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    • #1
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    #1

    Hi,

    Just after some advice really, and a bit of a rant. My housemate is a nightmare and his girlfriend isn't much easier to deal with. I could fill an essay with everything we have to deal with, but it might be easier to say he clearly has narcissistic personality disorder - I 100% recognise the behaviours as that. Can't move out due to money issues.

    One of the many things I struggle with, is the incessant negativity, constant complaining about everyone and everything, playing the victim, constant self-agrandisement, compulsive lying and manipulations. How the hell do you deal with this kind of person? I sometimes walk around with headphones in just to block it all out and not end up in a crappy mood having to listen to it. I need some perspective - Is that rude/anti-social, or something that anyone would do?

    How do you deal with someone opening the front door at 8pm, for no discernable reason, and letting our cat out on bonfire night, despite us clearly and politely asking them not to let him out. Hence we spent the whole night worried about her, and constantly checking the doors.. And received some bs excuse about needing to check the bin or something.

    Like I said I could fill an essay with this stuff, but please any advice about what you have done/would do?
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    I'd stop faux diagnosing them with mental illnesses, for a start, however much of a pain they are
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    yeah I do agree with this - I just don't think it helps you, you need to be firm with him as a group and set standards

    also, it's not a big thing to walk around with headphones in my experience.

    (Original post by bones-mccoy)
    I'd stop faux diagnosing them with mental illnesses, for a start, however much of a pain they are
    • #2
    #2

    (Original post by bones-mccoy)
    I'd stop faux diagnosing them with mental illnesses, for a start, however much of a pain they are
    I'm not sure what 'faux diagnosing' actually means, but I have experience of a family member with this illness, and I would not attempt to 'diagnose' somebody unless I was certain.
    • #2
    #2

    (Original post by doodle_333)
    yeah I do agree with this - I just don't think it helps you, you need to be firm with him as a group and set standards

    also, it's not a big thing to walk around with headphones in my experience.
    It's useful to know headphones aren't such a rude thing to do. I have tried again and again to set basic boundaries, he lives his life to **** all over other peoples boundaries, hence my huge frustrations..
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm not sure what 'faux diagnosing' actually means, but I have experience of a family member with this illness, and I would not attempt to 'diagnose' somebody unless I was certain.
    That may be so, but each individual with a specific mental illness presents differently so unless you're a psychiatrist or someone qualified to diagnose, it's best to stay clear
    • #3
    #3

    Honestly just keep wearing your headphones, who cares if it is rude/anti social, he is clearly a rude person from what you described so I wouldn't worry about offending him as he clearly doesn't care about not being rude.

    Just because you live together doesn't make you obligated to spend time with him so be as anti social as you like. Just live your separate lives as much as you can. Having said that try to be civil with him and don't have a huge argument because at the end of the day you live together and you don't want your home to be a hostile environment. You will need to communicate about household stuff like bills, cleaning etc so it is best if you are at least on polite speaking terms.

    I also have a flat mate who I have grown to dislike. I just avoid her as much as I can. If I hear her in the kitchen I wait till she is gone before going in to get food. Sad that I feel the need to do this but I have sensed tension brewing between us lately and I don't know how much longer I can keep my mouth shut. I feel the best way to avoid conflict is to see her as little as possible. We used to get along fine but she had been acting real rude lately so I don't see her as a potential friend anymore, merely someone I share a kitchen with.
 
 
 
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