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I had sex even though I didnt want to and it's traumatized me Watch

    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    I had sex with a guy that I got close to and he's in the same frienship group. I was a virgin and he was my first, the problem is I didnt want to have sex but I didn't say anything to him. That is my fault. I let him do whatever he needed to and this has traumatized me, I can't stop feeling dirty. I am constantly thinking about it and it's making me really depressed to the point that I'm thinking about self harm. I really dont know how to deal with these feelings because I've never been in this position. It's worse because he's talking to his ex and they're going to get together. No matter how many times I wash myself I still feel dirty and I feel like a whore. I really hate myself and I'm feeling very guilty. Can someone please help me.
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    https://www.samaritans.org/how-we-ca...you/contact-us
    • #2
    #2

    I don't really know how i can help you because you feel dirty, it is all psychological. I really have no idea how you could feel any better. Just don't self harm. I guess the only thing you can really do is wait the next time you are in a relationship. Sorry that i couldn't help much.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    thank you but this wont help me
    • #3
    #3

    I know how you feel. Washing doesn't help, because the feeling doesn't wash away.
    If you can, talk to someone about it, even if it is on samaritan etc.
    Utilise your time, stay occupied and try to fill your life with activities you love and enjoy. Go out more, start loving yourself again. What's happened, has. Don't be too harsh on yourself.
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    If you are at uni or college, go and see your counsellor on campus. They will get you help with local chairities to help people who have been in the same experience as yourself. You can get counselling.
    Or tell your GP and they will help guide you to a counsellor as well.
    There is nothing wrong with you, you should not be ashamed or angry at yourslef. It was a naive mistake and if he never asked for consent then it is rape. If you asked him to stop and he didn't, it was rape.
    Alot of people shut down because they have never been in the experience before and their body will not react in time. Please get help instead of taking it out on your body. Please do it for yourself.
    • #4
    #4

    Do you have any close friends you can talk to to let out what you're feeling? I'd say you should talk to the Samaritans helpline, at least you can stay anonymous and they can give you proper advice.

    The guy sounds like a f**kboi and you were naive. That's not something you should blame yourself over, you weren't to know. Learn from this and next time be more sure of whether you want to go all the way with a guy.
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    Society has conditioned us as girls to think that sex is something dirty or sacred to be saved for "the one" and that could not be further from the truth imo. Sex is about having fun and being able to connect with someone physically (even if not emotionally). Its **** that the first time you did it, you did not want to do it but it has no effect on your character or who you are as a person. It doesn't make you any less of a person and its a shame that you do feel this way. You should not feel guilty for it either especially since right now there is not much you can do about it but accept it and move forward.

    ALSO I agree with everyone above, go see someone and talk about it!
    • #6
    #6

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I had sex with a guy that I got close to and he's in the same frienship group. I was a virgin and he was my first, the problem is I didnt want to have sex but I didn't say anything to him. That is my fault. I let him do whatever he needed to and this has traumatized me, I can't stop feeling dirty. I am constantly thinking about it and it's making me really depressed to the point that I'm thinking about self harm. I really dont know how to deal with these feelings because I've never been in this position. It's worse because he's talking to his ex and they're going to get together. No matter how many times I wash myself I still feel dirty and I feel like a whore. I really hate myself and I'm feeling very guilty. Can someone please help me.
    It sounds like he took advantage of you and didn't respect your feelings. I understand how you are feeling, but it is somethings that you will need to move on from. I would talk to someone about your feelings, whatever it takes for you to move on. It doesn't seem like it now, but in time your heart will heal and you will meet someone who will respect you and cherishes you. Your first time doesn't have to define you and your life, only if you let it.
    • #7
    #7

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I had sex with a guy that I got close to and he's in the same frienship group. I was a virgin and he was my first, the problem is I didnt want to have sex but I didn't say anything to him. That is my fault. I let him do whatever he needed to and this has traumatized me, I can't stop feeling dirty. I am constantly thinking about it and it's making me really depressed to the point that I'm thinking about self harm. I really dont know how to deal with these feelings because I've never been in this position. It's worse because he's talking to his ex and they're going to get together. No matter how many times I wash myself I still feel dirty and I feel like a whore. I really hate myself and I'm feeling very guilty. Can someone please help me.
    This also happened to me on my first time.

    I was very drunk, high and feeling very low, and a guy that i was good friends with at the time took advantage of that. He didn't rape me, because I didn't tell him to stop, and i think he thought i wanted to do it, but it was a horrible experience as I didn't want to do it. To make matters worse, whenever I saw him at uni afterwards, he ignored me and acted like I didn't exist, even though we'd been good friends before it happened. So yeah, I kind of understand what you're going through.

    It was painful at the time, but I try not to think about the experience. I don't think that everyone's first time is as ideal as people make out, and it's certainly not on you to feel bad about it. Just be more careful in future, don't put yourself in vulnerable situations.
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    thots begone
    • #8
    #8

    get over it? theres nothing else you can do really, whats done is done. next time learn to speak up
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    sh1t happens
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    It seems like you either have self-esteem issues in general or you have issues regarding sex. Were you brought up in a religious/strict household? I know you don't seem keen on The Samaritans, but it may help to talk about your feelings.
 
 
 
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