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In my 20s and ready for first relationship Watch

    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    I've not had a relationship before or done anything past holding hands but I'd like to meet someone in person, not through any online dating app or website. I'm out of university and I don't really have a lot of friends or know any boys that I'm attracted to. The kind of boys I'm attracted to usually go for girls a lot more attractive than me.

    I think I'm average in attractiveness and personality and I'm quite emotionally mature and stable but I'm a little shy and awkward and my confidence isn't the best. I'm really not into meeting someone online.

    Tips?
    • Community Assistant
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    You could try online dating, joining clubs based on your interests, through work/education, through your network and by going out.

    I hope this helps:

    1) Relax, imagine you're just observing or there as a traveller. For example, if you are on holiday, you go there to experience and observe the attraction, you're not going to get anxious doing that are you?

    2) Smile, smiling in contagious.

    3) Be confident, respect yourself, accept yourself, work out, wear good clothes, feel good, focus on your passions, know you are a good person who treats people well, think positively, be proud of yourself, do things that make you happy, remember your happy times, what makes you confident? What makes you proud? Do you have a skill you are good at? Do things like cooking, driving, learning that increases your confidence daily. Relax.

    Have good posture, body language, improve your appearance. Be happy with yourself.

    4) Dress well, have good grooming, hairstyle, have good posture.

    5) Just say hi or hey to people in your vicinity, who cares if they don't say anything back?

    6) Ask how they are, how are they keeping, how's everything, what's the latest, what made them choose this course, their plans for the future, their plans for the rest of the day, weekend, how was their weekend, what they will get up to, what they got up to, ask them about their hobbies, talk about what's happening.

    Talk about the weather or did you see that sports game? Just mingle with them,

    Compliment them, say "I like your jacket".

    If you know they went on a holiday or somewhere, ask them about it etc.

    7) Be passionate about life.

    8) Lighten up, have a laugh, laugh easily, be friendly, approachable, interested, relaxed.

    9) Look outside!
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    Fine... where do you want to meet up?
    • #2
    #2

    *Send bob*
    *send vagene*


    Spoiler:
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    Being emotionally stable and mature is a huge plus point for you. Probs the most important thing in a relationship is to be able to control your emotions.
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    Try to engage in more social activities or clubs and societies in your area. This is a great way to meet new people and could potentially get you a partner. But dont go out of the way because it is only worth it if the guy youre interested in makes the effort to be with you. It is good to try your best to meet/ see him as often as possible so he knows you are interested, but once he has realised he should be the one who makes the effort to see you. I've seen too many one-sided relationships to not know the outcomes :/
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    *Send bob*
    *send vagene*


    Spoiler:
    Show





    Being emotionally stable and mature is a huge plus point for you. Probs the most important thing in a relationship is to be able to control your emotions.




    Hi I'm OP, I made this post on Anon before I decided to post it properly. So now I have two threads! Oops. No reason to be Anon, nobody knows me here. I actually consider myself quite emotional, but I''m quite proud of the maturity I've built over the years that some may not have going into their first relationships. It might not be everything I need but it's a start.

    (Original post by TaintedLight)
    Fine... where do you want to meet up?
    Back of Maccies?

    (Original post by Yifan Shen)
    Try to engage in more social activities or clubs and societies in your area. This is a great way to meet new people and could potentially get you a partner. But dont go out of the way because it is only worth it if the guy youre interested in makes the effort to be with you. It is good to try your best to meet/ see him as often as possible so he knows you are interested, but once he has realised he should be the one who makes the effort to see you. I've seen too many one-sided relationships to not know the outcomes :/
    Thank you for the advice

    (Original post by Analyst89)
    You could try online dating, joining clubs based on your interests, through work/education, through your network and by going out.

    I hope this helps:

    1) Relax, imagine you're just observing or there as a traveller. For example, if you are on holiday, you go there to experience and observe the attraction, you're not going to get anxious doing that are you?

    2) Smile, smiling in contagious.

    3) Be confident, respect yourself, accept yourself, work out, wear good clothes, feel good, focus on your passions, know you are a good person who treats people well, think positively, be proud of yourself, do things that make you happy, remember your happy times, what makes you confident? What makes you proud? Do you have a skill you are good at? Do things like cooking, driving, learning that increases your confidence daily. Relax.

    Have good posture, body language, improve your appearance. Be happy with yourself.

    4) Dress well, have good grooming, hairstyle, have good posture.

    5) Just say hi or hey to people in your vicinity, who cares if they don't say anything back?

    6) Ask how they are, how are they keeping, how's everything, what's the latest, what made them choose this course, their plans for the future, their plans for the rest of the day, weekend, how was their weekend, what they will get up to, what they got up to, ask them about their hobbies, talk about what's happening.

    Talk about the weather or did you see that sports game? Just mingle with them,

    Compliment them, say "I like your jacket".

    If you know they went on a holiday or somewhere, ask them about it etc.

    7) Be passionate about life.

    8) Lighten up, have a laugh, laugh easily, be friendly, approachable, interested, relaxed.

    9) Look outside!
    Thanks for the tips. You're very optimistic I am consistently improving myself and I'm quite happy with my appearance when I do put in the effort. I haven't really had much issue with attracting boys before, but I never seem to click with an of them and sometimes they show me attention for more shallow / casual reasons which manifest after a while and I'm not interested in that. I do need to work on being more fearless in verbal communication though.
 
 
 
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