get mingling with other people. You can't focus on her when she's adamant to be with this guy. When she realises it herself, then go back to her.
    I’m just worried that I’ve lost her for good. I would love nothing more than for us to make a proper go of things but I can’t lie, her getting back with him in such a sketchy way has made me trust her a little less. I’ve spoken to a few girls on a night out but it just doesn’t feel right, I just spend the entire time wishing it was her.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So I have been on and off with this girl for just over a year now. We got quite serious at the end of last year but we decided to end things before we went back to Uni, which is something we’ve both admitted we regret a lot. Anyway, she started speaking to her ex boyfriend at the beginning of the year, she told me that he wouldn’t leave her alone and it was annoying her. We spent the night together after a party in May and things were okay but she was on the phone to her ex at one point and then hung up when I told her he wasn’t worth it. I woke up in the middle of the night to get some water and her phone was blowing up with messages from him so I knew something was going on. The next day I spoke to my friends about it, we’re in a really tight friend group so they all know this girl and they said that her ex has a really strong power over her because that’s her first love and that if he is back in her life in anyway she’s going to be extremely confused. We didn’t speak again and not even two weeks later they were officially back together. The thing is they broke up three years ago because he kept cheating on her. she came to Liverpool to see me and some of our mutual mates. I took her to mine after we had a few drinks and she confessed he’s already cheated on her twice and she wants out of the relationship but feels trapped because both their families are involved in the relationship and her parents love him so much. I told her to tell her parents about what was going on but she said she can’t because she doesn’t want people thinking he’s a bad person? We kissed and she said she wished it was still us and I told her I did too. I called her a few days later to see what she was doing and she said that she was going to try again with him because when things are good, they’re really good. She said she wanted to delete me off of social media because she wants me to move on and be as happy as she is. It’s been months now and I can’t move on, all my thoughts are about her. So, I guess what I’m asking is, do you think we will ever get together? have any of you ever been in a similar situation? I’m sorry for how long and incoherent this is, it’s a lot to try and articulate.
    What an awful situation. Try and move on, that’s all you can really do at this point.
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    Sadly, I don't think the two of you will be together. If the girl really wanted to be with you, she would make an effort to be with you and get rid of her ex, no matter what the complicated factors in her life was. Try to cut off contact for the moment and move on.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I’m just worried that I’ve lost her for good. I would love nothing more than for us to make a proper go of things but I can’t lie, her getting back with him in such a sketchy way has made me trust her a little less. I’ve spoken to a few girls on a night out but it just doesn’t feel right, I just spend the entire time wishing it was her.
    It's going to take time. You'll get there one day
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    As cheesy as it sounds if you're meant to be you will be together eventually it might not be tomorrow, this month or even next year but what's meant to be will be. But for now, try and put her to the back of your mind, join some societies, meet new people and just have a good time. One day she will realise that this boy is not good for her but until then there is nothing you can do about it, she needs to realise on her own terms.
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    (Original post by kayleighisonfire)
    As cheesy as it sounds if you're meant to be you will be together eventually it might not be tomorrow, this month or even next year but what's meant to be will be. But for now, try and put her to the back of your mind, join some societies, meet new people and just have a good time. One day she will realise that this boy is not good for her but until then there is nothing you can do about it, she needs to realise on her own terms.
    AGREED.
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