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What should you do when you're nervous to talk to a girl? Watch

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    (Original post by RockyDennis)
    Alcohol doesn't help in this way for me tbh. Only Molly does. On Molly I can chat anyone up lmao, probably celebrity models, it's a weird experience.

    I think I'm going to have to do this by desensitization. Get over the initially impossible seeming hurdle and then do it 100000 times in a row the same exact thing.

    Are there any techniques I can use to psyche myself up so I can do it the first time? I just freeze up completely. Any lifehacks to force yourself to do scary ****?
    Then you should have a go with ''Autogenic training'' which works on your respiration and regulation of your heart rate. Unless you are suffering from an important heart disease or from psychotic disorders , there are no contraindications and it is worth trying. Bio-feedback is also another relaxation technique with a good level of effectiveness.
    I would suggest you also to subscribe or join some theatre or comedy classes (if you like comedy).. This might improve your communication skills, and your ability to interact with different scenarios and different people, building-up your level of confidence and self-esteem. As a result of that, you should be less shy and more bold or daring.

    Remember, at the end of the day, we won't be judged from how we look ,but from how we are good in taking, interacting or socialising with others.

    Keep it going , you can break through !

    Good luck
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    Damn this is all serious. You're a really goodlooking guy too man.

    I slightly relate since I'm an ex fatty who sort of trained himself not to speak with girls. Thankfully they generally talk to me but it's horrible that feeling of not being in control of your love life compared with guys who grew up normal.
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    Just do it
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    (Original post by RockyDennis)
    I think I'm going to have to do this by desensitization. Get over the initially impossible seeming hurdle and then do it 100000 times in a row the same exact thing.

    Are there any techniques I can use to psyche myself up so I can do it the first time? I just freeze up completely. Any lifehacks to force yourself to do scary ****?
    The part in bold is the key. I used to almost CRAP myself when bowling up to chat up a girl when I first started it, but like anything, the more you do it, it just becomes second nature.

    As for getting started, don't think about it and just do it. The more you think about it, the more you scare yourself, so best to try not to. Always have an opener and that'll get the ball rolling - I used to always go for "Excuse me girls - sorry to butt in but my mates were talking about football, so I got bored and wandered off. Do you mind if I chat to you girls for a bit?". Must have used the line well over 100 times and I think maybe about 10 times I got a flat-out "no. go away." :lol:
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    (Original post by Ling91)
    Then you should have a go with ''Autogenic training'' which works on your respiration and regulation of your heart rate. Unless you are suffering from important heart disease or from psychotic disorders , there are no contraindications and it is worth trying. Bio-feedback is also another relaxation technique with a good level of effectiveness.
    I would suggest you also to subscribe or join some theatre or comedy classes (if you like comedy).. This might improve your communication skills, and your ability to interact with different scenarios and different people, building-up your level of confidence and self-esteem. As a result of that, you should less shy and more bold or daring.

    Remember, at the end of the day, we won't be judged from how we look ,but from how we are good in taking, interacting or socialing with others.

    Keep it going , you can break through !

    Good luck with Molly
    I haven't heard of those techniques before, I will look into them. Could be just what I'm looking for... I get in the "fight or flight" state and my brain constantly chooses flight. Or stands there awkwardly feeling terrible for about 5 minutes until saying something in a state of terror.

    Ultimately I have zero confidence it's as simple to sum up as that.

    Hopefully that can come from practice and not just from drug abuse lmfao.

    I will use these techniques.
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    (Original post by RockyDennis)
    I haven't heard of those techniques before, I will look into them. Could be just what I'm looking for... I get in the "fight or flight" state and my brain constantly chooses flight. Or stands there awkwardly feeling terrible for about 5 minutes until saying something in a state of terror.

    Ultimately I have zero confidence it's as simple to sum up as that.

    Hopefully that can come from practice and not just from drug abuse lmfao.

    I will use these techniques.
    For 'Autogenic training' follow the link below: http://www.goodmedicine.org.uk/goodk...ning-session-1

    Don't know what you actually mean by saying that your mind switches from a state of 'fight' into a state of 'flight'.
    If you are constantly daydreaming, but you are conscious of this, then try 'Mindfulness.' It's a real good and useful practice.' It will help you drifting from your negative thoughts and your fears, bringing your attention to the present reality instead, e.g to your breath, and the sorroundings, etc..)
    See link below:
    https://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/stress...ndfulness.aspx
    https://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/docs/MindfulBreathing.pdf

    For further informations upon 'Mindfulness' visit the following page:

    https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mindfulness

    Drug abuse and alcohol are the worst things ever if you have a problem. Definitely not reliable in long term. The same will be for sugar. Just poison for you mind and body.



    And finally.. You can't expect to gain confidence just in a day; it's a gradual process which needs to be norturing day by day ..
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    (Original post by RockyDennis)
    How can you make yourself go talk to someone you think looks nice?

    A lot of my nights out I see a girl I like, try to psyche myself up to go say hello and then some other guy talks to her instead. Then my night is ruined and I lose all energy.

    I've never in my life been able to just walk up to someone and be like hey you look nice what's your name, or whatever.

    My mate's girlfriend sometimes talks to them for me and they say to her I should go chat to them, but I feel too nervous and just stay where I am.
    Fake it until you make it. Confidence is key.

    Starting point is to say to yourself 'well I only gain something IF I talk to her'. Have an opening line ready, even if its one you practice and use on everyone - nothing makes a worse first impression than going over and stammering and being unsure of yourself. Would you want to talk to someone who comes over and goes 'Hello, er...hi? Yeah I saw that you er looked...from over there, er oh I like your dress'. Be prepared to just go over and say hello, have a few conversation topics in mind. You might get a facetious response, depends on the person, but if you play it off then you'll be off to a good start - if they say something that makes you want to freeze up and you honestly can't think of a response then just ignore it and keep going with what you had planned to say.

    The confidence to do it is kind of in your hands. Are you standing there saying 'oh she's so pretty why would she want to talk to me' blah blah blah or are you thinking 'yeah, she's pretty - she'll love to talk to someone like me because I'm awesome'. Obviously those are the polar ends of the scale but they outline the point, and the latter is what you want. If you feel like you're worth their time then they'll notice and talk to you back. Same goes for anyone you interact with (friends etc). Just don't be scared of getting rejected. It'll happen. Go find another girl to talk to that you like. This isn't three years into the marriage. You're approaching them based purely on what they look like so what does getting rejected really matter?
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    Drink more and relax
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    Should probably get better at talking to girls in normal settings first. club is a bit of an annoying place to have a conversation with all the loud music. Unless you're in the smoking area.

    And also don't expect anything to happen. If you go in with the assumption that nothings going to happen and you'l just chat for a bit and go your seperate way then you're not going to be dissapointed or scared lol. They don't owe you anything, you should be enjoying yourself without worrying about getting numbers off girls anyway imo.
 
 
 
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