Coming out in year 11?

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8Hollee
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Do you think it's wise to come out as non binary and pansexual before my gcses? I'm ready and i want people to know, but if people dont accept me i dont want to be miserable through my gcse year and prom. Advice and opinions? :]
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wysterialane
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Personally I wouldn't- what's the rush? But if you're ready and want people to know so you can feel yourself then go for it. I'm totally in the closet though and have been for years so maybe I'm not the best to ask lol
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jonjoshelvey21
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wtf is non binary and pansexual
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8Hollee
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yeah i guess so. My family know and a couple of close friends but i dont really like holding things in. I will probs do it in collage! Sorry to hear you're in the closet, do you think people will be accepting of you?
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8Hollee
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(Original post by jonjoshelvey21)
wtf is non binary and pansexual
non binary: not identifying as a male or female
pansexual: able to be attracted to all genders and sex.
Youre better off googling it!
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wysterialane
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(Original post by 8Hollee)
yeah i guess so. My family know and a couple of close friends but i dont really like holding things in. I will probs do it in collage! Sorry to hear you're in the closet, do you think people will be accepting of you?
Well.if you're already out privately then it doesn't really matter about school imo. If I were you just be honest if someone asks but no one else really needs to kmow. I have a weird situation where I kmow everyone would be accepting and supportive I just choose not to. It's my private life and I just don't choose to tell most people. Some friends know and family will do soon.
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jonjoshelvey21
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(Original post by 8Hollee)
non binary: not identifying as a male or female
pansexual: able to be attracted to all genders and sex.
Youre better off googling it!
how tf can you not identify as a male or female
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Snoozinghamster
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(Original post by 8Hollee)
Do you think it's wise to come out as non binary and pansexual before my gcses? I'm ready and i want people to know, but if people dont accept me i dont want to be miserable through my gcse year and prom. Advice and opinions? :]
It can be easier coming out to a few people to start with - namely those who are most supportive- as they can help if others are less than supportive.
This is especially the case with coming out as non binary if you want to change your name or pronouns. As it can be demoralising to be misgendered even though you can’t blame people if they don’t know.
Do be careful though as it’s not worth the stress of your family being unsupportive just yet.
You don’t need to be out to be you.

Good luck whatever you decide
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elsisaac
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I came out in year 11 as a lesbian. It went fine for me. Nobody really cared, and not in a mean way. Just because its extremely trivial. It's literally no rush at all.
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Fighter365
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I came out as gay in year 10 and most 90% of people didn’t care 10% of people were homo
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AlwaysBroke.
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Come out after prom, in the year above there was some non-binary guy who got abused and bullied savagely. I think they wanted to make him both Prom King and Queen as a joke, idk if they were successful. Do what you think is best, but think logically rather than with your emotions-sadly our emotions can either lead us to a better solution, or a more worse situation. Mostly depends on your school and reputation-lots of people in my grammar school are quite stuck up, but I do know some gay guys that are really quiet/introverted and so were kinda ignored
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Fighter365
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(Original post by Fighter365)
I came out as gay in year 10 and most 90% of people didn’t care 10% of people were homo
Homophobic and talked about me behind my back. But I eventually didn’t care because I ended up succeeding while they failed school and I’m a strong person. At the end of the day you need to consider whether you will think you’ll be alright to come out. Only you know deep down
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8Hollee
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(Original post by Snoozinghamster)
It can be easier coming out to a few people to start with - namely those who are most supportive- as they can help if others are less than supportive.
This is especially the case with coming out as non binary if you want to change your name or pronouns. As it can be demoralising to be misgendered even though you can’t blame people if they don’t know.
Do be careful though as it’s not worth the stress of your family being unsupportive just yet.
You don’t need to be out to be you.

Good luck whatever you decide
Thanks for your support and i completley agree. i think it is going to be more of a journey!
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8Hollee
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(Original post by Fighter365)
Homophobic and talked about me behind my back. But I eventually didn’t care because I ended up succeeding while they failed school and I’m a strong person. At the end of the day you need to consider whether you will think you’ll be alright to come out. Only you know deep down
Sorry to hear that but its really good that youre so strong, i fear that i might be too sensitive!!
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8Hollee
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(Original post by mc_miah)
Come out after prom, in the year above there was some non-binary guy who got abused and bullied savagely. I think they wanted to make him both Prom King and Queen as a joke, idk if they were successful. Do what you think is best, but think logically rather than with your emotions-sadly our emotions can either lead us to a better solution, or a more worse situation. Mostly depends on your school and reputation-lots of people in my grammar school are quite stuck up, but I do know some gay guys that are really quiet/introverted and so were kinda ignored
Yeah im scared of this, and will probably just tell some more friends until afterwards. I might do something for pansexual pride tho?!??!
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Fighter365
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(Original post by 8Hollee)
Sorry to hear that but its really good that youre so strong, i fear that i might be too sensitive!!
Thanks! If I were you I would start of telling a couple of friends you trust (if you haven’t already) then as more friends accept you for who you are it will boost your confidence massively (hopefully!)
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8Hollee
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(Original post by jonjoshelvey21)
how tf can you not identify as a male or female
get into the fluidity of gender my friend. If youre actually interested in the topic then i would google around!
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8Hollee
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(Original post by wysterialane)
Well.if you're already out privately then it doesn't really matter about school imo. If I were you just be honest if someone asks but no one else really needs to kmow. I have a weird situation where I kmow everyone would be accepting and supportive I just choose not to. It's my private life and I just don't choose to tell most people. Some friends know and family will do soon.
thats fair enough and it is absolutley your choice!!
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8Hollee
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(Original post by MonicaD)
Go ahead! Don't be scared! It's your choice. I would say do what you think is best and most importantly you shouldn't care about what others have to say.
Aw thankyou, i think it would make me happier if i was out but i think its going to be a gradual process!
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angelofessence
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(Original post by 8Hollee)
Do you think it's wise to come out as non binary and pansexual before my gcses? I'm ready and i want people to know, but if people dont accept me i dont want to be miserable through my gcse year and prom. Advice and opinions? :]
My advice. DON'T!!!! I decided to come out when year 11 finished and it was one of the few best decisions I made at that age, honest to christ you will get butchered and crucified if you do so now. I know how cruel that sounds but it's year 11 and a lot of people in that year still haven't experienced the real world and will still have childish mindsets and very disgusting ways of thinking that they haven't yet grown out of.

Trust me on this one please for you're own safety and mental wellbeing don't! People are a lot more accepting and free thinking in college and sixth form because it's seen as a step up from the childishness of secondary school. Please message me if you're even still considering doing this whilst you're still in year 11 because I really don't think you should just simply based upon what happened to someone in my year who did. Take care and look out for yourself, big love OP.
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