Hi. I am eighteen years old and I have issues. I have had panic attacks to the extent of panic disorder for nearly seven years. These attacks were doubled since a traumatic experience in hospital where I was in burst appendix level pain for two days straight, and no one believed the extent of pain I was in- after I was given morphine and suffered a reaction to it making my chest numb and I couldnt intake oxygen; was only given aa mask when I was screaming on the floor in the hospital corridor.
Since this experience, my attacks found the association of suffocation and my throat. For some time it stopped me touching people in general, it has stopped me from trying anything new on my skin or food wise due to thinking my throat may close up because of an allergy or sometimes flashbacks. To the extent going into a room that smells different can trigger it... It sounds really stupid but it effects so many mundane aspects of my life.
I have improved with general anxiety but specific really similar situations trigger it mainly new food now and hospitals. But I have this massive drawback in my life because of the attacks taking up so much time.
They have happened the majority of my teenage life so I have missed out on so much. I never got to go on school trips, I never got to stay out late, I couldn't wander around with friends. Most of all I am resentful of the fact I never got to try a relationship, never got to like someone fully, never kissed someone or get that close to people. I have left it all so long that it's near impossible for me to conquer because I get so anxious I could collapse. I tried to 'put myself out there' by trying tinder for a short while and I liked talking to people but as soon as meeting them in person was a possibility I panicked and politely cut it off. I want to have experienced that area of life just slightly because I am depressed at having not, and when I finally get close to I feel such a heightened level of panic I could combust. I can't win whatever I do. I was set up for a date from this but the panic wore so high I fainted and couldn't leave house
I am worried that this will be one of those things I won't be able to get over. I'm also aware of how much of a hassle it could be for anyone who I got involved with. This terrifies me that I will be the one to hold myself back and be alone for a lot of my life, or accept someone who is terrible to me. I wouldn't even tell my close friends this because it seems stupid plus I don't know what they would say other than agree with my thoughts. I don't know what I will achieve talking on this but maybe someone has an unheard of ingenious solution..
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Issues getting in the way of trying a relationship... or just about anything. watch
- Thread Starter
- 10-11-2017 08:07
- Community Assistant
- 10-11-2017 09:36
Are you on any medication to help with this?
- Thread Starter
- 10-11-2017 19:21