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Hit with depression and anxiety-Help

I seriously feel depressed like never before and the worst thing is i have no one to talk to about this. (19, female)

I have no friends and never actually had any proper friends in my life. I sometimes feel like i do not have the will to live anymore.

I feel like everything around me is crumbling down. My mum suffers from schizophrenia. I can no longer have meaningful conversations with her as she talks 'off' if you know what i mean.

My dad is trying to support us(my mum and 2 sisters +me) however even he is struggling. I can see that things are no longer the way they used to be in every aspect.

Right now i am working so my family can get enough money to extend our visa but the struggle is real.

I had an ok childhiood i suppose, but now as i am growing older, i am faced with more life difficulties. I hate the fact that we have to grow up and face the harsh reality of life

I just wish my life was normal. I wish i had friends and someone who would love me for being me.

I hate the fact that i have social anxiety, hence find it hard to build relationships with people i meet.

Most of the people i know, i do not talk with them properly. I only know them on a 'hi' to 'bye' basis.

Even at my work place, same old, same old. I want to have deep conversations with people not just a 'hi, how are you' and that's it thing.

I wish i could fulfill my dreams and aspirations in life but i feel like i have a long way to go. I feel like my dreams and aspirations to be a nurse and a musician one day are far fetched. I used to have keyboard lessons years ago but because of financial problems i had to stop. Now i know nothing about playing the keyboard as all the knowledge has gone out the window. I have to scratch from scratch now.

I do not know what to write anymore because i feel drained and find it hard to put my thoughts into words right now.

I do not know what to expect out of this, just wanted to share this if anybody cared

Reply 1

livana

You're not alone! I've been suffering with the exact same struggles recently, I have very few friends and struggle to hold long, in depth conversations... I think it's due to my social anxiety as well as my anxiety surrounding my body. Growing up is tough and although i'm slightly younger than you (17 turning 18) I understand exactly what you mean. My mum is disabled so I have to help her often, I can't imagine how you feel regarding your mum's situation. I really hope this message helps you and I know it might not help you to feel better but I hope you know that you're not the only one feeling this way because I am too. Good luck with your visa :smile: