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    I'm older now but when I was younger, my older sibling used to hit me. They would lash out and punch/kick/grab me and pull my hair, they would leave brushing, and if they grabbed me they would dig their nails in and make me bleed - if they couldn't get to me, they would kick my bedroom door (I would hold it closed and ask them to leave me alone). They were physically stronger so I tried to avoid ever angering them and when violence did occur I only ever defended myself because I learned that fighting back encouraged them and made them hit harder - and I could never win against their strength.

    Now I'm older, I realize that this was quite violent behavior. At the time I knew no difference. I was between age 10-14, they were 12-16 (2 years older than me).

    I just wanted to ask other people, if you have a sibling - is there physical fighting/violence. How far does it go? Would you describe my experience as abnormal or normal sibling behavior?

    The reason I'm asking is because, as an adult, I've decided not to have a relationship with my sibling (we've both moved out now) and they want to know why I don't keep in touch. This is the real reason - I think they're a bully with anger issues who never respected me. But I don't know if what was going on was normal and if I should just get over it because it just happens with kid siblings.

    So yeah, was it just kids being kids and should I get over it?
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    it sounds worse than normal sibling jostling. drawing blood should not happen.
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    To be honest, if they have changed and you can see that they are not the same person anymore then I think you should give them a chance. Personally, I feel like people can change their physically abusive ways but I don't think a teen who was racist can be nor racist anymore. But anyways.. give them a chance.
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    Me and my brother would fight a little but never to that extent, not going further than a slap. Definitely sounds extreme.
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    My God that's extreme, normal sibling fights never go so far, that's not ok at all. I don't blame you for not wanting to stay in touch with them, 12-16 year olds are definitely old enough to understand what they're doing, you sound better off without them tbh I wouldn't want to be around someone like that even if it did happen a while ago.
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    me and my brother were exactly like that. perfectly normal in my opinion. there were times when i got very seriously injured because of him but we are completely fine now
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm older now but when I was younger, my older sibling used to hit me. They would lash out and punch/kick/grab me and pull my hair, they would leave brushing, and if they grabbed me they would dig their nails in and make me bleed - if they couldn't get to me, they would kick my bedroom door (I would hold it closed and ask them to leave me alone). They were physically stronger so I tried to avoid ever angering them and when violence did occur I only ever defended myself because I learned that fighting back encouraged them and made them hit harder - and I could never win against their strength.

    Now I'm older, I realize that this was quite violent behaviour. At the time I knew no difference. I was between age 10-14, they were 12-16 (2 years older than me).

    I just wanted to ask other people, if you have a sibling - is there physical fighting/violence. How far does it go? Would you describe my experience as abnormal or normal sibling behavior?

    The reason I'm asking is because, as an adult, I've decided not to have a relationship with my sibling (we've both moved out now) and they want to know why I don't keep in touch. This is the real reason - I think they're a bully with anger issues who never respected me. But I don't know if what was going on was normal and if I should just get over it because it just happens with kid siblings.

    So yeah, was it just kids being kids and should I get over it?
    Hey, i am 17 and my little brother is 14, we are both boys so ofc we are going to fight and argue a lot but we always got over it in a couple hours. We would never really have long lasting fights or arguments.

    As the elder one yes would **** around a lot with him but I would NEVER go to the extent where I would want to make him bleed, i would never want to hurt him that bad as it was all jokes at the end of the day. The fact i am hearing that he physically made you bleed and chased after you and intentionally try to hurt in a bad way, **** that once i became old enough i would cut them off. Can i ask where were your parents/carers? How do you hold back from getting them involved?

    If that ever happened to me I would tell you now i would not get over that, that **** would scar me, its not something so small that i can say "yeah forget it" unless i was apologised to properly and the behaviour has stopped. Now that you have stopped talking, keep it that way. You are turning into a young adult and you don't need that type of ******** in your life trust me, I'm doing A2s and if i were to come home to such ******** i don't know what i would do.
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    I have a twin brother (non identical).

    He is 'bigger' (heavier :P) and slightly taller than me (I'm 5'10" and he is 5'11").

    He does most of this to me if I annoy him by staying in the same room as him and talking to him.

    Once he hit me in the face and I had a nosebleed :/.

    Meh. We're 13. What can I expect??

    I'm not perfect, but I never hit him unless he is trying to get me and want him to stop. I wind him up, but what siblings don't ?

    He doesn't draw blood, but does pull my hair etc and too all the other things you mentioned.

    He was kicked me in the head once before when I was lying on the floor with my cat in the dining room (where his computer is). It was quite light, but it did hurt cause earlier that day I had fallen over and banged my head at school on a muddy slope.



    Family eh?
    • #3
    #3

    Yes i used to be easily annoyed by my older (younger, but older of the 2) sisters. I sometimes hit them, (at most once every few days) maybe really hard. The worst that happened was they they were a bit red in where i hit them. Very rarely were there any bruises. I grew out of it 3-4 years ago and just used verbal abuse instead for another 2-3 years (just swearing and cheap insults) which is distasteful now i look back on it, but was better than physical contact. I don't do it anymore, except for the very occasional "stop p***ing me off" and "**** off" etc.

    Sounds like this is much more violent though tbh...
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    Thanks for all the responses so far - it's interesting get some perspective on this. You never really know what's a 'normal' family I suppose when you're just used to your own.

    (Original post by Emerald777O)
    To be honest, if they have changed and you can see that they are not the same person anymore then I think you should give them a chance. Personally, I feel like people can change their physically abusive ways but I don't think a teen who was racist can be nor racist anymore. But anyways.. give them a chance.
    They are still violent, just not towards me because I think he knows, as adults that there are laws and I would report him, but also because we are no longer close, I don't spend time with him and a space has developed to create a boundary or sorts. He only lashes out at people he is emotionally close to. He hits his partner and inanimate objects e.g. he can't get his deposit back on his flat because he punched a hole through a door and snapped the hinge on another one. When he told me he seemed to think I should feel sorry for him that his landlord wouldn't give him his money back.

    I'm female if that makes any difference to people's opinions.


    (Original post by Nawf01)
    Hey, i am 17 and my little brother is 14, we are both boys so ofc we are going to fight and argue a lot but we always got over it in a couple hours. We would never really have long lasting fights or arguments.

    As the elder one yes would **** around a lot with him but I would NEVER go to the extent where I would want to make him bleed, i would never want to hurt him that bad as it was all jokes at the end of the day. The fact i am hearing that he physically made you bleed and chased after you and intentionally try to hurt in a bad way, **** that once i became old enough i would cut them off. Can i ask where were your parents/carers? How do you hold back from getting them involved?

    If that ever happened to me I would tell you now i would not get over that, that **** would scar me, its not something so small that i can say "yeah forget it" unless i was apologised to properly and the behaviour has stopped. Now that you have stopped talking, keep it that way. You are turning into a young adult and you don't need that type of ******** in your life trust me, I'm doing A2s and if i were to come home to such ******** i don't know what i would do.
    They've never apologized, in fact when I brought it up they told me I used to wind them up (I don't remember intentionally winding him up) and that's why they did it - they also used to lock me in an immersion airing cupboard, for those who have or remember those things!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm older now but when I was younger, my older sibling used to hit me. They would lash out and punch/kick/grab me and pull my hair, they would leave brushing, and if they grabbed me they would dig their nails in and make me bleed - if they couldn't get to me, they would kick my bedroom door (I would hold it closed and ask them to leave me alone). They were physically stronger so I tried to avoid ever angering them and when violence did occur I only ever defended myself because I learned that fighting back encouraged them and made them hit harder - and I could never win against their strength.

    Now I'm older, I realize that this was quite violent behavior. At the time I knew no difference. I was between age 10-14, they were 12-16 (2 years older than me).

    I just wanted to ask other people, if you have a sibling - is there physical fighting/violence. How far does it go? Would you describe my experience as abnormal or normal sibling behavior?

    The reason I'm asking is because, as an adult, I've decided not to have a relationship with my sibling (we've both moved out now) and they want to know why I don't keep in touch. This is the real reason - I think they're a bully with anger issues who never respected me. But I don't know if what was going on was normal and if I should just get over it because it just happens with kid siblings.

    So yeah, was it just kids being kids and should I get over it?
    No your reasons are completely justified
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    Communication is important. Theyve reached out to you and yet you haven't explained yourself. Try talking and if they apologise and open up then go from there. If theyre still ignorant as to their wrongdoings then cut them off
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thanks for all the responses so far - it's interesting get some perspective on this. You never really know what's a 'normal' family I suppose when you're just used to your own.



    They are still violent, just not towards me because I think he knows, as adults that there are laws and I would report him, but also because we are no longer close, I don't spend time with him and a space has developed to create a boundary or sorts. He only lashes out at people he is emotionally close to. He hits his partner and inanimate objects e.g. he can't get his deposit back on his flat because he punched a hole through a door and snapped the hinge on another one. When he told me he seemed to think I should feel sorry for him that his landlord wouldn't give him his money back.

    I'm female if that makes any difference to people's opinions.




    They've never apologized, in fact when I brought it up they told me I used to wind them up (I don't remember intentionally winding him up) and that's why they did it - they also used to lock me in an immersion airing cupboard, for those who have or remember those things!
    Nope im sorry but F that, seriously with no apology such bad behaviour, they can happily get out of my life. honestly unless you find a way of somehow resolving it then you should cut them off.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thanks for all the responses so far - it's interesting get some perspective on this. You never really know what's a 'normal' family I suppose when you're just used to your own.



    They are still violent, just not towards me because I think he knows, as adults that there are laws and I would report him, but also because we are no longer close, I don't spend time with him and a space has developed to create a boundary or sorts. He only lashes out at people he is emotionally close to. He hits his partner and inanimate objects e.g. he can't get his deposit back on his flat because he punched a hole through a door and snapped the hinge on another one. When he told me he seemed to think I should feel sorry for him that his landlord wouldn't give him his money back.

    I'm female if that makes any difference to people's opinions.




    They've never apologized, in fact when I brought it up they told me I used to wind them up (I don't remember intentionally winding him up) and that's why they did it - they also used to lock me in an immersion airing cupboard, for those who have or remember those things!
    Report tf outta him.
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    I was going to say hit them back but then I read the thread. Report them
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    I'm on particularly good terms with my brother so I don't know how much insight I can give, but me and him very rarely fight, and when we do it's usually a bit of a verbal tiff and then all is forgiven. What you are describing sounds more like assault :/ and as far as I can tell, someone regularly assaulting their younger sibling is not in any way a healthy sibling relationship.
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    Man this is the same relationship I have with my older sister. she had a temper problem and always took it out on me. over every minor thing, or basically if i just didn't listen to her every demand, shes beat me into it. and somedays she'd hit me just to experiment, like one time she wanted to know what it was like punching someone in the face and asked me if she could do it to me, i said no... so she turned around and punched me in the face, hard. and then laughed like a spazstic and was like 'oh sorry i thought you said yes' ****ing bs as always. she still lies like that even today. she'll ask if she can half of the food i bought but then she'll eat the whole thing and be like 'no you said i could have all of it' - shes almost ****ing 30 ffs! majorly ****ed up in the head. i hate her ****ing guts, always have. i actually wish she'd go to hell.

    sorry just ranting. and yeah she also wants to keep a relationship with me, she beats me but often says that she wants us all (me and all my other siblings) to live together forever. shes ****ing joking, like i'd ever live with her forever. much rather be by myself.
 
 
 
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