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concerned about bi polar
Hi
I’m posting as anonymous as this is obviously a bit personal.
Essentially I’m wondering if some of you people here with experience of bipolar in yourselves or loved ones could help.
I've suspected I may be bi polar for a few years now, ever since I was sixteen. Now I’ve moved into university education certain problems are becoming too much and whatever it is that is affecting me is growing in strength.
I was depressed a lot in my early teens but this was more angst stuff and failure to fit in kind of things that are pretty normal. However when I first got into sixth form I became very depressed and tried to overdose. It wasn’t a sort of woe is me or my girlfriend had dumped me or anything it was just a sort of 'i'd rather be dead feeling'
I also had another period in sixth form where I felt really energetic and hyper. I didn't sleep much. I bunked lessons. Got in trouble with the police and lost my three closest friends when I ran off with the plane tickets home on a weekend away. Also during this period I was having delusions, I became a convinced solipsist and essentially believed I was a sort of reincarnation of every great literary figure. I thought I was an absolute genius (sounds like complete madness now but at the time made perfect sense)
Soon after this I went into a depression. A pretty mild one as things go but I had difficulty sleeping and become lethargic. Thought about suicide etc.
When I first went to uni I was doing ok but within the first year I became very depressed and dropped out. It felt like a real bad depression.
In the summer I had a very productive period writing some stuff that did well in competitions etc. but as it went on i became very edgy and paranoid. I became really scared about Indian and Chinese economic policy (this too is clearly absolute madness). I got into a completely unfair row with a friend who would no longer speak to me.
I’ve started another course and people have asked me about my behaviour. The friend who stopped talking to me finally forgave me the other day and jokingly said it was good to see I was sane again.
I have been feeling the signs of something coming on. Maybe a depression. I feel like I’m sinking here. So I went to see the counsellor at uni as I don’t want to drop out again. She fobbed me off a bit and said I didn't seem bi polar. I would normally accept this but she started talking about some strange 'birthing' anxieties etc. I googled this and it seems a load of old clap trap.
So if anyone could give me advice about who to go see or what to do or just maybe re assure me that everyone gets down or something. It seems that everyone thinks they are bi polar nowadays and that it had become a bit of fad and I think maybe I’ve just got caught up in it. I’ve read the hell that some people go through and I’m not that bad. But on the other hand I seem to do some strange things. Perhaps I have a mild form or something.
If you do have some experience with this let me know if it would be to Pm as there are some over details that Id rather not post here.
I’m posting as anonymous as this is obviously a bit personal.
Essentially I’m wondering if some of you people here with experience of bipolar in yourselves or loved ones could help.
I've suspected I may be bi polar for a few years now, ever since I was sixteen. Now I’ve moved into university education certain problems are becoming too much and whatever it is that is affecting me is growing in strength.
I was depressed a lot in my early teens but this was more angst stuff and failure to fit in kind of things that are pretty normal. However when I first got into sixth form I became very depressed and tried to overdose. It wasn’t a sort of woe is me or my girlfriend had dumped me or anything it was just a sort of 'i'd rather be dead feeling'
I also had another period in sixth form where I felt really energetic and hyper. I didn't sleep much. I bunked lessons. Got in trouble with the police and lost my three closest friends when I ran off with the plane tickets home on a weekend away. Also during this period I was having delusions, I became a convinced solipsist and essentially believed I was a sort of reincarnation of every great literary figure. I thought I was an absolute genius (sounds like complete madness now but at the time made perfect sense)
Soon after this I went into a depression. A pretty mild one as things go but I had difficulty sleeping and become lethargic. Thought about suicide etc.
When I first went to uni I was doing ok but within the first year I became very depressed and dropped out. It felt like a real bad depression.
In the summer I had a very productive period writing some stuff that did well in competitions etc. but as it went on i became very edgy and paranoid. I became really scared about Indian and Chinese economic policy (this too is clearly absolute madness). I got into a completely unfair row with a friend who would no longer speak to me.
I’ve started another course and people have asked me about my behaviour. The friend who stopped talking to me finally forgave me the other day and jokingly said it was good to see I was sane again.
I have been feeling the signs of something coming on. Maybe a depression. I feel like I’m sinking here. So I went to see the counsellor at uni as I don’t want to drop out again. She fobbed me off a bit and said I didn't seem bi polar. I would normally accept this but she started talking about some strange 'birthing' anxieties etc. I googled this and it seems a load of old clap trap.
So if anyone could give me advice about who to go see or what to do or just maybe re assure me that everyone gets down or something. It seems that everyone thinks they are bi polar nowadays and that it had become a bit of fad and I think maybe I’ve just got caught up in it. I’ve read the hell that some people go through and I’m not that bad. But on the other hand I seem to do some strange things. Perhaps I have a mild form or something.
If you do have some experience with this let me know if it would be to Pm as there are some over details that Id rather not post here.
Reply 1
16
bumping because it took a while to be approved 
Reply 2
My dad was abused physically (not sexually) as a child and suffers with Bi-Polar. I may have mentioned it before in H&R on these forums at some point before. Growing up with him has caused some problems, such as my inability to speak to my dad about serious matters even now as an adult. I don't know who he is sometimes. He is on heavy medication (anti depressants) but his dosage has to be upped. He's in therapy at the moment but all it seems to be doing is digging up repressed memories which make it worse around the house. My mum is having a hard time dealing with it all because now I've moved out she's on her own with him.
He has two/three moods. One is normal, like any dad, cares for their family, works hard, listens etc. One is extremely infantile, sort of like he lapses into a weird sadistic childlike state. He makes ridiculous jokes and acts in quite an ignorant way. The third is the worst, which is suicidal, violent (never towards me or the family though) and depressive. More than once I've been scared he's killed himself because he will go missing for hours and hours at a time, or lock himself in a room. He does it to stop himself doing or saying things he will regret, so he explained to me.
It's certainly not fun. I would go and see a GP about it, and maybe get onto medication. Doctors nowdays will listen, my dad was ignored for years because once-upon-a-time the ultraconservative health service saw it as pathetic for a man to have such issues. It also damages my dads pride, he's a working man and has been bricklaying his whole life - he's almost expected to be a mans man. His father was an old-school Policeman and was very violent towards my dad. As a result he had a big lack of respect for authority in his 20's. He drank a lot, was well known to the Police and the community etc. If it wasn't for my mum he would never have straightened out. He often says my mum saved his life, he'd probably be in prison or dead if it weren't for her.
If you are concerned I seriously advise you see someone. Bi-Polar/Manic Depression/Depression doesn't just hurt you as a person, it hurts everyone around you. I'm perfectly willing to tell you all about it if you want!
He has two/three moods. One is normal, like any dad, cares for their family, works hard, listens etc. One is extremely infantile, sort of like he lapses into a weird sadistic childlike state. He makes ridiculous jokes and acts in quite an ignorant way. The third is the worst, which is suicidal, violent (never towards me or the family though) and depressive. More than once I've been scared he's killed himself because he will go missing for hours and hours at a time, or lock himself in a room. He does it to stop himself doing or saying things he will regret, so he explained to me.
It's certainly not fun. I would go and see a GP about it, and maybe get onto medication. Doctors nowdays will listen, my dad was ignored for years because once-upon-a-time the ultraconservative health service saw it as pathetic for a man to have such issues. It also damages my dads pride, he's a working man and has been bricklaying his whole life - he's almost expected to be a mans man. His father was an old-school Policeman and was very violent towards my dad. As a result he had a big lack of respect for authority in his 20's. He drank a lot, was well known to the Police and the community etc. If it wasn't for my mum he would never have straightened out. He often says my mum saved his life, he'd probably be in prison or dead if it weren't for her.
If you are concerned I seriously advise you see someone. Bi-Polar/Manic Depression/Depression doesn't just hurt you as a person, it hurts everyone around you. I'm perfectly willing to tell you all about it if you want!
Reply 3
Your uni councelling service might have another councellor that you could speak to. It's worth going to see the doctor as they can refer you to councelling or mental health services etc.
cjpt89 has given you really good advice there. doctor's do listen & they have a duty of care to their paitents.
cjpt89 has given you really good advice there. doctor's do listen & they have a duty of care to their paitents.
Reply 4
Just wondering when these spells were time-wise? As you mention one up period being in the summer and a depressed period at the moment.
Reply 5
My best friend's bipolar and I would say you sound like it too, although obviously I'm not a doctor or anything...
She's fine most of the time, but then when a relapse is brewing she becomes a lot more eccentric, acts and thinks irrationally, gets very paranoid and thinks that she has to sort out everyone else's lives because she thinks everyone else is crazy. It's these times that we have to get her to the doctor and up her medication. I've never been there in an actual full blown relapse, but she has said that she gets delusional, manic etc.
She hasn't relapsed in a while, I think having a settled and secure environment to live in etc definitely helps keep it at bay. But reading CJPT89's post, my friend has a more mild case, because it by no means controls her life.
I would say go and see someone, CJPT89 seems to know what he's talking about!
good luck
She's fine most of the time, but then when a relapse is brewing she becomes a lot more eccentric, acts and thinks irrationally, gets very paranoid and thinks that she has to sort out everyone else's lives because she thinks everyone else is crazy. It's these times that we have to get her to the doctor and up her medication. I've never been there in an actual full blown relapse, but she has said that she gets delusional, manic etc.
She hasn't relapsed in a while, I think having a settled and secure environment to live in etc definitely helps keep it at bay. But reading CJPT89's post, my friend has a more mild case, because it by no means controls her life.
I would say go and see someone, CJPT89 seems to know what he's talking about!
good luck
Reply 6
I'm bi-polar, and I can definitely identify with how you feel. The sinking feeling is common just before a 'crash', I'd definitely get another opinion on this.
Bi-polar is VERY difficult on the people around you, especially before a diagnosis.
If you ever need to chat, just PM me, I'm always ready to listen.
Bi-polar is VERY difficult on the people around you, especially before a diagnosis.
If you ever need to chat, just PM me, I'm always ready to listen.
Reply 7
There are loads of different mood disorders differing in severity and symtoms so you might not be bipolar. Its important not to label yourself as this can do more harm than good. Talk to a doctor about it and see what they say.
Reply 8
14
Personally, I would talk to a doctor. Reemeber, your doctor isn't a mental health professional, so they may end up referring you to someone who is and they'll be able to help you out and give you what it is you need.
Reply 9
20
If you DO have bi-polar, you need to see a doctor as well as a counsellor. Your GP will probably refer you to a psychiatrist if they think it's appropriate. It's better to go sooner rather than later, as if you DO have it, manic episodes tend to get worse each time so starting treatment would be good.
It's true that everyone does get down at times, but there's a world of difference between feeling down and depression.
It's true that everyone does get down at times, but there's a world of difference between feeling down and depression.
Reply 10
Some symptoms of biploar depression that i know of: (mostly demonstrated during mania)
delusions of gradeur (thinking you're famous)
thinking others are trying to harm them
self harm
Hearing voices
schizophrenia
loss of social inhibitions
under the impression you're fine (during manic stage)
increased work ethic
reckless
high energy/rarely sleep
etc. etc.
You seem to show a lot of those from your description. I'd go and see a doctor who'll no doubt refer you elseware or give you lithium carbonate or something. Either way, i hope you feel better soon
delusions of gradeur (thinking you're famous)
thinking others are trying to harm them
self harm
Hearing voices
schizophrenia
loss of social inhibitions
under the impression you're fine (during manic stage)
increased work ethic
reckless
high energy/rarely sleep
etc. etc.
You seem to show a lot of those from your description. I'd go and see a doctor who'll no doubt refer you elseware or give you lithium carbonate or something. Either way, i hope you feel better soon
Reply 11
I feel very bad for you, I know being bipolar can be very difficult. Doctors and councellors never seem to understand, and always seem to fob it off as depression or blame it on random things that are unrelated. It's not usually until you see a professional psychiatrist you start to find some sort of answer. SSRI's such as paroexetine that he/she prescribes can provide short relief from bipolar disorder (couple of months or more), but in the long term they seem to make it worse. Please feel free to pm me and we can talk more, I am hoping it may be mutually beneficial.
Reply 12
20
SSRIs should NOT be first-line treatment for bipolar.
Reply 13
Helenia
SSRIs should NOT be first-line treatment for bipolar.
I agree. But they make a big difference. Sometimes after various other methods, combinations of drugs such as SSRI's are the best option. Especially if the bipolar disorder is caused by natural brain chemistry instead of pshycological origins. No amount of pshycotherepy is going to change your brain chemistry, plus during the depression phase some people with bipolar disorder are in need of SSRI's in order to reduce suicide risk.
Bipolar disorder (psychological and organic) can severly affect your interaction with daily life. SSRI's are quite often the tool that allows the bipolar disorder to become stabalised enough to allow other forms of treatment to take place, and relatively normal interation to take place, with the extreme's of mania and depression lessoned.
Trust, SSRI's are temporarily effective against bipolar disorder. Extreme Bipolar disorder may require other drugs, especially in organic cases (the use of small doses of sodium valporate is rare but effective in these cases). I agree they should not be the first resort, but there are many cases in which they are essential.
Reply 14
ok thanks for the replies everyone. I really appreciate you all taking the time to help me - especially CJPT89 (i hope things work out with you and your dad) I'm not going to self diagnose and will just go see the doctor with an open mind (just to be sure).
some of you said it would be ok to pm you and might just take you up on that in the future.
thanks again everyone
some of you said it would be ok to pm you and might just take you up on that in the future.
thanks again everyone
Reply 15
20
amazon-bluebird
I agree. But they make a big difference. Sometimes after various other methods, combinations of drugs such as SSRI's are the best option. Especially if the bipolar disorder is caused by natural brain chemistry instead of pshycological origins. No amount of pshycotherepy is going to change your brain chemistry, plus during the depression phase some people with bipolar disorder are in need of SSRI's in order to reduce suicide risk.
Bipolar disorder (psychological and organic) can severly affect your interaction with daily life. SSRI's are quite often the tool that allows the bipolar disorder to become stabalised enough to allow other forms of treatment to take place, and relatively normal interation to take place, with the extreme's of mania and depression lessoned.
Trust, SSRI's are temporarily effective against bipolar disorder. Extreme Bipolar disorder may require other drugs, especially in organic cases (the use of small doses of sodium valporate is rare but effective in these cases). I agree they should not be the first resort, but there are many cases in which they are essential.
Bipolar disorder (psychological and organic) can severly affect your interaction with daily life. SSRI's are quite often the tool that allows the bipolar disorder to become stabalised enough to allow other forms of treatment to take place, and relatively normal interation to take place, with the extreme's of mania and depression lessoned.
Trust, SSRI's are temporarily effective against bipolar disorder. Extreme Bipolar disorder may require other drugs, especially in organic cases (the use of small doses of sodium valporate is rare but effective in these cases). I agree they should not be the first resort, but there are many cases in which they are essential.
Sorry, I didn't mean they shouldn't be used. But it's my understanding that if you have a patient with bipolar, the first line treatment should be a mood stabiliser such as lithium or valproate. SSRIs alone have been shown to trigger mania and psychosis, so should not be used like this in bipolar disorder, but can help with the depression side of things if in conjunction with a modd stabiliser.
Reply 16
Anonymous
ok thanks for the replies everyone. I really appreciate you all taking the time to help me - especially CJPT89 (i hope things work out with you and your dad) I'm not going to self diagnose and will just go see the doctor with an open mind (just to be sure).
some of you said it would be ok to pm you and might just take you up on that in the future.
thanks again everyone
some of you said it would be ok to pm you and might just take you up on that in the future.
thanks again everyone
No worries buddy
Every case seems to be very different so a Doctors advice is most likely the best option.Reply 17
My sister and cousin are both bi-polar.
You should start by talking to your GP and get a referral to a psychologist or a mental health service for diagnosis.
You should start by talking to your GP and get a referral to a psychologist or a mental health service for diagnosis.
Reply 18
14
Homage
Some symptoms of biploar depression that i know of: (mostly demonstrated during mania)
delusions of gradeur (thinking you're famous)
thinking others are trying to harm them
self harm
Hearing voices
schizophrenia
loss of social inhibitions
under the impression you're fine (during manic stage)
increased work ethic
reckless
high energy/rarely sleep
etc. etc.
You seem to show a lot of those from your description. I'd go and see a doctor who'll no doubt refer you elseware or give you lithium carbonate or something. Either way, i hope you feel better soon
delusions of gradeur (thinking you're famous)
thinking others are trying to harm them
self harm
Hearing voices
schizophrenia
loss of social inhibitions
under the impression you're fine (during manic stage)
increased work ethic
reckless
high energy/rarely sleep
etc. etc.
You seem to show a lot of those from your description. I'd go and see a doctor who'll no doubt refer you elseware or give you lithium carbonate or something. Either way, i hope you feel better soon
Some of these are also symptons of other illnesses. Generally, it's not a good idea for someone to try and diagnose themself with an illness.
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