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Never Been Kissed!

Okay, so I was 18 in December and I'm still at school in Year 13. Anyway, I've never had a proper boyfriend or actually even had boys as close friends, and I've never been kissed! This might have something to do with the fact that since an early age I've been at an all girls school and don't do any activities like sports or anything outside of school so I don't really meet them that often.

Due to all this, I have zero confidence around boys whenever I am around them (if I go out clubbing with my friends or to a party or something) and can't talk to them at all! I really don't know how to get over this. Around girls of any age or men of about 30+ I'm really confident and I'm myself, but I'm so shy around boys my age. Also, I can't really make myself think of them as possible friends, which makes me even more nervous.

I'd really like to get over all this before university as obviously most people socialise in mixed groups and I'd love to have more confidence. Also, I feel a bit of a freak because of the whole never having had a boyfriend/never having ever been kissed thing and that does NOTHING for my self-esteem!

Reply 1

Hedger

13

You should take a few of your girlyfriends to an Under-18 club, seriously, those places are like brothels.

Reply 2

gumbald

6

Just talk to people, what have you got to lose :smile:

People aren't that scary. I love talking to strangers.

Reply 3

death.drop

16

a technique that often works for me when i'm in a situation i'm not comfortable in (like you being around guys your own age) and that is recommended by a lot of professionals is to pretend to yourself that you are perfectly happy and confident in the situation. the idea is that the more you think it the more you should internalise it. it should help you to gain confidence.
it's all about outlook, if you go in to something petrified then it's less likely to turn out well for you than if you go in knowing you can handle it.

second maybe try having a drink or two...things are often easier when we're a bit tipsy as we dont have as many inhibitions etc. properly relaxing around guys your own age even once should show you that it's not as difficult as you thought and make it easier in the future.

Reply 4

gumbald

6

Get a friend with male friends to organise some kind of outing. Like bowling. For lots of people. Let them come to you.

Reply 5

Hedger

13

Oh, and darn it, I'd recommend a book called: 'The Game' if you were a Dude. But hey... your female, just take a gander anyway :p:

Reply 6

stanmoor

11

Guys really aren't that scary...they're the same as girls essentially. I went to an all boys school and have loads of girl mates..just give them banter!

Reply 7

Danielle89

14

get drunk, start dancing, wait until a guy starts dancing with you, encourage him by dancing closer and closer to him and when the time's right, smooch!

*shrugs* worked for me anyway, not likely to get a boyfriend out of it mind...

Reply 8

cutandpasteandtwisty

11

It's so much easier for girls to pull guys than vice versa. If a girl approaches a guy, providing he is single and the girl isn't hideously ugly, he is very unlikely to reject her. For guys approaching girls, it's the polar opposite; girls will reject a random accost more often than not - hence the need for guys to 'play the field', as it were, in bars/clubs.
My advice? Approach more guys when out. We're not all monsters, and the odds are stacked in your favour.

Reply 9

Hedger

13

cutandpasteandtwisty

It's so much easier for girls to pull guys than vice versa. If a girl approaches a guy, providing he is single and the girl isn't hideously ugly, he is very unlikely to reject her. For guys approaching girls, it's the polar opposite; girls are more likely to reject an approach - hence the need for guys to 'play the field', as it were, in bars/clubs.
My advice? Approach more guys when out. We're not all monsters, and the odds are stacked in your favour.

****in' double standards.

Reply 10

Danielle89

14

i dont agree with cutandpaste's post at all - but maybe thats just me liking to have a good old shindig with a guy in a club :biggrin:

Reply 11

madima

Anonymous

Okay, so I was 18 in December and I'm still at school in Year 13. Anyway, I've never had a proper boyfriend or actually even had boys as close friends, and I've never been kissed! This might have something to do with the fact that since an early age I've been at an all girls school and don't do any activities like sports or anything outside of school so I don't really meet them that often.

Due to all this, I have zero confidence around boys whenever I am around them (if I go out clubbing with my friends or to a party or something) and can't talk to them at all! I really don't know how to get over this. Around girls of any age or men of about 30+ I'm really confident and I'm myself, but I'm so shy around boys my age. Also, I can't really make myself think of them as possible friends, which makes me even more nervous.

I'd really like to get over all this before university as obviously most people socialise in mixed groups and I'd love to have more confidence. Also, I feel a bit of a freak because of the whole never having had a boyfriend/never having ever been kissed thing and that does NOTHING for my self-esteem!

i can help you if you live in london :rolleyes:

...

Reply 12

Bear_Grylls

19

You'll be fine when you start uni, just try to be bit more confident have a few drinks and youll be fine.

Reply 13

m i l o

1

I don't think there is any reason why you should worry. It will come eventually, and when it does it is going to be extremely special. Wait for the right time when you're feeling confident within yourself and the wait will certainly have been worth while!

Reply 14

Dimez

14

gumbald

Just talk to people, what have you got to lose :smile:

People aren't that scary. I love talking to strangers.

'Tis is a shame that love isn't recripocated. :frown:

Reply 15

love2learn

4

loadmalz

Oh, and darn it, I'd recommend a book called: 'The Game' if you were a Dude. But hey... your female, just take a gander anyway :p:

Oh please don't. That book got passed between a few of my guy friends. One took it seriously. It wasn't good. :rolleyes:

Reply 16

Hedger

13

love2learn

Oh please don't. That book got passed between a few of my guy friends. One took it seriously. It wasn't good. :rolleyes:

It's a pretty funny book and teaches you the truth. Would help any guy who doesn't have the guts to approach someone! In this case a girl haha :p:

Reply 17

Spudder

2

If you are not bothered at all, whatsoever, what you want is to get quite drunk and land on a guy, they won't be bothered at all.

If you are looking for something special, don't follow that advice at all.

Reply 18

qubog

12

Don't worry there was a girl on here the other day who had never been kissed before and she was 20. So there are others in the same boat :smile:

Reply 19

mollymustard

14

Firstly, don't worry! You probably feel like the only 18 year old who has never been kissed but this isn't the case. I know lots of girls who are in Year 13 (at a mixed school) and havn't yet. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you.

I can imagine it is very hard meeting guys when you are at an all girls school but just take all the opportunities which are handed to you to go to parties etc and mix with guys.
It is difficult being what I call 'guy-shy' to be honest I was and still am a bit.
Once you've kissed someone once, you will begin to feel more confident around guys and just in general.

I don't recommend getting out of your face, but having a few drinks to loosen you up and having a good dance will relax you a bit when you go out.

I'm sure there must be lots of girls from your college who want to meet guys! Why don't you all make a night of it and go to a bar in your local area. I'm sure you will be getting to know people in no time.

Practise makes perfect when it comes to chatting with guys, and even making friends with them. Don't worry about it too much just go for it!

Never Been Kissed!

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