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Muslim parents refuse to let me move away for uni Watch

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    (Original post by Lychee627)
    But like the question is why were we told? Does it really matter? Not only muslim parents do this?
    I would assume because the OP felt that it was relevant.

    Muslim parents are more likely to be controlling of their daughters IMO. The relevance IMO is that I would not expect them to stop being controlling when their daughter is an adult. They are less likely to question their actions, because they believe that their religion mandates it (even if it doesn't). Religion (not just Islam) makes good people do bad things.
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    (Original post by RogerOxon)
    It's their life to do with as they will. They clearly want to escape the controlling environment that they'e in. Who are you to say that they're 'immature' for that?


    Do you know the OP's parents? Didn't think so.


    Islamic communities often have rather backward views on women. They are not afforded the same freedoms as men.
    I passionately dispute, let's be honest your only source of Islam is a few headlines and skim reads of papers, the oldest degree awarding uni was founded by a muslim woman (al-Fihri), or what about Al Aslamia a medical doctor hailed by this muslim community you slander, or even Nusayba a women described by Muslim Clerics as being 'better than a thousand men' she was a warrior who defended the Prophet Muhammed, the Prophet of Islam prayed for this woman and her family, he didn't however tell her to get back in the house. Please discard your prejudices, having read a mere sample of Islamic heritage and learn this religion for yourself!
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    (Original post by liquidconfidence)
    Also no offence but the fact that you felt the need to include 'Muslim parents' in the thread title is partly why there's so much islamophobia right now.

    What's the fact that they're Muslim got to do with it? Many strict parents don't want their sons/daughters travelling outside the city for a number of reasons.

    You're living in THEIR house. Using THEIR bills and facilities. Yes, you may think that you're an 'adult' but you rely on them for a lot so if they don't want you unnecessarily commuting outside of London for uni then coming back using their resources when you choose, they are not evil people (and yes you can argue it's unnecessary because there's Kings, UCL, Imperial and I bet you haven't even applied to unis that good outside of London).

    For all we know there's another reason why they're being so strict, we don't know your behaviour, you could be sexually promiscuous for all we know and they're trying to limit you. Don't use Islam as an excuse. How can they force you to wear a scarf? Furthermore, what's so bad about covering your hair anyway? You sound like a sulky sullen teenager or a troll.
    lol you're silly
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    I agree on getting a job and saving as much as possible, any money that you get save it.

    The best way out of this situation is financial independance.

    Also it's worth addressing this issue now so it doesn't become a shock to you. Student maintenance loans are means tested, so if your parents refuse to give financial information because they don't want you to move...you will end up with the minimum loan. Which is nearly 4k if living outside of london. You may be able to get a bursary from your university, but again these are usually means tested and reply on financial information of your parents. 4k will not be enough to live on in the vast majority of UK cities. I could just about scrape living on 4k now (I love on 5k atm) but that would mean only food and accommodation, 0 left over for even a coffee with friends. So you need to plan ahead.

    When you go to uni try to get a part time job. Find the cheapest accommodation. Depending on city renting a room in a house share may work out far cheaper than accommodation, work over the summer etc. Worst comes to worst, sell some possession to gather some funds, Be extremely frugal.

    If they try to stop you physically call the police. It's illegal and you do not have to put up with that behaviour.


    The unfortunate truth is you may have to choose between your own freedom and your family (if they will disown you). That is entirely your choice. No one can make that choice for you.


    If you're really stuck, citizens advice bureau may be able to sign post you to relevant help/ charities to help you gain your independence. This is unfortunately not an uncommon problem.
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    (Original post by Lychee627)
    That its not just about women? Parents sometimes dont let men go outside either, so it doesnt even matter about women :facepalm:
    We don't know how controlling they were of her brother. We do know that Islamic communities tend to place far more constraints on women.

    And one more thing , had it been Christianity , do you think OP would have said my "Christian parents...." , I doubt it tbh but yeah I was just wondering
    I doubt that she would have too - Christian parents don't have a reputation for it.
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    (Original post by justanotherchica)
    My parents have been controlling my life so much that they're stopping me from make use of opportunities because I'm a girl... and I can't live alone and I can't travel more than 48 miles, and t and they force me to wear a scarf.

    I sent off my UCAS application today and all the unis I've applied to are out of London because i'm so dissatisfied with my life right now and I want to have my own independence and not be subjected to their ridiculous rules. I've tried talking to them about it but they refuse to let me leave and I've tried to persuade them so many times but they won't budge at all.

    I'm definitely leaving but idk how, what if they try to physically stop me? what if I run out of money? What if they never let me come back? What if they don't ever talk to me again? and they have threatened some of the above..
    Physically stop u? Talk to them softly and explain, use your cousins mums or something to get your parents understanding a different perspective. Or call the police but they are your parents.

    Run out of money? Take a bigger maintenance loan or get a part time job

    Never let you come back? Ngl that’s a big one but talk to them. I guess in 3 years u can support urself financially, and that’s even more a reason to find a job to save for rent if it comes to it( trust me it won’t come to that, they love u too much)
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      (Original post by RogerOxon)
      I would assume because the OP felt that it was relevant.

      Muslim parents are more likely to be controlling of their daughters IMO. The relevance IMO is that I would not expect them to stop being controlling when their daughter is an adult. They are less likely to question their actions, because they believe that their religion mandates it (even if it doesn't). Religion (not just Islam) makes good people do bad things.
      Fair enough but read her post "but I have a brother who commuted to a uni in London" , she said this , meaning its not even about daughters ygm?
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      (Original post by Lychee627)
      That its not just about women? Parents sometimes dont let men go outside either, so it doesnt even matter about women :facepalm:


      I admit it will but what will Tsr do if her parents are muslim?
      Like it doesnt change the fact her parents aren't letting her outside London?
      And one more thing , had it been Christianity , do you think OP would have said my "Christian parents...." , I doubt it tbh but yeah I was just wondering
      Oooh I've got a fun game! Let's play "guess Lychee627's religion"!

      With a victim complex as pronounced as yours I don't think this game will take long...
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        (Original post by Retrodiction)
        Oooh I've got a fun game! Let's play "guess Lychee627's religion"!

        With a victim complex as pronounced as yours I don't think this game will take long...
        Okay lets ask one question, what religion does Retrodiction follow?
        100% not Islam , right?
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        (Original post by adamantacademic)
        I passionately dispute, let's be honest your only source of Islam is a few headlines and skim reads of papers, the oldest degree awarding uni was founded by a muslim woman (al-Fihri), or what about Al Aslamia a medical doctor hailed by this muslim community you slander, or even Nusayba a women described by Muslim Clerics as being 'better than a thousand men' she was a warrior who defended the Prophet Muhammed, the Prophet of Islam prayed for this woman and her family, he didn't however tell her to get back in the house. Please discard your prejudices, having read a mere sample of Islamic heritage and learn this religion for yourself!
        How many Islamic communities require men to cover their faces, having only a slit for their eyes?
        Why does the Quran make a woman's testimony worht less than a man's? Islam is blatantly sexist.

        Anyway, this is getting off-topic. If you want to debate Islam, there are other threads.
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        (Original post by RogerOxon)
        I would assume because the OP felt that it was relevant.

        Muslim parents are more likely to be controlling of their daughters IMO. The relevance IMO is that I would not expect them to stop being controlling when their daughter is an adult. They are less likely to question their actions, because they believe that their religion mandates it (even if it doesn't). Religion (not just Islam) makes good people do bad things.
        I'm glad you said IMO btw, I was gearing up my fingers for a refutation...

        Not to brag or anything:
        Spoiler:
        Show

        I studied Arabic & Islamic Studies, My Conclusion: The Mainstream is good for brash conclusions but for insight and scriptural awareness? Never
        I would never imagine myself writing this but now whenever I see Britain First, EDL or Majid Nawaz I cringe so badly!
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          (Original post by RogerOxon)
          We don't know how controlling they were of her brother. We do know that Islamic communities tend to place far more constraints on women.


          I doubt that she would have too - Christian parents don't have a reputation for it.
          Well all im saying is she mentioned her brother commuting , meaning its not about women in her family.
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          (Original post by Lychee627)
          Fair enough but read her post "but I have a brother who commuted to a uni in London" , she said this , meaning its not even about daughters ygm?
          Again, we don't know why her brother studied in London. It may have been his choice.
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          (Original post by liquidconfidence)
          It's so amusing when people cannot figure out how to respond so instead resort to lame comments which add nothing to the thread.

          lol you're backwards
          I might have been inclined to take you seriously if I had seen any well-reasoned comments, but I just don't know how to respond to nonsense.
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            (Original post by RogerOxon)
            Again, we don't know why her brother studied in London. It may have been his choice.
            Ask Op , do you really think it would have been his choice realistically?
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            (Original post by liquidconfidence)
            'Cultural' not religious background. We didn't need to know they were Muslim.
            Gives an insight, though. And so? It's unnecessary to derail the thread with such pedantry.
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            (Original post by Lychee627)
            Okay lets ask one question, what religion does Retrodiction follow?
            100% not Islam , right?
            "Not Islam" is not a religion, alas.

            If I had stated that your religion was "not Zoroastrianism", would you say I had correctly ascertained that your religion was Islam?

            The intellectual quality of this forum has declined over the years...
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              (Original post by Retrodiction)
              "Not Islam" is not a religion, alas.

              If I had stated that your religion was "not Zoroastrianism", would you say I had correctly ascertained that your religion was Islam?

              The intellectual quality of this forum has declined over the years...
              Not Islam though, am I right?
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              (Original post by liquidconfidence)
              That's not what I said. Read before you respond next time.

              My point is the fact that she specifically applied to universities outside London (despite the fact that there are high-ranking unis within the city) is immature because she never really made an informed choice did she?

              It's like someone who lives in Oxford saying: 'oh I never applied for any unis in Oxford because my Muslim parents are so strict and I'm dissatisfied with my life and want independence'.

              Duh.
              Nope, that is exactly what you said, it is just that you didn't explain why she was immature in your previous post. As a result people didn't get the point that you were trying to make.

              Eitherway, you cannot be so sure that she didn't make an informed choice since the OP didn't tell us that it was her only reason to applying to those Unis.
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              (Original post by RogerOxon)
              How many Islamic communities require men to cover their faces, having only a slit for their eyes?
              Why does the Quran make a woman's testimony worht less than a man's? Islam is blatantly sexist.

              Anyway, this is getting off-topic. If you want to debate Islam, there are other threads.
              Nope I won't let that slide at all.

              The woman's testimony found in Surah Nisa was ordained due to the fact at that time women weren't involved with dealings, they could get cheated by men in the industry. In fact it was commonplace for women to appoint financial managers to assist them with their assets (e.g inheritance), for instance Khadijah herself appointed the Prophet Muhammed as a Merchant to see to her trades. Thus the Qur'an advises women to bring another female friend/relative with them to work together for a resolution.
              But obviously the context is different today and I'm of no doubt Financial lecturers/analysts/researchers are professions held by many women today.

              With regards to your statement on the Niqaab please bring a statistic or something....
             
             
             
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