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Ex Boyfriend Meeting Up With Old Housemate - have I a right to be annoyed? Watch

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    Me and my ex boyfriend broke up about 4 months ago... We haven't seen each other since and I have avoided all contact with him just because it is too hard seeing him.

    We met up last weekend - I had some time off so he suggested we go away to Spain for a few days to re group etc. we had a lovely time but when I got back I saw on his phone loads and loads of messages from a girl who I used to live with.

    Now this girl is absolutely notorious for trying to get attention, she is incredibly young minded and an incredibly immature 22 year old girl (he is 32 so ten years older than her). It turns out they've met up - he sent her a few sexually explicit messages about having a hotel room he wanted to fill and she sent him a few ones saying her friend thought she was cute.

    BEARING IN MIND ME AND HER ARE FRIENDS AND HAVE MESSAGED SINCE!!

    She never once brought any of this up to me or mentioned they've been texting or meeting up.

    He claims it is because he was so annoyed at me for breaking up with him he just wanted 'an in' with my friendship group again and was so upset when I dumped him that he latched on to anyone that knew me.

    But now I don't know what to do - should I get back with him, he has apologised so many times but I just feel that if your ex is slimey enough to message a girl you've been living with 2 weeks after you break up he really can't be trusted.
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    (Original post by Lucy_121)
    Me and my ex boyfriend broke up about 4 months ago... We haven't seen each other since and I have avoided all contact with him just because it is too hard seeing him.

    We met up last weekend - I had some time off so he suggested we go away to Spain for a few days to re group etc. we had a lovely time but when I got back I saw on his phone loads and loads of messages from a girl who I used to live with.

    Now this girl is absolutely notorious for trying to get attention, she is incredibly young minded and an incredibly immature 22 year old girl (he is 32 so ten years older than her). It turns out they've met up - he sent her a few sexually explicit messages about having a hotel room he wanted to fill and she sent him a few ones saying her friend thought she was cute.

    BEARING IN MIND ME AND HER ARE FRIENDS AND HAVE MESSAGED SINCE!!

    She never once brought any of this up to me or mentioned they've been texting or meeting up.

    He claims it is because he was so annoyed at me for breaking up with him he just wanted 'an in' with my friendship group again and was so upset when I dumped him that he latched on to anyone that knew me.

    But now I don't know what to do - should I get back with him, he has apologised so many times but I just feel that if your ex is slimey enough to message a girl you've been living with 2 weeks after you break up he really can't be trusted.
    Think about why you split. Those problems will still be there. getting back with him seems more an attempt at control and to spite the other girl plus compensating for your perceived grievance.

    He is an ex and he can date or be friends with who he likes.
    You dont own or have rights over either.

    I can understand why it might grate, but seriously get on with your own life and let them get on with theirs. Too much drama and wasted effort. Move on.
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    (Original post by Lucy_121)
    Me and my ex boyfriend broke up about 4 months ago... We haven't seen each other since and I have avoided all contact with him just because it is too hard seeing him.

    We met up last weekend - I had some time off so he suggested we go away to Spain for a few days to re group etc. we had a lovely time but when I got back I saw on his phone loads and loads of messages from a girl who I used to live with.

    Now this girl is absolutely notorious for trying to get attention, she is incredibly young minded and an incredibly immature 22 year old girl (he is 32 so ten years older than her). It turns out they've met up - he sent her a few sexually explicit messages about having a hotel room he wanted to fill and she sent him a few ones saying her friend thought she was cute.

    BEARING IN MIND ME AND HER ARE FRIENDS AND HAVE MESSAGED SINCE!!

    She never once brought any of this up to me or mentioned they've been texting or meeting up.

    He claims it is because he was so annoyed at me for breaking up with him he just wanted 'an in' with my friendship group again and was so upset when I dumped him that he latched on to anyone that knew me.

    But now I don't know what to do - should I get back with him, he has apologised so many times but I just feel that if your ex is slimey enough to message a girl you've been living with 2 weeks after you break up he really can't be trusted.
    So wait you dumped him and now you are upset he is talking to other girls?
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    I don't have a problem with him dating/talking to other girls at all!

    Honestly we weren't together I understand that - I appreciate that and I have no problem with that.

    What is a problem when it is my friend, a girl I used to live with and spent a huge amount of time and was very close to. And they re meeting up under this pretence of 'talking about our relationship' so that she can console hime.

    They no longer talk at all now and he wants to get back together - I do understand and appreciate your comments especially 999tigger means a huge amount and a good perspective to have - thank you!
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    (Original post by Lucy_121)
    I don't have a problem with him dating/talking to other girls at all!

    Honestly we weren't together I understand that - I appreciate that and I have no problem with that.

    What is a problem when it is my friend, a girl I used to live with and spent a huge amount of time and was very close to. And they re meeting up under this pretence of 'talking about our relationship' so that she can console hime.

    They no longer talk at all now and he wants to get back together - I do understand and appreciate your comments especially 999tigger means a huge amount and a good perspective to have - thank you!
    You need to stand back, understand you feel annoyed and a bit let down or betrayed on a loyalty basis. Go and have a scream outside and then realise its just not worth the energy.

    He is 32 and you are a lot younger. You split for a reason, just realise you can find someone more compatible out there and I would go for that. Once you accpet it hasnt worked then you cna move on and stop wasting all this energy.

    If he wants to get back together, then how would it be better, what would he do to change etc? Its likely he wants more of the same and will not change.

    I would back yourself, stop wasting energy, chill and move on.
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    (Original post by Lucy_121)
    Me and my ex boyfriend broke up about 4 months ago... We haven't seen each other since and I have avoided all contact with him just because it is too hard seeing him.

    We met up last weekend - I had some time off so he suggested we go away to Spain for a few days to re group etc. we had a lovely time but when I got back I saw on his phone loads and loads of messages from a girl who I used to live with.

    Now this girl is absolutely notorious for trying to get attention, she is incredibly young minded and an incredibly immature 22 year old girl (he is 32 so ten years older than her). It turns out they've met up - he sent her a few sexually explicit messages about having a hotel room he wanted to fill and she sent him a few ones saying her friend thought she was cute.

    BEARING IN MIND ME AND HER ARE FRIENDS AND HAVE MESSAGED SINCE!!

    She never once brought any of this up to me or mentioned they've been texting or meeting up.

    He claims it is because he was so annoyed at me for breaking up with him he just wanted 'an in' with my friendship group again and was so upset when I dumped him that he latched on to anyone that knew me.

    But now I don't know what to do - should I get back with him, he has apologised so many times but I just feel that if your ex is slimey enough to message a girl you've been living with 2 weeks after you break up he really can't be trusted.

    SOunds to me like you need to reassess all of your relationships. WHat do you mean by friend....becausee it sounds like a) you don't like her and b she doesn't care about your feelings (if she did she would have at least talked to you about it). You also shoiuldn't be so insecure !! You were fine having broken up with him until you realised she was onto him? It's not a competiton, it never is. There are plenty of fish in the sea, and it sounds like he doesn't care. If you do get back with him it would only be sexual, since he doesn't sound like an amazing caring friend.

    SO just to clarify, do not get back with him...EVEr
 
 
 
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