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Boyfriend going to work in Australia for a year Watch

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    Background, we've been dating just over 2 months now

    hes in his last year at uni and im in my second

    he wants to go and work in Australia with his mate for a year... theyve planned to go October next year..

    he's got interviews with the Embassy before chirstmas....


    and he's only just told me now.....


    when i asked him where this leaves us and why he didnt tell me
    his word for word response was:

    'I just need the experience of travelling, i gotta do it when i'm young, dont wanna look back and regret anything
    i wanna carry on with our relationship, but i really do intend on going away, its always been my plan and has been for a while'


    im just so upset he's telling me all this now....

    he might leave me... what if he finds some one better than me while hes out there? I can't do long distances
    • #1
    #1

    Break up with him. He’s been dating you for two months, yet he decided to tell you now.

    He could be hiding other things.
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    He's his own person and considering you've only been together for 2 months, I think it's best to take things one step at a time...October next year is 11 months away! Enjoy the now.
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    It's not like he told you the night before. It's just a little under a year away! Be happy that he told you!
    Wow, long distant relationships are hard af. If you like him a lot then you would just wait for him but if you're impatient like me then I suggest you just DISTANCE yourself from him. If he leaves you then that's just how it is. Soz.
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    Yeah this will probably end in a breakup

    He didn't give you a straight answer cos he plans on shagging aussie Sheila's from October 2018, where you'll probably be a stop-gap until then. In all fairness to him though he did use the cliché gotta do it while I'm young, I wanna travel etc. So he's pretty much flat out said, it's not like he's committed, why would he after two months.

    Up to you tbh, wanna cut your losses or stay till sell by date 🤔
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    He was clearly attracted to you so much that he wanted to start a relationship despite this. So if he told you then then maybe nothing would have happened and I think that would have been more sad than what has happened here, although I get that you feel upset by this and the uncertainty that it casts on your future.

    You'll get through it one way or the other. If it doesn't work out you'll be fine.
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    TBH I'd end it. You've not been together that long so it's not crazy that he didn't tell you. But I can't see many people surviving a year without seeing each other and realistically yo're not going to be visiting each other in Australia. After two months a break up isn't a huge thing but it will be harder after a year.
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    (Original post by HMPD97)
    He's his own person and considering you've only been together for 2 months, I think it's best to take things one step at a time...October next year is 11 months away! Enjoy the now.
    i guess so, but we both know that we have untill october? whats the point if we both know it may not last?

    (Original post by Emerald777O)
    It's not like he told you the night before. It's just a little under a year away! Be happy that he told you!
    Wow, long distant relationships are hard af. If you like him a lot then you would just wait for him but if you're impatient like me then I suggest you just DISTANCE yourself from him. If he leaves you then that's just how it is. Soz.
    i guess youre right

    (Original post by somemightsay888)
    Yeah this will probably end in a breakup

    He didn't give you a straight answer cos he plans on shagging aussie Sheila's from October 2018, where you'll probably be a stop-gap until then. In all fairness to him though he did use the cliché gotta do it while I'm young, I wanna travel etc. So he's pretty much flat out said, it's not like he's committed, why would he after two months.

    Up to you tbh, wanna cut your losses or stay till sell by date 🤔
    i know what you mean.. thats what i thought too

    (Original post by Kevin De Bruyne)
    He was clearly attracted to you so much that he wanted to start a relationship despite this. So if he told you then then maybe nothing would have happened and I think that would have been more sad than what has happened here, although I get that you feel upset by this and the uncertainty that it casts on your future.

    You'll get through it one way or the other. If it doesn't work out you'll be fine.
    i dont know, i love him, and i dont want to break up with him, but if i know i only have a few months with him, whats the use?
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    I know you've only been together 2 months but I think he should of told you a lot sooner than what he did.

    I understand he is his own person and it may have been planned before he met you. But, on the other hand when you are in a relationship you are supposed to put your girlfriend or boyfriend first regardless of how long you've been dating. And by moving away he is basically saying stuff this relationship I am going to do what I want. Putting stress on any relationship is going to have it's consequences but even more so when the relationship is newer and you still getting to know each other.

    When you are going out with the right person, that person wouldn't want to leave you in a different country anyway it should be the last thing on his mind in my opinion. Sorry, to say but maybe he just isn't that much into you.

    Long distance is hard and you really have to trust the person to make it work. You also need the patience of a saint. Would he be the type to stay in contact regularly? Or would he ignore your calls etc.. all things you need consider. I guess it's a case of what you are willing to put up with. But, if it was me I wouldn't like it at all and would find it hard to do long distance as I would be wondering why he chose going away with his friend over his girlfriend.
    • #2
    #2

    He wants you as a girlfriend for now and then is probably going to break up with you before he goes (or a few weeks into Australia). By the time it's Sept next year, he'll be planning the breakup, enjoying the sex and perks of relationship but with one foot out the door. You on the other hand will be so invested in him at this point.
    If you want to keep enjoying the short term and stay with him now then prepare yourself for future heartbreak/relationship struggles. Right now you'll probably want to stay with him and hope that it all works out but it's unlikely that it will I'm afraid. That being said, I've been in this position a couple times and even though I got my heart broken, I don't regret the time I spent with them because they were great relationships. But at the same time, I wouldn't do it again because it's difficult. Up to you.
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    (Original post by CleverSquirrel)
    Background, we've been dating just over 2 months now

    hes in his last year at uni and im in my second

    he wants to go and work in Australia with his mate for a year... theyve planned to go October next year..

    he's got interviews with the Embassy before chirstmas....


    and he's only just told me now.....


    when i asked him where this leaves us and why he didnt tell me
    his word for word response was:

    'I just need the experience of travelling, i gotta do it when i'm young, dont wanna look back and regret anything
    i wanna carry on with our relationship, but i really do intend on going away, its always been my plan and has been for a while'


    im just so upset he's telling me all this now....

    he might leave me... what if he finds some one better than me while hes out there? I can't do long distances

    remember what happened last time he went travelling

    he was gone a few weeks and in that time pretty much forgot you even existed.

    what do you think is going to happen when he's gone for a full year?

    tbh if I were you i'd start shopping for a new bf, I do not think this paddy guy is capable of maintaining any sort of long distance relationship.............

    I would split up with him and then see what happens when he gets back, and if he's still single and you're still single perhaps you can rekindle something ......but I really don't think a LDR is going to work for you two ..sorry........
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    He wants you as a girlfriend for now and then is probably going to break up with you before he goes (or a few weeks into Australia). By the time it's Sept next year, he'll be planning the breakup, enjoying the sex and perks of relationship but with one foot out the door. You on the other hand will be so invested in him at this point.
    If you want to keep enjoying the short term and stay with him now then prepare yourself for future heartbreak/relationship struggles. Right now you'll probably want to stay with him and hope that it all works out but it's unlikely that it will I'm afraid. That being said, I've been in this position a couple times and even though I got my heart broken, I don't regret the time I spent with them because they were great relationships. But at the same time, I wouldn't do it again because it's difficult. Up to you.
    (Original post by ANM775)
    remember what happened last time he went travelling

    he was gone a few weeks and in that time pretty much forgot you even existed.

    what do you think is going to happen when he's gone for a full year?

    tbh if I were you i'd start shopping for a new bf, I do not think this paddy guy is capable of maintaining any sort of long distance relationship.............

    I would split up with him and then see what happens when he gets back, and if he's still single and you're still single perhaps you can rekindle something ......but I really don't think a LDR is going to work for you two ..sorry........
    so what do i do? i mean its in a years time and it may not even happen, it all depends on how what the Embassy say...

    i dont want to break up with him :s
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    He's basically lied to you and it's still a new relationship. Don't waste a year of your life waiting to see if he comes back to you - move on.
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    (Original post by CleverSquirrel)
    so what do i do? i mean its in a years time and it may not even happen, it all depends on how what the Embassy say...

    i dont want to break up with him :s
    It doesn't seem like he's very committed to you though. In fact, it almost seems like he's trying to prompt you to split up with him.
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    From your blog, it seems as though he wasn't so bothered about his girlfriend when he went on holiday. He 'conveniently' forgot about her.
    One entire year away... ^^that doesn't set good standards tbh.
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    (Original post by CleverSquirrel)
    so what do i do? i mean its in a years time and it may not even happen, it all depends on how what the Embassy say...

    i dont want to break up with him :s

    Do what most women do..

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/ar...urns-sour.html


    Spoiler:
    Show

    if you don't want to be alone preferably line up the new guy first, and then once it's a sure thing break up with paddy.............

    tbh though you could just wait it out and "hope" for the best, it's not like you're old or anything and eggs are drying up. but bear in mind based on his past behavior the odds most likely are against a LDR working with you two.....
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    is this an internet bf?
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    (Original post by ANM775)
    Do what most women do..

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/ar...urns-sour.html


    Spoiler:
    Show



    if you don't want to be alone preferably line up the new guy first, and then once it's a sure thing break up with paddy.............

    tbh though you could just wait it out and "hope" for the best, it's not like you're old or anything and eggs are drying up. but bear in mind based on his past behavior the odds most likely are against a LDR working with you two.....


    ngl i have a few of those

    (Original post by Stuffme)
    is this an internet bf?
    no he's not
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    Don't want to come off as a pessimist but long distance relationships usually don't work out - particularly when you are on opposite sides of the globe....
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    I can’t write on your wall anymore :cry: but try keep your chin up chuck :hugs: . Everything happens for a reason , and whilst something is happening you might be like ‘wtf what is the reason for this ... it’s not fair’. It just means there’s many more doors to be opened for you , your destiny lies elsewhere ! Love :love:
 
 
 
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