I recently started my masters course after taking a year out and I'm not really enjoying it. During my gap year I struggled to find a job and eventually got one where my boss bullied me and I was constantly stressed. I was determined to go back to university to do my post-grad and even had a PhD proposal all set. However now I'm on the course (and quit that job) I feel disappointed. In my undergraduate course I did a lot of the reading and always participated in class, whereas most people weren't that bothered or hadn't done any work. I thought at masters level I'd meet people more like me and so we could have proper discussions and it'd be really engaging. However instead what I'm finding is everyone else is talking and I can't get a word in. Everyone else is also really good at speaking whereas I can't really express myself well verbally, I'm better at writing things down. Whenever I have tried to contribute, I kinda get shot down or told I'm basically wrong. It feels like I'm back at my old job again, where I can't do anything right. I know I have imposter syndrome despite getting a 1st in my degree. But I dont really know what I can do about it (I'm already on anti anxiety medication)
The class is lovely and I dont have an issue with any of the people. But I dont really feel like I fit in. I was close to an old lecturer so emailed them asking if they wanted to grab a coffee and they didnt reply at all. I know they are busy but someone in the class came in late and said theyd just been with that lecturer for a catch up. I felt a bit stupid for reaching out only to be ignored, I know staff are busy but Im shy and introverted but I always make an effort and put myself out there so that rejection was tough to accept. I asked a friend for advice and they basically told me I'm a weirdo and not cool or popular and thats why I dont fit in.... So that didnt really help.
Im not sure what to do...
Loughborough at number one