I feel like I don't know who I am at all, I'm always trying new things and get upset and frustrated when I can't do those things. I'm someone different with everyone I'm not my own person. I sometimes feel like I'm looking in at life like I'm standing in the background watching it all go on in front of me. I have views on life which people find 'werid, cry every time I have to go work as I feel work die and that's not the life I want for myself however I don't know what life I want for myself. I change my mind in a matter of hours, there is no choice I have made that I am 100% sure it was the correct choice. I feel empty when alone and resort to self harm but do it in ways where I can lie and say I hurt myself accidentally. I feel like I don't have a purpose in life when I'm alone I need people round me as a distraction but only very few people I like around me I tend to distance myself from others apart from a couple of family members and my partner. I find it difficult to trust and I make reckless decisions such as drinking, self harming, cutting my hair cut+colour, reckless spending etc. My mood is happy sometimes but it always changes so suddenly. When I'm alone I will write poems when I look back at them in a day or so I'm shocked that I felt those feelings and wrote stuff that dark it's like it was a different person. Something isn't right could anyone help me with a insight to what these feelings could indicate. I'm so embarrassed and ashamed of these feelings
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- Thread Starter
- 05-11-2017 19:43
- 05-11-2017 19:48
Hi there, I'm really sorry to hear that things are so tough at the moment.
Some of what you wrote sounds quite worrying and difficult, so I hope that you can find a way through it.
I would strongly suggest that you visit your GP and arrange an appointment to voice everything you said here, even if it's by writing it down and handing them the paper. You seem to be struggling a lot and it's not fair to go through this with no support, especially when it could all be a lot easier just be letting somebody know so that they can help you.
You can always private message me if you'd like any advice or help!