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I don't know if I want to date this girl... Watch

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    This might be a kind of confusing story, maybe not. I'm not really cut out for relationships but that's not to say I'm not constantly thinking about dating. Yes I guess I'm desperate. I'm one of those people that seem to get turned down by anyone, however I'm not clingy. At this point I would rather someone to come up to me and ask me out but that hasn't happened before. I'm shy and never seem to be able to find the words to hold a conversation with anyone except...

    There is a girl I've started talking to recently and she's so nice but so complicated (that's definitely not a bad thing). She's just great. We talk so much over text. In a month i use to send about 50 to 200 texts. Now it averages to about 2,500. I just can't get over her. I do know her in person. We find it hard to talk to each other in school. We don't talk like we do over text.

    I can't get over her I've tried. I don't want to date her because we are in a Rock Band at school and if we broke up, the band could split up. I really don't want that. One of the other guys in the band was into her but didn't go out with her for the same reason so i feel as I'd be betraying him and the rest of the band if I did. She is always complimenting me which is something I'm really not use to and I compliment her too but it gets really confusing. (for me anyway)

    She is shy sometimes and doesn't seem like the person who would date anyone but she dated this guy online. I'm form Australia (she is too) and this guy was from America. She is still obsessed with this guy but they broke up last year. I guess he is sick of her. She has told me that she messages him everyday. She admits that she is clingy but I don't care. She is always talking about how great he use to be and how he changed. It makes me sad. She is just so kind to me.

    She always apologises in advance for hitting on me. She says she is very "flirty" and dose not mean to do it and that she flirts with everyone. Then she says "Just ignore me if I do" So She doesn't like me. She blames it on her break up with the guy I mentioned earlier.

    I'll do anything to spend some time with her. I'm texting her now and just offered to give her guitar lessons. I feel like I'm going insane. I want to be with her but I don't want to mess things up. I don't want to ask her out because that would make things awkward.

    I just want some advice.

    Should I talk to her about it?
    What should I say?
    Would dating her be a good idea?

    (Sorry for any spelling mistakes)
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    (Original post by KyleHD)
    This might be a kind of confusing story, maybe not. I'm not really cut out for relationships but that's not to say I'm not constantly thinking about dating. Yes I guess I'm desperate. I'm one of those people that seem to get turned down by anyone, however I'm not clingy. At this point I would rather someone to come up to me and ask me out but that hasn't happened before. I'm shy and never seem to be able to find the words to hold a conversation with anyone except...

    There is a girl I've started talking to recently and she's so nice but so complicated (that's definitely not a bad thing). She's just great. We talk so much over text. In a month i use to send about 50 to 200 texts. Now it averages to about 2,500. I just can't get over her. I do know her in person. We find it hard to talk to each other in school. We don't talk like we do over text.

    I can't get over her I've tried. I don't want to date her because we are in a Rock Band at school and if we broke up, the band could split up. I really don't want that. One of the other guys in the band was into her but didn't go out with her for the same reason so i feel as I'd be betraying him and the rest of the band if I did. She is always complimenting me which is something I'm really not use to and I compliment her too but it gets really confusing. (for me anyway)

    She is shy sometimes and doesn't seem like the person who would date anyone but she dated this guy online. I'm form Australia (she is too) and this guy was from America. She is still obsessed with this guy but they broke up last year. I guess he is sick of her. She has told me that she messages him everyday. She admits that she is clingy but I don't care. She is always talking about how great he use to be and how he changed. It makes me sad. She is just so kind to me.

    She always apologises in advance for hitting on me. She says she is very "flirty" and dose not mean to do it and that she flirts with everyone. Then she says "Just ignore me if I do" So She doesn't like me. She blames it on her break up with the guy I mentioned earlier.

    I'll do anything to spend some time with her. I'm texting her now and just offered to give her guitar lessons. I feel like I'm going insane. I want to be with her but I don't want to mess things up. I don't want to ask her out because that would make things awkward.

    I just want some advice.

    Should I talk to her about it?
    What should I say?
    Would dating her be a good idea?

    (Sorry for any spelling mistakes)
    Maybe you just need to come clean and talk to her about it, if you are really close then it won't be awkward afterwards. There's a chance that she likes you back but might not want to date because of the same reasons. Don't ask her out but do tell her your feelings, it will clear your mind and she might suggest giving it a shot or agree with you, then at least you're both on the same page with this situation.
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    For the record this is the biggest problem with technology, trying to find the truth through screens... just imagine if you were in a relationship, and you still don't have the right conditions to speak to her in person, then what is the point of the relationship? It would be sure to end subtly and rather disappointingly... and I completely understand how difficult it is to speak to someone who isn't in the same friends group as you, that's the main reason you'd talk primarily over text actually.

    Some day that has to change. You need to understand that since you've built such a bond over text, talking in person might just be the best thing you've done in your life. The difference between text and in person is that you can see each other's emotions and reactions for real, not hidden behind a screen. That's how you'll know for sure if she likes you that way, and I can guarantee you that she feels something for you, as corny as it sounds every reaction has an equal and opposite. There is a reason you feel that way about her, and the bond you guys have made is guaranteed to have had an effect on her as well.

    You just have to break the cycle. Personally, I recommend setting up like a coffee date or something, or if you know her friends just swoop up and say hello. The key to having the best possible relationship with someone is first establishing an actual friendship, and to do that, you have to act as normal with her and her friends as you do with your friends. Everything else will fall into place, and good luck. If you can't make the most of any given moment, you don't deserve a single extra second... and I used a whole year trying to build my character, when I was ready I realized it was Year 13 and that we only have so little time left, and just like that someone else who liked her made the move before me. Don't make my mistake.
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    (Original post by Rollersteaam)
    For the record this is the biggest problem with technology, trying to find the truth through screens... just imagine if you were in a relationship, and you still don't have the right conditions to speak to her in person, then what is the point of the relationship? It would be sure to end subtly and rather disappointingly... and I completely understand how difficult it is to speak to someone who isn't in the same friends group as you, that's the main reason you'd talk primarily over text actually.

    Some day that has to change. You need to understand that since you've built such a bond over text, talking in person might just be the best thing you've done in your life. The difference between text and in person is that you can see each other's emotions and reactions for real, not hidden behind a screen. That's how you'll know for sure if she likes you that way, and I can guarantee you that she feels something for you, as corny as it sounds every reaction has an equal and opposite. There is a reason you feel that way about her, and the bond you guys have made is guaranteed to have had an effect on her as well.

    You just have to break the cycle. Personally, I recommend setting up like a coffee date or something, or if you know her friends just swoop up and say hello. The key to having the best possible relationship with someone is first establishing an actual friendship, and to do that, you have to act as normal with her and her friends as you do with your friends. Everything else will fall into place, and good luck. If you can't make the most of any given moment, you don't deserve a single extra second... and I used a whole year trying to build my character, when I was ready I realized it was Year 13 and that we only have so little time left, and just like that someone else who liked her made the move before me. Don't make my mistake.
    Thankyou so much, We do talk in person a lot but I understand what you mean. Thankyou for replying and I am definitely taking your advice. You've helped a lot. You've made me look at this a different way.
 
 
 
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