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    so I have my GCSE language speech in a few days and I have written a speech but I don't know if its good enough, my speech sabot all teenagers having a part time job. my speech is below. any ideas on how to improve would be appreciated

    Good afternoon my name is Bethan mathias and before I start .
    How many of you are always out of money, and how many of you are always asking your parents for money. And does it always end well? I highly doubt it. So what is the answer? Should all teenagers have a part time job. This is what i am here to discuss today.

    Recently , i read an article from the daily mail online were a business leader said that “too many teenagers leave school without any work experience” i see this as a huge deficit as having a part time job is a great way to obtain work experience and does not only look good on a cv but also gives teenagers a knowledge of the work pace and what the working world is really like. Furthermore, teenagers having a part time job will give them a chance to acquire new skills such as, teamwork, communication and listening skills whilst learning to multitask. It also gives them an opportunity to learn how to effectively manage finances, even if the teen is simply using their earnings to pay for their own expenses they will learn to budget between clothes, social events and hair, makeup etc. this will give them a sense of independence and confidence.

    However, I am aware that having a part time job during GCSEs isn't very practical. As part of my research i listened to a podcast on BBC radio where they talked about how having a part time job whilst undertaking exams will have a damaging effect on their final GCSE grade. Having a part time job might also make teenagers more likely to start drinking alcohol and smoking through peer pressure. Although only working a few hours a week seem to have little effect on teenagers and their schoolwork research shows that when the hours go over 20 hours a week they are more likely to be absent from school and have lower grades than their peers. There are many obstacles for teenagers who are trying to find employment as they have to consider many things such as, finding reliable transport links and that can be difficult if the job is not close by, as many parent work long hours. Also teenagers today have to fight against stereotypes that employers of older generation may have regarding teenagers, such as, poor attitudes, or lack of skill, can be challenging especially in the particular economy there are not many job opportunities for teenagers.

    Alternatively, teenagers can get a summer job which would not have an effect on their school work and provides positive use of their free time. It allows teenagers to see the benefits of work without putting too much strain on their busy school schedule.

    In conclusion I believe that all teenagers should have a part time job as it has many positive aspects and will help them in many ways in the future. Having work experience will open many paths for them in the future and as a teen myself I know how hard it is too get a job as everything is very competitive, so i feel that having a part time job will add additional experience to their C.V that other non working applicants may not have.

    Thank you for listening and I will leave you with this quote from A professor of childhood studies Berry Mayall simply stated “quite frankly school doesn't really suit everybody” and i personally couldn't agree more, as everyone is individual and no two people are the same.
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    i read through your speech. there are a few spelling mistakes, but i suppose that does not matter if you are going to read it out.

    some of the sentences are very long; you could perhaps split them up. overall it contains plenty of relevant information and is a lively engaging piece.

    *you have given your full name... you might want to edit that.
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    (Original post by the bear)
    i read through your speech. there are a few spelling mistakes, but i suppose that does not matter if you are going to read it out.

    some of the sentences are very long; you could perhaps split them up. overall it contains plenty of relevant information and is a lively engaging piece.

    *you have given your full name... you might want to edit that.
    thank you so much I will read over it out loud and see where i can change some things.
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    Nice but, you're not actually going to say it word to word ?

    just remember the main points and let it flow out
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    I really liked some of the language, and your references show you have a genuine interest, which will definitely reflect favourably.
    I would however say, in my opinion (I am not an expert in spoken language), I wouldn't start by stating your name if you're delivering it in front on people you know, contextual awareness is necessary when giving a speech. Your speech also needs a clear motivation, why are you writing it? To convince people to take up a part-time job? It would then be necessary to give your argument and show a strong forceful opinion (people should take up a part-time job). I wouldn't conclude your speech by stating 'in conclusion' ironic, but it's not an essay, and sounds unnatural. It honestly doesn't seem particularly long, have you practised delivering this? For GCSE, I think a speech realistically needs to last at least five minutes.
    The content is very good, but needs some adjustment so it can be delivered like a speech. I would also consider syntax and tone when delivering a speech, e.g. placing emphasis on certain words etc
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    Take out the following:

    This is what I am here to discuss today

    Recently I read an article from the daily mail

    I see this as

    Furthermore,

    However, I am aware

    In conclusion I believe
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    Wow, that really good! The question is... Would you be able to memorise all that? Iv'e already done my speech for GCSE and got a distinction. One advice I would give you. Only look down when you need to read something (quickly). Read slowly so you have time to look at peoples faces and look at your sheet again. And get ready for those questions. I took soo much time planning my speech, when it came to answering peoples questions, I stumbled quite a lot, but I managed to pull it off. Think about what first question comes in your head and what other questions will pop up in other people minds. You seem confident and your plan looks amazing, good luck, you'll smash it!

    Spoiler:
    Show


    Sorry, that was definitely more than one advice. Hehehe, sorry!

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    thank you so much I did my speech and teacher said it was an A grade but we will have to see when it gets officially marked
 
 
 
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