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considering marrying him - Muslims help Watch

    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    I know that relationships before marriage are haram. I've never been in a relationship before, but still had guys screw me over.
    I'm a practicing Muslim and I always try and do good but my point is there is a guy at school who I think is giving me signs
    I think I like him, and maybe he might like me. Idk. and I'm trying to get rid of these feelings. I want to focus on work but it's just so distracting and I don't wanna go anywhere near zina. I literally came so close to it once.
    We get on well and like talking to each other, and we both once discussed marriage etc
    I also prayed and idk if this was me, but I had a serious dream. I tried doing istikarah too and In My dream, my parents said he's decent, and good. He was there too.

    So now I'm so confused. I don't want these feelings and to lose focus on my career but at the same time I like him.
    At the same time, I also don't want to commit zina as I know I'll just sin.

    This isn't a troll, I need advice
    Muslims please help me. What do you suggest?
    • #2
    #2

    Why not just get married then? Speak to him about marriage and then you can contact your respective parents to take it further? You say you're in school but then mention a career... How old are you both?
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Why not just get married then? Speak to him about marriage and then you can contact your respective parents to take it further? You say you're in school but then mention a career... How old are you both?
    I'm not sure if he feels the same way, but I may ask him later on in the year. We're both 18.
    • #3
    #3

    I'd make sure that you know about him and his background well and that your parents are okay with it all and think about how it would affect your studying. Idk your age but if I were you i'd think is this necessary right now? If you seriously don't want to commit Zina in any form or sin i'd stay away altogether because attraction stems from Zina. I hope this helps
    • #4
    #4

    Give him your wali’s numba and let things go from there
    • #3
    #3

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm not sure if he feels the same way, but I may ask him later on in the year. We're both 18.
    If I was 18 I would wait and wouldn't rush at all
    • #5
    #5

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'd make sure that you know about him and his background well and that your parents are okay with it all and think about how it would affect your studying. Idk your age but if I were you i'd think is this necessary right now? If you seriously don't want to commit Zina in any form or sin i'd stay away altogether because attraction stems from Zina. I hope this helps
    But muslims can't masturbate so if you can't have sex outside marriage and you cant pleasure yourself then getting married is kinda the only option and at 18 their hormones must be going crazy. Honestly I don't know how muslims go into their 20's without sex or masturbating... I think those that say they dont masturbate are just lying tbh.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'd make sure that you know about him and his background well and that your parents are okay with it all and think about how it would affect your studying. Idk your age but if I were you i'd think is this necessary right now? If you seriously don't want to commit Zina in any form or sin i'd stay away altogether because attraction stems from Zina. I hope this helps
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    If I was 18 I would wait and wouldn't rush at all
    Thank you so much for the advice it's really helped and I'm starting to consider it from all angles. Definitely if he's meant to be mine, he will be. I'll just focus on work and wait
    • #6
    #6

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    But muslims can't masturbate so if you can't have sex outside marriage and you cant pleasure yourself then getting married is kinda the only option and at 18 their hormones must be going crazy. Honestly I don't know how muslims go into their 20's without sex or masturbating... I think those that say they dont masturbate are just lying tbh.
    That’s not true for all. I’m a girl, haven’t done any of those you mentioned and I’m in my 20’s. I’ve never even felt the need to do so, I’m happy Alhamdulillah. It’s possible.
    • #3
    #3

    [QUOTE=Anonymous;74421264]But muslims can't masturbate so if you can't have sex outside marriage and you cant pleasure yourself then getting married is kinda the only option and at 18 their hormones must be going crazy. Honestly I don't know how muslims go into their 20's without sex or masturbating... I think those that say they dont masturbate are just lying tbh.[/]
    DEAD 😂😂😂 The Muslims who aren't that pious may do so lol but not all of us are like that though
    • #3
    #3

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thank you so much for the advice it's really helped and I'm starting to consider it from all angles. Definitely if he's meant to be mine, he will be. I'll just focus on work and wait
    Exactly it's naseeb at the end of the day and it's Shaytaan doing his work quietly in the background trying to turn your mind and if you start off with Zina in the first place then there might not be much barakat in what you do. Yeah and if Allah wills then it will happen you just have to wait Loads of people rush into things like this without giving it much consideration.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    You my mahram are wrong there. I don't do that, and Subhanallah I'm still standing.
    And fyi, my hormones aren't running wild. Marriage is a beautiful thing, that being said I want to spend it with that person Allah wills.

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    But muslims can't masturbate so if you can't have sex outside marriage and you cant pleasure yourself then getting married is kinda the only option and at 18 their hormones must be going crazy. Honestly I don't know how muslims go into their 20's without sex or masturbating... I think those that say they dont masturbate are just lying tbh.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Thank you and yeah i agree with you, I won't think of it too much
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Exactly it's naseeb at the end of the day and it's Shaytaan doing his work quietly in the background trying to turn your mind and if you start off with Zina in the first place then there might not be much barakat in what you do. Yeah and if Allah wills then it will happen you just have to wait Loads of people rush into things like this without giving it much consideration.
    • #3
    #3

    It's fine, I feel like love can make you blind and obscure everything else, you'll see that nothing is and will be wrong until something is.
    • #7
    #7

    18 is so young, you don't even have your life together

    I think people should have known eachother for a long time 4/5minimum, have a job
    Be able to provide for themselves, afford a home
    What you going to do if you get pregnant? Spend your student loan on nappies?
    Or ask your parents? a part time job won't cut it, babies are expensive
    • #7
    #7

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    But muslims can't masturbate so if you can't have sex outside marriage and you cant pleasure yourself then getting married is kinda the only option and at 18 their hormones must be going crazy. Honestly I don't know how muslims go into their 20's without sex or masturbating... I think those that say they dont masturbate are just lying tbh.
    Silly to get married for some pussy. What an absurd comment
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Silly to get married for some pussy. What an absurd comment
    Not really...it seems to be the only lawful way (in islam) to satisfy very strong human desires?
    • #7
    #7

    (Original post by Paisley99)
    Not really...it seems to be the only lawful way (in islam) to satisfy very strong human desires?
    Looool get married, have sex and realise your partners a minger🤢
    • #5
    #5

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Looool get married, have sex and realise your partners a minger🤢
    Or you have to spend the first few months of the relationship tutoring him on how to **** you properly. Then he might just be terrible at sex and cums in 30 seconds etc. Whole host of potential problems with marrying someone before you'd been intimate with them for a while.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Or you have to spend the first few months of the relationship tutoring him on how to **** you properly. Then he might just be terrible at sex and cums in 30 seconds etc. Whole host of potential problems with marrying someone before you'd been intimate with them for a while.
    Tmi on the thread and that stuff may not bother most people
 
 
 
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