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Girlfriend doesn’t discuss anything when she’s upset watch

    • #1
    • Thread Starter

    I’ve been with my gf for about a year and still her first reaction when she gets upset or disagrees on anything is not to talk to but to just shut me out.

    Just now we were Skyping and having a conversation about whether a particular phrase was weird to say. To prove a point she went to this corpus thing to find it, and it wasn’t it there. I had a bit of laugh and said how can it have 98 million words and not this simple phrase. She then accused me of insulting her degree (she has a joke daily that it’s a bit of a breeze) then just shuts me off.

    It’s a long example I know, but it just seems so unnecessary... I apologised and said I thought we were just having a laugh. It’s jusf little things like this that make me wonder why is her first action to run away rather than communicate...

    What you need to do is talk to her about this. Find a time in which she is the most relaxed and willing to talk to you, and bring it up in a non-confrontational manner to her. Tell her that you feel isolated and upset when she shuts you out and that you'd feel much better if you both could have dialogue regarding each other's issues, and that you feel this would be a much healthier and sustainable way of dealing with such issues.
    • Community Assistant

    Community Assistant
    I can be the same with my boyfriend. We're in different time zones, meaning he falls asleep on me a lot and it really annoys me. So when he wakes up I'm really short, one-word answers for a few hours. I normally need a break from talking to him, like when I go to sleep that night, for my head to be clear and my feelings to calm down and then I'm back to normal. It's just my way of dealing with it. I'd rather have space for a few hours than say things I'll regret.
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