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Split the bill equally or just pay for what you've eaten? Watch

  • View Poll Results: Do you split the bill equally or just pay for what you eat?
    Split the bill!
    20
    20.62%
    Pay for what I eat!
    77
    79.38%

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    if it's an unfair split I'd only pay for what I've eaten but if the people I'm out with are all paying roughly the same give or take a few pounds it saves hassle
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    (Original post by discobish)
    I came across an article on The Sun (no judgement pls it was a one off) that claims a woman on Mumsnet has been branded 'joyless' when she refused to pay more than her share of the bill when having a meal out.

    Which made me think...

    If you're out for dinner, do you think it's acceptable to only pay for what you've eaten?

    Or, do you think it's good form to split the bill down the middle?

    I'm usually a pay-for-what-I've-had type of gal, unless I'm with my besties or I'm rolling in the $$$$.

    If I'm only having a main, there ain't no way I'm funding someone else's cocktails and three course meal :innocent::noway:

    How about you?
    It depends. I'm Vegan so I don't want to pay for others to eat meat. So I would prefer to pay for what I have had only. However, if I was with my close friends and all our food was a similar price, I'd be happy to just split the food bill. Drinks however are a seperate question. Drinks vary dramatically in price. If I'm only drinking water or non expensive alcohol, I'm not gonna split my bill with someone who has had 10 Mojitos. Not a chance in hell.
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    (Original post by Reue)
    Everyone apart from him, me, my work colleagues, family and friends.

    If you want to divide it up then go somewhere like Nandos so everyone can order separately.
    Yes if only I were Mr High Society like you and 'Bang Outta Order' perhaps I'd know better how things were done; until then I guess it's Nando's for me.

    Most people round up a bill and split it evenly. If you're going out regularly with the same people I get taking turns to pick up the bill; apart from that it would be sort of weird to assume that one person is just going to pick up the bill.
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    (Original post by Bang Outta Order)
    Adults don't sit around splitting bills. That's embarrassing. Start working and go out with colleagues at a meeting over lunch, normally one person pays because that's an admirable and professional gesture, or everyone pays their own way.
    So your idea of being an adult is having other people pay for your meal. I mean, I fully admit that your rich mate saying "I am going to get this" is one of the best feelings you can have, but I wouldn't say it was necessarily a sign of adulthood. A similar thing happened when I was 5 and my dad took me to McDonald's.
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    (Original post by TimmonaPortella)
    Yes if only I were Mr High Society like you and 'Bang Outta Order' perhaps I'd know better how things were done; until then I guess it's Nando's for me.
    I don't see why taking it in turns to pay to bill would be considered high society.

    (Original post by TimmonaPortella)
    Most people round up a bill and split it evenly. If you're going out regularly with the same people I get taking turns to pick up the bill; apart from that it would be sort of weird to assume that one person is just going to pick up the bill.
    I think you again need to look at the age group responding here. Teenagers/young-adults tend to go out in large friendship groups which, you're right, would be likely to want to just pay their own.

    Older adults tend to go out either as work groups or couples and so will take it in turns to foot the whole bill. That's the point Bang is trying to make.
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    Well I always eat a ****ing lot anyway so IDGAF :lol: As courtesy, I normally wait until we get the bill, calculate in my head how much my food was, round that up to the nearest fiver and chuck that amount on the table.
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    (Original post by discobish)
    I came across an article on The Sun (no judgement pls it was a one off)
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    (Original post by Reue)
    I don't see why taking it in turns to pay to bill would be considered high society.



    I think you again need to look at the age group responding here. Teenagers/young-adults tend to go out in large friendship groups which, you're right, would be likely to want to just pay their own.

    Older adults tend to go out either as work groups or couples and so will take it in turns to foot the whole bill. That's the point Bang is trying to make.
    Well it seemed as though you thought it was, since, according to you, anyone who doesn't conform to that and wants to divide it up should 'go somewhere like Nando's'.

    I'm specifically not talking about wanting to 'just pay your own', to the point that my first post ITT was an objection to people getting the calculators out. You just split it evenly, as I keep repeating, and deal with it one way or another, most obviously by putting in cash. Of course if you're going out regularly with a group you might agree that that's unnecessary, but it's perfectly possible even for fully fledged grown-ups such as yourself to go out with people -- friends, family friends, other couples, colleagues, acquaintances -- they don't necessarily dine with with any regularity, and in that case why would one party be expected to take care of the whole meal?

    Of course they wouldn't, so I find it quite strange that you consider the habit of splitting a bill so childish and/or beneath your station.
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    (Original post by UWS)
    Just don't do this...

    "You had more the brownie" always cracks me up,
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    if im with friends or family then I prefer to just take it in turns to pay for it all. Ill treat you today, next time its on you etc.

    Much easier and relaxed, and its always quite nice to feel like youve been treated to lunch/dinner, even if you know next time its on you.

    -- With people who I may not see again, half and half. I imagine you would have to be serriously pendantic or poor to worry about how much X person ate compared to you, and how many more pounds/pence they should put in..
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    if its expensive and i order a lot less than the other person sure as hell im only paying for myself. but if we pretty much order the same thing than idm splitting it.
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    I pay for everything like a rich boss-man does

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    the other thing that influences it for me is:

    who is the host?

    If I have invited someone somewhere, and they have travelled to come and see me, do the things I want to do with them, maybe stay with me/in the same city etc - then I am the host, they are my guest, and there is 0% chance they are paying.

    (I will often let them pay a token gesture, say we are doing 4 things that day that cost money, they can pay for the cheapest one.. I find this works very well because then they do not feel that they are completly taking advantage of you, and you in turn feel that they are greatful.)

    Obviously though this only works then if the person does the same thing back for you when they are hosting.. but from my experiance not only is it a great way of testing someones character, it also surprises you how generous people can be, if they feel that their generosity will be matched.
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    If you are eating with actual friends you will split the bill. My mates always end up repaying eachother somehow, often with a few drinks. Also we are all aware of the fact that next time we eat, someone else will spend the most etc so it always works out.
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    (Original post by TimmonaPortella)
    If you actually read through the thread, no-one is talking about what they do on dates. That's a whole different thing.

    edit: And there really isn't money over the place or 'long division' if you split the bill evenly. It gets as complicated as, there are four of us and the bill is £108, let's call it 30 each and there's a tip in it. That's literally all that's needed.



    Tbh it would be reasonable for the higher disposable income friends to make adjustments to where they're going in that case. Personally I'd feel pretty bad if I were sat there ordering all sorts of food and drinks and I was aware that others present couldn't afford it. I'd probably either not order extras myself, or just end up sharing my stuff.

    And actually in general I think there's something of an expectation that you keep your consumption vaguely in proportion to everyone else's. Like if people are just having one course and a soft drink you don't make everyone sit there and watch you have four courses, wine, coffees, and digestifs. You're just not meant to do that. On the other hand if it's just you not joining in with a lot of what others are having I already said I wouldn't expect a full share from you, that's just unreasonable.

    I guess what's important is just that you're all on the same page, but still if I personally went out with working, adult friends, had similar meals, and one insisted on getting his calculator out I would find that kind of annoying.
    I'm not trying to be judgemental but you just sound like someone who has never been the 'poor friend'. I've been in this position and know others who have too and no one wants to tell their 5 friends who are excited about goign to a nice restaurant 'sorry can we just go to pizza express I can't afford it'. What they'd probably do is insist I come with them and say they'll chip in some money for me. I don't want to be freeloading on people. But if I refused that offer they'd go to pizza express and have a meal they don't enjoy so much and I'll spend all night feeling like I ruined their meal. So I'll probably check out the menu and decide if there's something I'll enjoy which isn't too pricey and tell them I'm training/busy/etc in the morning so I'm not drinking. That way my friends have fun, I have fun and no one ends up feeling bad about it.

    Literally no one gets a calculator out. As I said, it's not hard to add up a few bits and bobs. Any adult should be able to do that in their head quickly. And if the meals are similar then I completely agree, I'm not going to bicker over a few £.
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    (Original post by doodle_333)
    I'm not trying to be judgemental but you just sound like someone who has never been the 'poor friend'. I've been in this position and know others who have too and no one wants to tell their 5 friends who are excited about goign to a nice restaurant 'sorry can we just go to pizza express I can't afford it'. What they'd probably do is insist I come with them and say they'll chip in some money for me. I don't want to be freeloading on people. But if I refused that offer they'd go to pizza express and have a meal they don't enjoy so much and I'll spend all night feeling like I ruined their meal. So I'll probably check out the menu and decide if there's something I'll enjoy which isn't too pricey and tell them I'm training/busy/etc in the morning so I'm not drinking. That way my friends have fun, I have fun and no one ends up feeling bad about it.

    Literally no one gets a calculator out. As I said, it's not hard to add up a few bits and bobs. Any adult should be able to do that in their head quickly. And if the meals are similar then I completely agree, I'm not going to bicker over a few £.
    Well I'd just point out that we seem to be talking about quite a specific, fairly tricky situation here. I'd note again that the woman in the article in OP isn't a student, but a fully adult woman with a husband and children. But, I dunno, it sounds like in your case your friends are decent and everyone's behaving reasonably. I think I'd still feel bad if you were missing out on the drinks everyone else was having, particularly if I'd played a part in making you go somewhere you couldn't really afford. In fact really considering it I think I'd claim to love pizza express to avoid the whole issue. It's nice to go to nice places but it's not that big a deal, I'd rather be somewhere everyone's comfortable. Whatever works for you, though.
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    You should pay for what you've eaten, because if what they get is much more expensive than what you get, then youre just paying extra money so they can get more expensive food so pay for what you got
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    I think it depends on the situation/who I'm eating with

    As a female I've had guys offer to pay for my dinner or take me out to dinner as a nice gesture and I naturally feel bad that they're even paying for my meal, so I usually always offer to pay for my meal first. If they insist they will pay for everything I will let them. The same could be said if a guy is nice enough to offer a girl dinner and paying for all of it then it works out for both them. At least for me I'll always offer to pay first just to be nice so I don't come off as freeloading a guy. If it's a boyfriend I am 50/50 with letting him pay or having myself pay for my half of the dinner. If my boyfriend has the money to buy us both our dinners then I'm ok with it, if he is a bit short on cash I'll pitch in my half to not put a burden on him. I'm not always forcing a bf to pay for my meals just because he's my bf.

    For friends it's a bit of different dynamic for me. If it's 1 on 1 dinner then most of the time I'll always pay for my half and they'll pay for theirs. The only times I would pay for both meals is if I owe them a favor for helping me in the past and it's "repayment" for their kindness or if it's a special occasion like their birthday. If it's in a group setting like 3+ ppl then I always pay for my meal because everyone tends to order different priced items and different quantities. I don't want to pitch in a bill for drinks I didn't order or appetizers/desserts I didn't eat. And sometimes there are certain people that ruin the idea of splitting the bill because they'll make an excuse of "Oh I'm short on cash I can only pitch a small amount" so it's not an equal split of the bill.

    So me I always look at the people I'm with and what situation I'm at. I don't paying for my own food or having someone pay for it.
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    I would only pay for my own food. Some people take advantage of splitting it equally and buy a bunch of food and are greedy!
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    On a real, I'd wouldn't pay for my date's meal or alcohol. Split the bill evenly and thats it, standard mate
 
 
 
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