The Student Room Group

Almost 15 with hardly any privacy.

I'll be 15 in a few weeks and I hardly have any privacy... I have to share a bedroom with my mum because we only have 2 bedrooms in our house and I can't exactly share with my 10 year old brother because now we're getting older.

I really dislike sharing with my mum, I thought a bedroom was the one place you can escape from everyone and everything, but no. I can barely do anything in there without her questioning it. I'm writing in my diary, she wants to know what I'm writing it's really annoying!

My dad is constantly nagging me 24/7 about my future, and my career, I understand he's only caring for me and looking out for me but I feel like I should create my own journey rather than him telling me how my life should be.

My brother is an annoying constantly making fun of me to the point where he is beginning to disrespect me. He's 10 and he treats me like I'm a fool and when he needs something he's nice to me. He makes out like a s1ut who constantly goes out and sees different boys just because a couple of guys have texted me once asking me when is the homework due. I've never dated, haven't had my first kiss yet, haven't even held hands with a boy. Some of the things he says about me is so disgusting I wouldn't even want to repeat it. People outside have more respect for me than he does; every time I tell my parents they don't believe me. Then he decides to follow me around the house whenever he can.

The only time I ever get privacy is when I use the bathroom and even then I have to rush because someone always needs it whenever I do. Or very late at night when I'm tired myself.

I didn't really care about it before, I don't know why I feel this way about it now. I just feel angry and upset and annoyed about it and I've got to admit I have been rather moody lately because of it. My parents think I'm acting like a spoiled brat but all I really want is time to myself. My mum even called me a b!tch because she says I'm being horrible which is probably true, but I just can't take it anymore! Any advice?
Reply 1
Hi

I read your post with interest. The situation you are in very difficult to manage. These are my thoughts:-

1. Younger Brother - no quick fix I'm afraid, he will be in this phase until he grows up which could be a long time. Problem with boys now is that many are exposed to porn and all kinds of other crap at a young age and can lack respect for girls. Also, boyish "banter" he will be faced with at school he is bringing home and then re-enacting with you. When he says the things to you about being a slut etc he probably doesn't know what he is even saying, he doesn't really understand it. If it's any consolation, I suspect your dad will know same that your brother is being an idiot but is just ignoring it for now to keep the peace. In time it will get better, a few years time he will value having you in his life as his sister that's for sure!

2. your personal space issue - crumbs not easier to sort either, your only option is to level with your mum and say, look mum I know I can be difficult but I find it really hard to manage with us all sharing the same personal space which makes me angry at times. I'm nearly 15 and sometimes need space just to myself. And say, I know you care and interested in my life but I can't even fill in my diary without you being a helicopter parent and asking me what I'm doing, I just need a bit more privacy in my life. You can also mention how much your brother disrespects you and say you haven't had a boyfriend so it's all boy crap he picks up at school - she will totally get that!
I'm sure she will realise the problem once you point it out. I can't see how it can change quickly because of your family living situation but respect for each ones space is important and that could be worked on by all for mutual benefit.

I guess on a more positive note, another year of school and it's college or sixth form, work hard and you can get into university and have your own student accommodation, so in a few years you will have your own space. So keep working at the study and in time it will work out for you.

In the meantime, you need that conversation with your mum.

Finally, you have a great future ahead of you so it's not a long term issue that will never get fixed, it will get better!

good luck, good times ahead :smile:

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