I've been in love with this girl for 4 years, we dated for 3 of them but broke up due to a number of reasons, her friends did not like me, I had some severe anxiety issues that were made worse by our relationship and we felt like we needed to step away from the relationship. After only a week I heard that she'd gone to the cinema with another guy and they started dating.
Skip forward 5 months and we start talking again and long story short she leaves him.
That brings us to round about now, I've been stupid and we both rushed back into things. Recently she has become very toxic and unreasonable.
She will get upset about the smallest of things and when I try to calm her down she attacks me (verbally) calling me every name under the sun even tho in most cases I'm not the reason shes annoyed or angry. Furthermore shes become very distant taking hours to reply to texts and with only a couple of words. I've tried everything I can think of to sooth things out and talk about it with her, However it always ends with her getting abusive and taking it out on me calling me stupid, and so on. Later she will call me or text me as if nothing has happened its exhausting and really messes with my head.
What should I do? my friends have all said to leave her and move on, I can understand why they would say this and its advise I would give if it was the other way around but I really do love this girl, and when we don't talk I get so sad and down its unbearable.
How do I calm her down when she gets like that and how do I discuss things that upset me that she does without causing her to become angry and abusive.
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- Thread Starter
- 08-11-2017 00:33
- 08-11-2017 01:16
I don't know if there is an underlying reason for her behaviour. I think you need to talk to her about it, and tell her how it makes you feel. If she truly cares for you, she would want you to be happy and try to change her ways. If things don't improve, you will need to think about spending some time apart. You can love someone but it doesn't make up for not being happy together.
- 08-11-2017 02:23
You don't. It's not your job to fix her, and it's a very common mistake people make to try to "fix" their partners and they just end up getting hurt, tired, frustrated and dejected in the process.
The only person who can change her, is herself.
- 08-11-2017 19:31
- 09-11-2017 11:22
Are you the same age or is she younger? It sounds as though there’s something going on with her and nothing you’re doing wrong. it could be due to things such as stress or anxiety or I hate to say it, she could be lashing out at you because she’s not into you anymore and is trying to make you finish with her. Just be careful and if it ever, ever, EVER gets physical you walk away. You deserve better.
- 09-11-2017 14:18