Well im a girl from manchester who met a guy from shrewsbury on yellow ( a dating app) and well we've been talking since may and well its been a while obvs and i do really like him but am starting to get doubts about him as my friends are telling me i made a mistake by taking him back. He and i spoke everyday since we met and would talk all day.We both knew we liked each other as more than friends however were always joking.Until late august when he decided to tell me that he felt like we drifted apart (this is only because i went on holiday for a week and could not talk to him 24/7 although i messaged him everyday) and that with him starting college and the distance he couldnt see us being a real thing and that a girl he's known since nursey has told him that she liked him and they are now talking. so yeah that was great baring in mind that i had developed feelings for him but i simply said okay and then just that its fine we were probably better off as friends anyway.and after a while of crying i got over it like i had never met him in real anyway so i figured i was being dramatic but then a week later i messaged him and said to him that i was fine with us being friends now and when i did so he said he didnt want to talk, but the next day he messaged me saying he really missed me and that he and this girl were no longer speaking as he apparently kept thinking about me and didnt have the same connection with her than he did me. Obviously i was happy that he figured he made a mistake but told him it did not change anything as i wasnt going to go there now but then noticed he was using yellow again and the thought of him popping up to other girls frustrated me so as we were still talking as friends (ish like it was more than friends) he said that if id take him back he wouldnt do that again and that he just wants us to go back to normal so i did and all of my friends called me a mug for it but is it really that bad to take back a guy you really like?
He then deleted yellow and we kept talking all day everyday we also made arrangments to meet however i cancelled because my mum suprised me with a trip to denmark in the holidays and when i did cancel he was veryy upset but told me to have fun and we still talked everyday and facetimed a bit too, and he recently admitted to crying over this as he really wanted to see me. And because of our busy scheduals its really hard to see each other unless i went over there for a few hours on a weeknight but we decided that the first time we see each other should be special and we should spend a whole day together so we are both skipping college for his birthday and he is coming to visit me.
he always calls be beautiful and has recently told me that he loves me however i have noticed that on his insta pictures most of his likes are from girls and as we are not 'officially' together( as i said we would have to meet up in person before this happens) i cannot comment and have realised that to all his followers i am just like them because he likes a lot of girls photos and doesnt comment on mine either. he also has a lot of streaks with other girls and my name is simply saved as my name without a heart or anything.
am i being dramatic by looking into this so much and should i just forget about it or am i right is this fishy?
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am i being dramatic? watch
- Thread Starter
- 07-11-2017 20:28
Offline19Very Important Poster
- Very Important Poster
- 07-11-2017 22:32
You are going to need paragraphs
- 07-11-2017 22:40
I think it's okay to take someone back if he really changed and deleted all of that dating sites... Good luck and love eachother
best ****ing thing ever in a relationship; delete instagram. it will save so much nerves trust me
- 07-11-2017 22:40
To be honest, this does not sound like it's going to work out.
I mean for one, all it took was one week of not being able to talk 24/7 (which in itself isn't healthy if you NEED to talk that much) for him to decide you are drifting and that it's not working.
Secondly he has already chosen someone else over you, and then quickly changed his mind. This shows he's fickle and likely not very mature.
Thirdly the distance. Whether you like it or not, long distance relationships are very very difficult to maintain. It's a lot harder to truly get to know the person, the time you get to spend with them ends up becoming pressurised because you are worrying about wasting what time you have which can lead to a lot of anxiety and the need for everything to be "perfect" when together, another thing which can lead to an unhealthy type of relationship.
Also from the sounds of it. You've not even met yet? I think you're probably better off letting go at this point. I doubt this will end well.
Also it's a massive red flag to me that he's told you he loves you before he has even met you. A MASSIVE one.
Also I'm going to be even more honest, you clearly don't trust him or sound mature enough to deal with this situation yourself. And I don't mean that in an insulting way, I really don't. I remember a time when I felt similarly to you, and bloody hell was that relationship of mine a massive mistake and regret of mine. It's not normal to be obsessing over whether he puts a heart after your name, or who's pictures he comments on or what girls he has on insta. These are all things that come with relationships that aren't built on trust and are between two immature people (again not an insult).
Relationships should never be like this.