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Would you/ should women help pay towards an engagement ring? Watch

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    So I got engaged a few months ago now.
    Long story short we bought a ring from a high street store that ended up being faulty so we got a refund. We picked and chose a new ring that was 5x the price, knowing that you usually get what you pay for. As it was so expensive I wanted to help my bf with paying for it (we could pay interest free over 3 months which was great).

    In the end I ended up paying for around 1/4 of the total price. As the one who's going to be wearing it for the rest of my life I have no problems in putting towards some of the bill. My bf feels really bad about it as he's quite traditional in a lot of ways and thinks it should be him paying for this sort of thing. Without my help though we wouldn't of been able to get such a nice ring, I really didn't mind and I don't care about getting the money back, even though he insists.

    What are all your views about this? Do you think we live in an age now where its more acceptable for women to help towards the cost of things such as this, or do you think it should just be the sole responsibility of the guy? I guess I'm asking in circumstances where the woman pre- knows about the engagement
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    If you know it’s going to happen and you get to choose your ring then it’s fair to ask what the budget is. Traditionally it’s one months wage ( set by the diamond industry!)
    Some spend more, some less.
    If you know the budget but like a ring that’s more expensive then I think you should offer to pay the difference.
    Assuming you will get married then probably you’ll be sharing those expenses so if he doesn’t take money for the ring you can make it up there.
    If he’s traditional and wants to buy the ring himself then let him do that. It’s not selfish if he wants to do it.
    Fallouts over a ring aren’t a good start!
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    If you want to sure. Though I don't quite see the point, if you marry you share everything anyway. Else what's the point of marrying, with always a foot out of the door.
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    I think if it is hugely expensive, for me that is over £500, then yes the woman should pay some because, like you said, she's the one wearing it, not the guy. If the time comes for me, I wouldn't be able to choose a ring over £500. The money could go to something so much better. I think my budget would be around £50-£200. I already know the ring I want, just have to wait to see if I get it one day ha.
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    (Original post by Sammylou40)
    Fallouts over a ring aren’t a good start!
    There's been no fallouts Just thought it was an interesting topic as lots of people I've asked all have different opinions
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    I am quite traditional and think that the man should pay for it, as if you buy it together it takes the element of surprise out of the proposal! But everyone is different and does things differently!

    Interestingly however, now that I am married I will probably be upgrading my engagement ring in a few years time, which will obviously be paid for by both of us as we have shared finances.
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    It is for the chap to set the budget at what he can afford. If the ring chosen is more than that, then certainly the woman with expensive tastes should pay the difference.
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    Totally fine for a woman to chip in if she wants to, but there is that tradition linked to it so I can see why he would feel uncomfortable, especially after the one he chose broke.
    What matters is your relationship though. You got that ring to represent how much you love him. He is the entire reason that ring is on your finger so remind him of that and how important he is to you. He should get over it soon enough.

    Oh and congratulations
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    If I have to pay for my engagement ring, I could as well propose to myself and marry myself.

    But that's just me. To each his/her own.
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    My husband let me chose my engagement ring since he knew I wasn't the biggest fan of jewellery and I just went for a cheap one at £25 from Warren James Jewellers and it was paid for out of both of our money as we have always clubbed everything together once we moved in together years ago. I don't see a problem with a woman paying for all or some of her ring but then I do also see why people want to stick to tradition. At the end if the day, it doesn't so much matter who buys the ring - just as long as you share and comprise on everything else in life as that's one of the foundation of a marriage.
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    (Original post by Sammylou40)
    If you know it’s going to happen and you get to choose your ring then it’s fair to ask what the budget is. Traditionally it’s one months wage ( set by the diamond industry!)
    Some spend more, some less.
    If you know the budget but like a ring that’s more expensive then I think you should offer to pay the difference.
    Assuming you will get married then probably you’ll be sharing those expenses so if he doesn’t take money for the ring you can make it up there.
    If he’s traditional and wants to buy the ring himself then let him do that. It’s not selfish if he wants to do it.
    Fallouts over a ring aren’t a good start!
    Its actually 3 months salary
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    It pretty much defeats the purpose.
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    If he wants me to have an engagement ring, he'll have to pay for it. I don't care about them, don't wear rings even, not fussed about the price. In fact, expensive (not even 'too' expensive) is just not my way.
    I see nothing wrong with a woman chipping in if she feels like, if both agree with it.
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    (Original post by Sammylou40)
    If you know it’s going to happen and you get to choose your ring then it’s fair to ask what the budget is. Traditionally it’s one months wage ( set by the diamond industry!)
    Some spend more, some less.
    I thought it was three to three and a half months! It sounds like you've been short changed haha.
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    (Original post by DrawTheLine)
    I think if it is hugely expensive, for me that is over £500, then yes the woman should pay some because, like you said, she's the one wearing it, not the guy. If the time comes for me, I wouldn't be able to choose a ring over £500. The money could go to something so much better. I think my budget would be around £50-£200. I already know the ring I want, just have to wait to see if I get it one day ha.
    on the one hand i think you're crazy for thinking a ring over £500 is expensive but on the other hand i kinda like the attitude of how that money could be better spent elsewhere
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    I think if the couple are struggling for money they should pay together. Traditions shouldn't trump common sense, it would be ridiculous if a guy ended up in serious debt over an engagement ring that if his partner helped him pay for would have been fine
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    no
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    Its your choice but no I wouldn't pay towards my own ring
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So I got engaged a few months ago now.
    Long story short we bought a ring from a high street store that ended up being faulty so we got a refund. We picked and chose a new ring that was 5x the price, knowing that you usually get what you pay for. As it was so expensive I wanted to help my bf with paying for it (we could pay interest free over 3 months which was great).

    In the end I ended up paying for around 1/4 of the total price. As the one who's going to be wearing it for the rest of my life I have no problems in putting towards some of the bill. My bf feels really bad about it as he's quite traditional in a lot of ways and thinks it should be him paying for this sort of thing. Without my help though we wouldn't of been able to get such a nice ring, I really didn't mind and I don't care about getting the money back, even though he insists.

    What are all your views about this? Do you think we live in an age now where its more acceptable for women to help towards the cost of things such as this, or do you think it should just be the sole responsibility of the guy? I guess I'm asking in circumstances where the woman pre- knows about the engagement
    I bought my husband a ring of his choice after he proposed to me, I think marriages should be equal so I wanted to start ours that way.
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    Unless your plan is to keep separate finances despite being married, the woman will end up carrying a lot of the cost anyway surely?
 
 
 
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