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    I've been with this lady for almost seven months now. I think i'm just very dense to not have ditched her within the first two weeks.

    She gets angry with every, tiny mistake that I make. If I take a little bit longer to move off at a roundabout she screams "WHY AREN'T YOU MOVING!? YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO GO!!!" She legitimately screams at me for absolutely everything. She will dive over and grab my wrist and swerve the car in a very dangerous way. She also slams the brakes when it's not necessary? Like, once I saw a guy on the road at the crossing and I immediately began slowing down. I would've stopped in good time, but for some reason, like twenty metres from the crossing she suddenly hit the brakes and screamed at me?

    Last week was the first time I tried a manoeuvre (Yes, after seven months). It was the first time I'd ever been in reverse gear, so of course I was a little dodgy. She just kept yelling at me and being really patronising, saying things like "it's just clutch control sweetie, you've done it before" and then she told me to pull over and basically interrogated me for fifteen minutes.

    I feel tears building up behind my eyes almost every single lesson, but this lesson I just couldn't hold it and and burst out crying. What do you know though, the next week she's back to being a b*tch. She also comments on my skin a lot, which makes me self conscious. I have this condition where my skin goes up in hives whenever the temperature goes up (usually when I'm stressed) so while I'm driving, my hands and arms and neck look like they have red welts all over them. Which yes, I get looks kind of gross, but it makes me feel bad that she's commenting on it every time.

    I'm just finding it very hard to deal with. I dread every lesson. But the problem is that I've already booked a test in two months time. Do you think the inconvenience of getting a new instructor is worth it? And also, how do I tell my current instructor that I don't want lessons anymore? Are there any good excuses?
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    (Original post by Anygy)
    I've been with this lady for almost seven months now. I think i'm just very dense to not have ditched her within the first two weeks.

    She gets angry with every, tiny mistake that I make. If I take a little bit longer to move off at a roundabout she screams "WHY AREN'T YOU MOVING!? YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO GO!!!" She legitimately screams at me for absolutely everything. She will dive over and grab my wrist and swerve the car in a very dangerous way. She also slams the brakes when it's not necessary? Like, once I saw a guy on the road at the crossing and I immediately began slowing down. I would've stopped in good time, but for some reason, like twenty metres from the crossing she suddenly hit the brakes and screamed at me?

    Last week was the first time I tried a manoeuvre (Yes, after seven months). It was the first time I'd ever been in reverse gear, so of course I was a little dodgy. She just kept yelling at me and being really patronising, saying things like "it's just clutch control sweetie, you've done it before" and then she told me to pull over and basically interrogated me for fifteen minutes.

    I feel tears building up behind my eyes almost every single lesson, but this lesson I just couldn't hold it and and burst out crying. What do you know though, the next week she's back to being a b*tch.

    I'm just finding it very hard to deal with. I dread every lesson. But the problem is that I've already booked a test in two months time. Do you think the inconvenience of getting a new instructor is worth it? And also, how do I tell my current instructor that I don't want lessons anymore? Are there any good excuses?
    Switch instructor NOW. Do not give this evil witch any more money.

    Good instructors DO NOT scream at pupils for making mistakes.

    You can literally tell her up front, "I hate your teaching style so I am no longer booking lessons with you". You are free to vote with your feet.
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    I've had similar experiences with past instructors and although you have a test booked soon, I'd recommend switching instructors. You can always reschedule your test. I don't think it will cost anything to change the date since its still months away. If you are so anxious and stressed with lessons, its not a good mindset to have before your test when you are already going to be nervous anyway. Lessons aren't going to stick as well as they should if you are so stressed, which is no wonder with this instructor.

    I used to dread lessons with my old instructor too. I would cry before and after my lessons. I tried to grin and bear it but in the end, I just text him and said I had found an instructor who specialised with nervous drivers and I think I would be better suited with them and I thanked the instructor for all the lessons we had done together and wished him well. All I got as a reply was "OK".
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    Sounds like you are overly emotional.

    So it's not only the first time you attempt a manoeuvre, but also the first time you are reversing and you are getting upset that she gave you useful advice about clutch control and giving you encouragement saying you've used that skill before.
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    (Original post by UniWasEz)
    Sounds like you are overly emotional.

    So it's not only the first time you attempt a manoeuvre, but also the first time you are reversing and you are getting upset that she gave you useful advice about clutch control and giving you encouragement saying you've used that skill before.
    Honestly, I wouldn't say that mocking me and screaming at me during my first attempt at something is in any way "useful advice" or "encouragement." I think that sentence may have been a bit misleading; when she calls me things like "sweetheart" you can immediately tell that she doesn't mean it in a nice way.

    On that note, I also wanted to add that she is quite a mediocre teacher. She never explains anything. I remember during my very first lesson, when I hardly knew what the clutch even was, I asked her when I should push it down when approaching a junction and all she said was "just do what the road tells you" and so of course as a learner driver, I ended up stalling (and got yelled at).
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    (Original post by Rum Ham)
    I've had similar experiences with past instructors and although you have a test booked soon, I'd recommend switching instructors. You can always reschedule your test. I don't think it will cost anything to change the date since its still months away. If you are so anxious and stressed with lessons, its not a good mindset to have before your test when you are already going to be nervous anyway. Lessons aren't going to stick as well as they should if you are so stressed, which is no wonder with this instructor.

    I used to dread lessons with my old instructor too. I would cry before and after my lessons. I tried to grin and bear it but in the end, I just text him and said I had found an instructor who specialised with nervous drivers and I think I would be better suited with them and I thanked the instructor for all the lessons we had done together and wished him well. All I got as a reply was "OK".
    Thank you, I definitely think I'll have to reschedule my test, which is annoying, but I don't think I can deal with this instructor any longer.
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    Sounds like you should change driving instructors, it doesn't normally take 7 months to start manoeuvres and seems like her way of teaching doesn't suit you.
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    (Original post by UniWasEz)
    Sounds like you are overly emotional.

    So it's not only the first time you attempt a manoeuvre, but also the first time you are reversing and you are getting upset that she gave you useful advice about clutch control and giving you encouragement saying you've used that skill before.
    feel like you’re probably trolling but if not, do you realise how patronising being called ‘sweetie’ is? She’s being nasty and sarcastic not encouraging
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    definitely switch driving instructors!
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    No instructor should ever yell at a pupil for any reason. The only time I think I can ever justify it would be if, as a pupil you knowingly try and do something stupid and dangerous (something that would constitute dangerous driving if you were qualified)
    Christ, I was going way too fast for a corner on a country road once and my instructor had to slam on the brakes as there was someone walking up the verge, then I was still doing 40 into a 30 zone and almost went onto the complete opposite side of the road as the corner was a lot sharper than I was expecting and my instructor didn't raise his voice once, we simply pulled over to talk about what happened and what was going through my head at the time

    Seriously, change instructors
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    ayy just as a little update, I finally made up some excuse and quit with her. It was awkward, but hey, I am feeling a lot better. I'm meeting my new instructor in a few weeks time! Thanks for all the advice!!
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    My instructor used to occasionally talk with a sense of urgency "Stay. In. Your. Lane!" "Get it moving!" "What are you doing that for?" but he was the nicest guy with 30 years experience and multiple passes (including mine now) and I came to understand it was his disappointment with my mistakes that at the stage of driving we were at - I should not have been making.

    However in your case; I would not have accepted being consistently screamed at. If you are not comfortable with your instructor you quit; no matter what. End of the day you're paying over £100 a month for a service ie lessons; if you're not satisfied; you treat it the same way you'd treat any other service.

    Good luck with your new instructor; keep us posted!
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    Switch instructors and cancel your test, so you can re-book it later.
 
 
 
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