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Is it wrong to activally avoid a flatmate? She makes me uncomfortable. Watch

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    I live in halls with 4 international girls. I am the only British student. Generally we are a harmonious household with no major fights so far, I am not best friends with my flatmates but we get along and we sometimes hang out. However I am starting to have a problem with one of the girls. I liked her at first, in fact she was one of the flatmates I spent the most time with initially but the more I am getting to know her the less I like her.

    She can be condescending, rude, b*tchy and judgemental. When she is drunk these charming aspects of her personality are amplified. I don't enjoy drinking with her because she acts obnoxious and criticises everyone. She just says whatever is on her mind without thinking about people's feelings. The way she talks about people behind their backs makes me wonder what she says about me. Last weekend I was 99% certain she started talking about me with her friends the second I left the kitchen.

    She also talks down to me like I am a child sometimes. I often cook late at night just to avoid running into her in the kitchen so I don't have to deal with snooty remarks like "Is that seriously what you're having for dinner?" or "That's not how to make fajitas". I know it sounds like I am being overly sensitive but these remarks are constant and I am sick of it. I just want to eat without her judging how I cook. I feel her eyes watching my every move with this hostile curiosity that I don't understand. She seems to enjoy pointing out how certain things that I do that are 'weird' and as a result I feel self conscious.

    But overall we have to live together all year so I don't want to create a hostile environment by arguing. Maybe it is just a phase of disliking her that will pass but these past few weekends she has angered or upset me while drunk. She is not a friend. I feel like she tries to exclude me. When I am with her and this one other flatmate, I feel like a third wheel. She is constantly clinging to her and making plans with her (that don't include me) right in front of me. I have reached a point now where I don't care about having a close friendship with them, I have all the friends I need outside of this flat but it would be nice if we could be at least be acquaintances considering we have to live together. I feel like avoiding her is rude. I have strategically managed to avoid seeing her for 3 whole days and she is bound to notice.

    I guess this is more of a rant than a question but if anyone has any similar experiences of avoiding a flatmate you dislike I'd love to hear it and know I am not alone. Or if anyone has any coping strategies? Or just more ranting is fine too.
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    meh its fine.

    I had 2 international students in my first halls aswell, they dont really socialise with others and can be awkward when you go to the shared kitchen and there are like 10 random people sitting around
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I live in halls with 4 international girls. I am the only British student. Generally we are a harmonious household with no major fights so far, I am not best friends with my flatmates but we get along and we sometimes hang out. However I am starting to have a problem with one of the girls. I liked her at first, in fact she was one of the flatmates I spent the most time with initially but the more I am getting to know her the less I like her.

    She can be condescending, rude, b*tchy and judgemental. When she is drunk these charming aspects of her personality are amplified. I don't enjoy drinking with her because she acts obnoxious and criticises everyone. She just says whatever is on her mind without thinking about people's feelings. The way she talks about people behind their backs makes me wonder what she says about me. Last weekend I was 99% certain she started talking about me with her friends the second I left the kitchen.

    She also talks down to me like I am a child sometimes. I often cook late at night just to avoid running into her in the kitchen so I don't have to deal with snooty remarks like "Is that seriously what you're having for dinner?" or "That's not how to make fajitas". I know it sounds like I am being overly sensitive but these remarks are constant and I am sick of it. I just want to eat without her judging how I cook. I feel her eyes watching my every move with this hostile curiosity that I don't understand. She seems to enjoy pointing out how certain things that I do that are 'weird' and as a result I feel self conscious.

    But overall we have to live together all year so I don't want to create a hostile environment by arguing. Maybe it is just a phase of disliking her that will pass but these past few weekends she has angered or upset me while drunk. She is not a friend. I feel like she tries to exclude me. When I am with her and this one other flatmate, I feel like a third wheel. She is constantly clinging to her and making plans with her (that don't include me) right in front of me. I have reached a point now where I don't care about having a close friendship with them, I have all the friends I need outside of this flat but it would be nice if we could be at least be acquaintances considering we have to live together. I feel like avoiding her is rude. I have strategically managed to avoid seeing her for 3 whole days and she is bound to notice.

    I guess this is more of a rant than a question but if anyone has any similar experiences of avoiding a flatmate you dislike I'd love to hear it and know I am not alone. Or if anyone has any coping strategies? Or just more ranting is fine too.
    I am in a flat of 6, 3 guys, 3 girls. One of them is a problem flatmate. As I write this at almost 1am and an early morning lecture looming, they are sitting in the kitchen loudly laughing with other friends, whom they often brings over for full dinner parties and movie marathons without warning. We also have an issue with the food thing, with 1 of my flatmates eating some days at 5pm just to avoid them, but even then they are judged by anyone that appears. All I can say is the only light at the end of the tunnel is that you don't have to live with them next year; thats all Im holding onto.
 
 
 
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