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Poppy's A-Level Madness Watch

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    Oh my word what a strange few months I have had and continue to have.
    I cannot fully explain what has been going on in my head, but what can we say, I have made a mess of a few things and made my life tremendously difficult. But you live and learn I suppose! Details to come...

    :flower2:Welcome!:flower2:
    Welcome to my A-Level madness, I hope you enjoy your stay.


    Let's give you a little background information:
    • My name is Poppy and I think I'm a bit of a weirdo. No really, can somebody please explain myself to me? Thanks.
    • I'm 16 and my Birthday is the 2nd of December (save the date :grin:)
    • I live in a town you've probably never heard of in Wiltshire, England.
    • I stress too much about too little, and pay for it.
    • I have worked my socks off my entire school career, and got awesome GCSEs as a result.
    • I have way to many books that I want to read, but that doesn't stop me adding more to my endless 'to read' pile. The defining moment in my life was when I realised that if you read all day, everyday for the rest of your life, you wouldn't even touch the surface of knowledge out there. Sad, but intriguing!
    • I live for music and play the piano, sing and kinda play guitar, though would love to play basically every instrument under the sun (mainly electric jazz guitar, saxophone and cello. Oh to be a multi-instrumentalist :love:)
    • Let's just say my music tastes are rather broad, ranging from anything jazzy/funky, to indie rock, to the classical world of my man Claude Debussy. Some of my favourites at the moment are Glass Animals, Will Heard, Frank Ocean and Arctic Monkeys, though there is always a place in my heart reserved for the Beatles, Queen, Billy Joel and the likes.
    • Last year I completed the TenTors 45 mile challenge, which was the most difficult but rewarding thing I have ever done. Huge respect to anybody who has done TenTors or similar; you don't fully understand until you've experienced it yourself, and let's just say you have to be a little insane to willingly put yourself through that... That's me; a little insane :banana2:


    My GCSE Grades:
    Spoiler:
    Show




    A total of 13 A*s:
    Film Studies (Year 9)
    Core Science (Year 10)
    Additional Science
    Further Additional Science
    Maths ~ 8
    Further Maths
    English Language ~ 8
    English Literature ~ 9
    Geography
    French
    DT Resistant Materials
    Computing
    Music




    The strange thing about me is that despite my great school grades and glowing reports, I am never satisfied. I can always do better, or am never good enough. Despite constant reassurance that 'I will be absolutely fine', I never believe it and constantly doubt myself. This has actually had a sever impact on my confidence, and now I'm struggling to support myself. Wooo!

    So what am I up to now? I'm studying A-Levels in Physics, Maths, Geography and Product Design. How did I get here and why am I doing these subjects? Well well well, that is rather a long story that I shall save for another day.

    Oo ah I'm a bit of a mess, but that's all part of the fun I suppose. Let's explore this wonderful thing called life together and navigate its precarious path. Onwards and upwards!:nyan::nyan::nyan:
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    Mad gcses!!! 13A*s :O
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    Congrats on the GCSE results! It's nice to see another musical person here. I'm doing a GYG blog on my first year at Royal College of Music if you're interested.

    Do you have an idea of what you want to study at uni?
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    (Original post by ChocCheesecake)
    Congrats on the GCSE results! It's nice to see another musical person here. I'm doing a GYG blog on my first year at Royal College of Music if you're interested.

    Do you have an idea of what you want to study at uni?
    Thank you! I'll have a look

    I was thinking about engineering degrees, because I'm interested in technology, the environment and (brace yourself for cliche) changing the world. I guess I notice things about the world that others maybe don't, or not as much. However at the moment I'm really not too sure! I'm really interested in sustainability, and just yesterday I discovered a subject called futurology which looks interesting. I'm in an awkward situation where I enjoy many things, so finding something just right is going to be difficult...

    It's so difficult to think about the future when you're trying to do your best in the present! Worrying about the past, present and future all at the same time is not doing me much good I have to say :')

    How did you know you wanted to study music? What do you play?
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    (Original post by lolz23489)
    Mad gcses!!! 13A*s :O
    Thanks! Says the person who got 4 As at A-Level :') What subjects did you study?
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    (Original post by PoppyElizAJ)
    Thanks! Says the person who got 4 As at A-Level :' What subjects did you study?
    How dis you know i got 4As haha and yh i did bio chem Maths and epq
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    (Original post by lolz23489)
    How dis you know i got 4As haha and yh i did bio chem Maths and epq
    didn't you get an A* in maths?
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    (Original post by _gcx)
    didn't you get an A* in maths?
    It got remarked to 181 ums across c3 and c4 but only offical until i get my certificate from aqa lol
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    :dontknow: What on Earth is Happening? :dontknow:

    Hello hello! :hello:

    So basically, the thing is it is the 2nd week of the 2nd term of A-Level, and only now am I starting to settle in.

    I changed schools. Bad decision. What followed was a term of perpetual worry, stressing out my mum and throwing my feelings to anybody who would listen, which as it turns out, is quite a few people! In a time when I should have been fully focused on nailing my academic work, I was struggling to find my feet in a whole new environment. This combined with a series of class changes, course swaps, realisation of te step up from GCSE and biting off way more than I could chew = stressed out Poppy unable to make sense of her brain. Now throw back to last year, when I was biting off way more than I could chew but in an environment where I was established, understood, fully functional and able to juggle all of these commitments, I was feeling pretty down.

    When I say pretty down, that may be an understatement.

    I was a mess. I cried pretty much everyday and hated myself for it. I felt I was in a downwards spiral, getting further behind and decreasing in confidence with every passing moment. I wholly believed that I was wasting my existence and was second guessing everything I was doing. In my state of self-doubt and stress I was isolating myself from social interactions, not feeling worthy or capable to promote my normally positive and (I would hope) interesting personality. Therefore in the first term of bonding, making friends and establishment, I felt worlds behind everybody else. Yes, there were some good experiences, but these are shadowed by the overwhelming sense of failure, not being understood and loss of control.

    Flashback to half term:
    I left school on the last day having convinced myself that next term would be better. That I would knuckle down, force myself into social situations and would generally feel more confident in myself. However, the damage had been done. My mum couldn't take seeing me in the state I was in, just wanting to do what is best for me to be happy. After a week of mulling around, trying to pick up the scattered pieces of reality and who I am as a person, and somewhat hiding from the inevitability of school starting again, something had to change.

    I was struggling over some maths homework on the Sunday before school, when my dad walks in and suggests we go downstairs and talk. Uh oh. Together with my mum, we agree that the following day we would walk down to my previous school and ask to be re-admitted. They had already enquired and figured out that it would be feasible, and were waiting for confirmation before discussing with me.

    So, sure enough Monday morning came and down we went.

    The look of surprise on my teachers and friends' faces when I walked in mimicked what I was feeling inside. I couldn't believe what I was doing. I am such a failure. What am I doing? What am I walking away from? Worry worry worry, and so the spiral continued. Endless people asked why and I struggled for an answer. "I didn't fit in" "It wasn't for me" "I wasn't ready for a change" are all feeble examples I gave. In reality, I had lost my sense of perspective and control, and hoped that being somewhere I was comfortable would bring that right back around.

    The situation now:
    I'm back at my old school, amongst my old friends and teachers and in familiar ground. I am worlds behind in classwork, but with teachers' support, I will make my way through it. It's impossible to tell if I have made the right decision, but the important thing is that the decision is made. The key thing I have learnt is that overthinking gets me nowhere, and sometimes you need to take a step back to but your situation back into perspective. Do you really need to be worrying about finding the perfect uni course from the start of year 12? Probably not. I'm learning to focus on the present, and then hopefully the rest will follow. :crossedf:

    I'd like to iterate that this is only my experience, so if you are considering moving schools please don't be put off. Our situations are no doubt very different, and other circumstances affected my outcome. I know many people who have moved schools and are having the time of their life!

    Right. Now I need to do some DT work. Peace out and go be you
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    (Original post by lolz23489)
    How dis you know i got 4As haha and yh i did bio chem Maths and epq
    I checked out your profile ahaha. Amazing, well done! What did you do your EPQ on?
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    (Original post by PoppyElizAJ)
    I checked out your profile ahaha. Amazing, well done! What did you do your EPQ on?
    Oohh lol forgot i put them there, I did it on Dementia and technoogical advances to to improve it!
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    (Original post by lolz23489)
    Oohh lol forgot i put them there, I did it on Dementia and technoogical advances to to improve it!
    Ooooo sounds interesting!
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    (Original post by PoppyElizAJ)
    Thank you! I'll have a look

    I was thinking about engineering degrees, because I'm interested in technology, the environment and (brace yourself for cliche) changing the world. I guess I notice things about the world that others maybe don't, or not as much. However at the moment I'm really not too sure! I'm really interested in sustainability, and just yesterday I discovered a subject called futurology which looks interesting. I'm in an awkward situation where I enjoy many things, so finding something just right is going to be difficult...

    It's so difficult to think about the future when you're trying to do your best in the present! Worrying about the past, present and future all at the same time is not doing me much good I have to say :')

    How did you know you wanted to study music? What do you play?
    I play piano but I’m studying composition. I’ve just always loved music and tbh it’s the only subject I really excel at. I did think about studying maths for awhile but the only unis I was interested in had entry requirements of A*A*A and I knew that I’d be super stressed out for all of Year 13 trying to get those grades and there was a very good change I wouldn’t get A*A*A.
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    (Original post by PoppyElizAJ)
    :dontknow:What on Earth is Happening?:dontknow:

    Hello hello! :hello:

    So basically, the thing is it is the 2nd week of the 2nd term of A-Level, and only now am I starting to settle in.

    I changed schools. Bad decision. What followed was a term of perpetual worry, stressing out my mum and throwing my feelings to anybody who would listen, which as it turns out, is quite a few people! In a time when I should have been fully focused on nailing my academic work, I was struggling to find my feet in a whole new environment. This combined with a series of class changes, course swaps, realisation of te step up from GCSE and biting off way more than I could chew = stressed out Poppy unable to make sense of her brain. Now throw back to last year, when I was biting off way more than I could chew but in an environment where I was established, understood, fully functional and able to juggle all of these commitments, I was feeling pretty down.

    When I say pretty down, that may be an understatement.

    I was a mess. I cried pretty much everyday and hated myself for it. I felt I was in a downwards spiral, getting further behind and decreasing in confidence with every passing moment. I wholly believed that I was wasting my existence and was second guessing everything I was doing. In my state of self-doubt and stress I was isolating myself from social interactions, not feeling worthy or capable to promote my normally positive and (I would hope) interesting personality. Therefore in the first term of bonding, making friends and establishment, I felt worlds behind everybody else. Yes, there were some good experiences, but these are shadowed by the overwhelming sense of failure, not being understood and loss of control.

    Flashback to half term:
    I left school on the last day having convinced myself that next term would be better. That I would knuckle down, force myself into social situations and would generally feel more confident in myself. However, the damage had been done. My mum couldn't take seeing me in the state I was in, just wanting to do what is best for me to be happy. After a week of mulling around, trying to pick up the scattered pieces of reality and who I am as a person, and somewhat hiding from the inevitability of school starting again, something had to change.

    I was struggling over some maths homework on the Sunday before school, when my dad walks in and suggests we go downstairs and talk. Uh oh. Together with my mum, we agree that the following day we would walk down to my previous school and ask to be re-admitted. They had already enquired and figured out that it would be feasible, and were waiting for confirmation before discussing with me.

    So, sure enough Monday morning came and down we went.

    The look of surprise on my teachers and friends' faces when I walked in mimicked what I was feeling inside. I couldn't believe what I was doing. I am such a failure. What am I doing? What am I walking away from? Worry worry worry, and so the spiral continued. Endless people asked why and I struggled for an answer. "I didn't fit in" "It wasn't for me" "I wasn't ready for a change" are all feeble examples I gave. In reality, I had lost my sense of perspective and control, and hoped that being somewhere I was comfortable would bring that right back around.

    The situation now:
    I'm back at my old school, amongst my old friends and teachers and in familiar ground. I am worlds behind in classwork, but with teachers' support, I will make my way through it. It's impossible to tell if I have made the right decision, but the important thing is that the decision is made. The key thing I have learnt is that overthinking gets me nowhere, and sometimes you need to take a step back to but your situation back into perspective. Do you really need to be worrying about finding the perfect uni course from the start of year 12? Probably not. I'm learning to focus on the present, and then hopefully the rest will follow. :crossedf:

    I'd like to iterate that this is only my experience, so if you are considering moving schools please don't be put off. Our situations are no doubt very different, and other circumstances affected my outcome. I know many people who have moved schools and are having the time of their life!

    Right. Now I need to do some DT work. Peace out and go be you
    I’m so glad that you’re back at you’re old school; you definitely made the right decision! It’s all too easy to get trapped in a downward spiral. In case you were thinking this about yourself I just wanna say that moving back too you’re old school doesn’t mean you’re weak or a failure, it means you’re extremely sensible. By the sound of it, nothing good was gonna come from that school and as you said in your post, it’s alot easier to bite off more than you can chew in an familiar environment.

    Good luck with the second term!
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    (Original post by ChocCheesecake)
    I play piano but I’m studying composition. I’ve just always loved music and tbh it’s the only subject I really excel at. I did think about studying maths for awhile but the only unis I was interested in had entry requirements of A*A*A and I knew that I’d be super stressed out for all of Year 13 trying to get those grades and there was a very good change I wouldn’t get A*A*A.
    That's awesome. I did some composition for my music GCSE; it was an interesting experience I have to say. My music teacher was so amazing. He told me "It's only coursework, your mental health is much more important" and I admire him. He was always so keen to help, and I felt grounded with and around music. It lifts you out of this world and into another plane of existence, however brief. I can see why you chose to study it!
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    13A*s. Clearly you are motivated. Do you have any idea what you want to pursue in engineering? What field are you mainly interested in and what unis would you consider applying to? And good luck
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    (Original post by y.u.mad.bro?)
    13A*s. Clearly you are motivated. Do you have any idea what you want to pursue in engineering? What field are you mainly interested in and what unis would you consider applying to? And good luck
    To be honest I'm really not sure anymore. I'm struggling with the present too much to think about the future at the moment.. I'm afraid I might be ruining my chances and I can't seem to find that motivation anymore ahh!
    I care about the environment and am interested in sustainability, but am not sure where that could take me. I'm quite a philosophical person so a combined course could be interesting. I don't want to narrow my field down so specifically that I can't do anything else, because there are many aspects of design, technology and engineering that interest me.
    I hate having to think about my entire life at the age of 16, although I suppose I don't really. It's not a matter of life or death so I should relax a bit more... Hmm..

    Oh my, sorry for answering a simple question with such a bombardment of thoughts :')
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    (Original post by PoppyElizAJ)
    To be honest I'm really not sure anymore. I'm struggling with the present too much to think about the future at the moment.. I'm afraid I might be ruining my chances and I can't seem to find that motivation anymore ahh!
    I care about the environment and am interested in sustainability, but am not sure where that could take me. I'm quite a philosophical person so a combined course could be interesting. I don't want to narrow my field down so specifically that I can't do anything else, because there are many aspects of design, technology and engineering that interest me.
    I hate having to think about my entire life at the age of 16, although I suppose I don't really. It's not a matter of life or death so I should relax a bit more... Hmm..

    Oh my, sorry for answering a simple question with such a bombardment of thoughts :')
    Seems like you are confused haha. Don't worry, this was me last year and I was just struggling but if you keep your goals in mind, you should be fine
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    (Original post by y.u.mad.bro?)
    Seems like you are confused haha. Don't worry, this was me last year and I was just struggling but if you keep your goals in mind, you should be fine
    Yeah you could say that :') What are you doing/thinking of doing?
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    Does this town in Wiltshire have a brewery? If so, then I may have heard of it. Or it could be near where Sting and Trudie Styler live- hope their tantric sex does not put you off.
 
 
 
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Updated: November 9, 2017
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