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Other students are achieving more than me, it makes me feel worse about myself watch

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    I study nursing/healhcare and finished a placement 2 weeks ago. Ive had 4placements up to now and dont do that well on them. They are graded and Ive never got above 57 percent. I do better on assisgnments ive always been better at writing than real life work. Im quiet and i think i lack common sense/confidence. This isnt an experienc ething as im in my late twenties and have completed a preious work related degree. On 3 placements they have said i need to appear more confident. I think i come across as dopy and one staff member asked if i had dyslexia as it always took me ages to find some patients notes even hough they were in alphabetical order. I was also unable to deal with a phone call well because i didnt know how to do something on a computor despite being shown. The person on the phone reported it to my educator.

    Its as though information isnt clear in my head. To tackle this i started writing most things down and to try to learn organise information in my head, i thought this would make me feel more confident too. I feel better if i have like a logical sequence to things in my head. On my lastplacement though she said that i needed to stip using a tick box apprach and to use more clinical reasoning, something i apparantly struggled with. I receievdd a verbal warning for forgetting to put a patients shoes on before walking them! Simple thing i miss and dont notice! It was only a one off incident though. i was also planning what to say too much she said i was planning 'exact words' and 'phrases' when i troducing myself to patients lol. I think she saw me as very dopy and i only got 45 percent/mark for tha placement. She said there were things shed been over several times and would have expected me to grasp. Its just knocked my confidence at being able to work as a qualified.

    I do feel placements are very hard. Ive only mentioned the negatives above at my last placement staff said my communication was good, that i was conscientious and handled patients well.

    However the thing tha botheres me most is everyone else seems to do better. They are postingo. Facebook saying they got 70 percent firsts almost everyone i know has got a first. It is supposed to be easier to get better marks on placement than academic writing but with me its the opposite. I was originally happy that i passed but themore people i see who are happy they got very high scores the more i worry that im not capable of doing the job and that im not able to perform as well as them. I feel i put lots of effort into placements. Ive been reading up on stuff most days up till midnight yet didnt get op score for managing my own learning. They said i should have brought the stuff i was reading in to let them know i was doing it but throughout the placementi was telling them whative read. I feel its like a game wherei have to act and im no good at the game.
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