BrianMcEgg
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I don’t seem to click with my flatmates anymore but my coursemates... definitely not the type of people I see hanging around with long term. I’m going to societies soon but I’m frightened that me being so reserved and quiet will cost me again like it has for a long time. Is there anything I’m doing wrong, I’m not a party animal but I’m not a nerd, I like to go out and get drunk etc, also worth noting I’m not the kind of guy that constantly goes for one night stands, in fact I think it’s kinda wrong it happens so often(especially since a girl is a **** for doing it so often but a guy is just known as a “player”). I have a few “Twitter friends”, most of them want to meet me at some point but that’s no excuse for making friends at uni. If anyone here is a Bournemouth uni fresher though, then hmu
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BirdIsWord
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(Original post by BrianMcEgg)
I don’t seem to click with my flatmates anymore but my coursemates... definitely not the type of people I see hanging around with long term. I’m going to societies soon but I’m frightened that me being so reserved and quiet will cost me again like it has for a long time. Is there anything I’m doing wrong, I’m not a party animal but I’m not a nerd, I like to go out and get drunk etc, also worth noting I’m not the kind of guy that constantly goes for one night stands, in fact I think it’s kinda wrong it happens so often(especially since a girl is a **** for doing it so often but a guy is just known as a “player”). I have a few “Twitter friends”, most of them want to meet me at some point but that’s no excuse for making friends at uni. If anyone here is a Bournemouth uni fresher though, then hmu
Describe what each of your flatmates are like and why you think you dont gel with them
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BrianMcEgg
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(Original post by BirdIsWord)
Describe what each of your flatmates are like and why you think you dont gel with them
They’re all very different to me, one of them is neither shy or confident, who seems to have completely gone off me recently when I was talking to them the most at the start and the remaining two are very confident people that I struggled to bond with initially and still do now. I don’t think I gel with them as they don’t seem intent in getting to know me, and after just saying hi when they see me in the morning they don’t say anything, and they also knock on each other’s doors a lot for a chat quite often, they haven’t knocked on my door once
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BrianMcEgg
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Halp pls
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oksafebye
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You say that they don't knock on your door or say anything to you, but it doesn't seem like you say anything to them either, if you wanna make friends, you kinda have to talk to people.If I was one of the confident flat mates and there was one person who always talked to me and another who didn't, then its obvious who I would want to talk to or hang out with. Nobody would really want to knock on the door of someone they don't know.
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oksafebye
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If you want to make friends then just talk to people that you see often, it isn't as hard as people make it out to be. Most people expect people to line up to talk to them and make friends, and then moan when this doesnt happen. Even if you don't like some of the people, it's better to know someone than no-one
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BrianMcEgg
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(Original post by oksafebye)
If you want to make friends then just talk to people that you see often, it isn't as hard as people make it out to be. Most people expect people to line up to talk to them and make friends, and then moan when this doesnt happen. Even if you don't like some of the people, it's better to know someone than no-one
But difference is that they were doing it from the start, it doesn’t bother me about my flatmates too much anyway. Obvs I don’t expect people to form a queue but it’s about going into the situation where I encounter someone and can have a conversation, that’s all I wish to do personally
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oksafebye
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(Original post by BrianMcEgg)
But difference is that they were doing it from the start, it doesn’t bother me about my flatmates too much anyway. Obvs I don’t expect people to form a queue but it’s about going into the situation where I encounter someone and can have a conversation, that’s all I wish to do personally
If you’re by someone a lot in a lecture or at lunch or something or you just see them a lot and recognise their face (i’m not at uni yet so idk what examples to give) then just talk to them, introduce yourself, for example be like “hey i’ve seen you lots around here what do you study” or whatever you talk about at uni, then just talk about random stuff, if someone gives you dirty looks when you’re trying to be friendly then they probably aren’t worth making friends with anyway
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DCFCfan4eva
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agreed with others above. if you want friends you have to be proactive.

think you mentioned it but get stuck into societies. most people are nice so I'm sure you'll be fine!

I'm quite a reserved guy naturally but I've been/am in 3 society committees, played varsity sports, involved in a big church filled with student and j play and coach cricket at a local club.

I just went for it and I ended up making lifelong friends. I'm not a natural extrovert or anything but I put myself in positions where I had to talk to people- I was president of Christian Union so was meeting new people constantly and I was proactive in making and Keeping up conversation and now I find it quite naturally to go up and talk to people I don't know which j definitely would have before.

so take some risks, be proactive and don't be alarmed if you don't hit it off straight away (friendship takes time) it if they don't seem that jnt (it's probably not personal some people are just too busy for more friends)

joining societies is the best way to make friends as you already have a common interest and so automatically have a conversation starter
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qasim-96
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(Original post by BrianMcEgg)
I don’t seem to click with my flatmates anymore but my coursemates... definitely not the type of people I see hanging around with long term. I’m going to societies soon but I’m frightened that me being so reserved and quiet will cost me again like it has for a long time. Is there anything I’m doing wrong, I’m not a party animal but I’m not a nerd, I like to go out and get drunk etc, also worth noting I’m not the kind of guy that constantly goes for one night stands, in fact I think it’s kinda wrong it happens so often(especially since a girl is a **** for doing it so often but a guy is just known as a “player”). I have a few “Twitter friends”, most of them want to meet me at some point but that’s no excuse for making friends at uni. If anyone here is a Bournemouth uni fresher though, then hmu
You go to the same uni as me 😂
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BrianMcEgg
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(Original post by Kevin Hodge)
You go to the same uni as me 😂
Are you a fresher too?
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qasim-96
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(Original post by BrianMcEgg)
Are you a fresher too?
Yep
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BrianMcEgg
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(Original post by Kevin Hodge)
Yep
What course you doing?
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qasim-96
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(Original post by BrianMcEgg)
What course you doing?
Computing, you?
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BrianMcEgg
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(Original post by Kevin Hodge)
Computing, you?
Accounting and finance
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CollegeCGI
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Also, just as a thought, join some of the clubs that the University offers, its a great way to meet like minded people, and you can choose how pro active you are from there if you click with the new crew, and if not, try another club
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BU Students
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(Original post by BrianMcEgg)
I don’t seem to click with my flatmates anymore but my coursemates... definitely not the type of people I see hanging around with long term. I’m going to societies soon but I’m frightened that me being so reserved and quiet will cost me again like it has for a long time. Is there anything I’m doing wrong, I’m not a party animal but I’m not a nerd, I like to go out and get drunk etc, also worth noting I’m not the kind of guy that constantly goes for one night stands, in fact I think it’s kinda wrong it happens so often(especially since a girl is a **** for doing it so often but a guy is just known as a “player”). I have a few “Twitter friends”, most of them want to meet me at some point but that’s no excuse for making friends at uni. If anyone here is a Bournemouth uni fresher though, then hmu
Hi, Im a current student at BU and remember my First year at uni very well and the difficulties I sometimes had meeting and making new friends, especially as I lived at home and had to put even more effort into going out and socialising.


I know my reply might be a little late to the conversation but my biggest tip is to try and get involved with some things that the student union runs that pick your interest. Even if you still don't get on with your flatmates, hopefully you can find some like minded people in a society or group. Likewise, I had friends that were in the same position as you, and they seemed to make really good friends with people on the course they studied.


I hope this helps you out a little, have you managed to get on with your course mates a bit more?

Let me know if you have any other questions,
-Dom K
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BrianMcEgg
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(Original post by BU Students)
Hi, Im a current student at BU and remember my First year at uni very well and the difficulties I sometimes had meeting and making new friends, especially as I lived at home and had to put even more effort into going out and socialising.


I know my reply might be a little late to the conversation but my biggest tip is to try and get involved with some things that the student union runs that pick your interest. Even if you still don't get on with your flatmates, hopefully you can find some like minded people in a society or group. Likewise, I had friends that were in the same position as you, and they seemed to make really good friends with people on the course they studied.


I hope this helps you out a little, have you managed to get on with your course mates a bit more?

Let me know if you have any other questions,
-Dom K
No I fell out with them completely lol, was deffo for the best as I’ve been generally feeling a lot better ever since then. I’m assuming those student union events are posted on the Facebook group(s)?
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BU Students
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(Original post by BrianMcEgg)
I don’t seem to click with my flatmates anymore but my coursemates... definitely not the type of people I see hanging around with long term. I’m going to societies soon but I’m frightened that me being so reserved and quiet will cost me again like it has for a long time. Is there anything I’m doing wrong, I’m not a party animal but I’m not a nerd, I like to go out and get drunk etc, also worth noting I’m not the kind of guy that constantly goes for one night stands, in fact I think it’s kinda wrong it happens so often(especially since a girl is a **** for doing it so often but a guy is just known as a “player”). I have a few “Twitter friends”, most of them want to meet me at some point but that’s no excuse for making friends at uni. If anyone here is a Bournemouth uni fresher though, then hmu
Hey Brian

Like others have said in this thread, you should definitely try out some clubs and societies. I know many people who've made some long-lasting friends here.

From a personal standpoint, something that I only started doing this year was working at the student nightclub (The old Firestation - owned by SUBU) alongside my studies. Whilst the money on the side has helped with the occasional deliveroo, socially it's been great. I've met some really cool people and whilst it can be a bit cliquey at times, my only regret is not starting to work here earlier on - in say my first or second year of uni! If you're keen for this then I believe the applications open just before the academic year starts - so around early September.

Hope this has helped but if not then I'll be happy to answer any more burning questions!

- Dom B
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