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    Need help with essays. Take a look.Name:  image-bb896afb-7183-46da-bc1f-a1d74e4a2c761905791832-compressed.jpg.jpeg
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Size:  89.0 KBName:  image-f1a7839f-36b2-4be2-9f17-402e0df0f23f386436163-compressed.jpg.jpeg
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    If you could just take a look at these and point out any major errors or flaws you could see.
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    It seems like your teacher has done a good job of highlighting the flaws and positives in this essay, do you really need someone else to go over it?
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    yes
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    Your teacher has done a fantastic job of finding areas of weakness in your essay. You definitely need some more AO1 (that is outlining) and your writing of the AO3 is a little 'immature' in terms of the specialist terms used. By this I mean that by the end of the course you will know a great deal more terms for your evaluation and how to, as my teacher says, 'hang' different ideas to them to structure your essay so that you get the top marks. Do not be disheartened, but definitely take on your teachers advice as it really is detailed Good luck!
 
 
 
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