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My dad calls me a bad person for working hard at doing well watch

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    I think the comment about sitting watching TV says a lot.

    Nobody ever says on their deathbed that they'd wished they'd worked harder. A lot of people lament missed opportunities with their family. Maybe your Dad wants to see a bit more of a family-work balance rather than a work-work balance. He might just be worried about you working too much and placing so much emphasis on doing well and it's manifesting in a negative way.

    The only way you're gonna get to the bottom of this is to talk to him and your Ma, hard as that might be. It would be worth speaking to your Mam about it, she will have some idea of why he is being the way he is. Try not to be too quick to write off your aul fella, no matter how frustrating he is.
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    (Original post by gjd800)
    I think the comment about sitting watching TV says a lot.

    Nobody ever says on their deathbed that they'd wished they'd worked harder. A lot of people lament missed opportunities with their family. Maybe your Dad wants to see a bit more of a family-work balance rather than a work-work balance. He might just be worried about you working too much and placing so much emphasis on doing well and it's manifesting in a negative way.

    The only way you're gonna get to the bottom of this is to talk to him and your Ma, hard as that might be. It would be worth speaking to your Mam about it, she will have some idea of why he is being the way he is. Try not to be too quick to write off your aul fella, no matter how frustrating he is.
    I think you're right to some extent. I think that maybe because I have Asperger's it makes me less inclined to do those kinds of family things (not saying that's a good thing) and I tend to become hyper-focused on things that interest me - it's like if I have an idea about something I'm really interested in then I desperately want to write it down and look further into it.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I think you're right to some extent. I think that maybe because I have Asperger's it makes me less inclined to do those kinds of family things (not saying that's a good thing) and I tend to become hyper-focused on things that interest me - it's like if I have an idea about something I'm really interested in then I desperately want to write it down and look further into it.
    That's completely understandable. Maybe you both need to strike a balance on this stuff. From what you've said, your Dad can be a little hot headed (mine too!), but having a natter with him about this where you try your best not to get wound up (that'll just wind him up, too) might sort all this out. I'm 90% sure he doesn't want you to be feeling this way about this situation, at least. If you can;t talk to him you should definitely try and talk to your Mum about it. maybe she can mediate and yous can get sorted
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Basically as title says really. I just don't get how me working in my room where it is quieter and where I am best able to focus is such a bad thing.

    Not only does he say that, but also tells me that I think I know better than everyone else, even though I make a concerted effort to explain how different people are talented at different things and that this is a good thing.

    He also tells me that I think that anyone not in a russell group university (particularly Oxbridge since he thinks that everyone who goes there are terrible people only concerned about being smarter than everyone else and of course, must be from a wealthy background despite me trying to show him the statistics that suggest otherwise and the increased emphasis on trying to increase access to education for less wealthy people and ethnic minorities) is a piece of **** for some reason. Again, I have told him otherwise and pointed out the obvious which is that a lot of gifted individuals don't get offers at Oxbridge.

    Mostly a rant, but also wondering what anyone else thinks. Am I really a selfish person, or just driven to do the best I can (as I think I am)?

    I really can't see what is wrong with not saying very much to people - hardly provides much opportunity to offend...
    This is a pretty incoherent ramble. I have no idea what you're trying to get across.

    It's not clear what you have or have not been saying or what your dad has or has not been saying.
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    (Original post by Trinculo)
    This is a pretty incoherent ramble. I have no idea what you're trying to get across.

    It's not clear what you have or have not been saying or what your dad has or has not been saying.
    1) I work a lot of hours in order to do well at school

    2) My Dad complains at me for this because it is somehow not appreciative of me to try and make the most out of the money he has invested in my education.

    3) He argues with me about certain topics that he knows I am particularly knowledgeable about and then he gets annoyed when I tell him that what he's saying isn't true.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    1) I work a lot of hours in order to do well at school

    2) My Dad complains at me for this because it is somehow not appreciative of me to try and make the most out of the money he has invested in my education.

    3) He argues with me about certain topics that he knows I am particularly knowledgeable about and then he gets annoyed when I tell him that what he's saying isn't true.
    Yeah, well, you do sound like a massive bell tbh.
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    (Original post by Trinculo)
    Yeah, well, you do sound like a massive bell tbh.
    And how exactly would you know? You've gone from not understanding what I'm saying to being 100% certain that I am a "bell" from like 3 sentences of what I said. How can that possibly represent the entirety of my character?

    Also, you don't know what my family life is like with any degree of accuracy, so why you're being so abrasive towards me, I really do not know.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    And how exactly would you know? You've gone from not understanding what I'm saying to being 100% certain that I am a "bell" from like 3 sentences of what I said. How can that possibly represent the entirety of my character?

    Also, you don't know what my family life is like with any degree of accuracy, so why you're being so abrasive towards me, I really do not know.
    There you go - case in point.

    Read back everything you've written in this thread - you come across as really quite arrogant and spoilt.

    You asked for opinions and there it is.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Basically as title says really. I just don't get how me working in my room where it is quieter and where I am best able to focus is such a bad thing.

    Not only does he say that, but also tells me that I think I know better than everyone else, even though I make a concerted effort to explain how different people are talented at different things and that this is a good thing.

    He also tells me that I think that anyone not in a russell group university (particularly Oxbridge since he thinks that everyone who goes there are terrible people only concerned about being smarter than everyone else and of course, must be from a wealthy background despite me trying to show him the statistics that suggest otherwise and the increased emphasis on trying to increase access to education for less wealthy people and ethnic minorities) is a piece of **** for some reason. Again, I have told him otherwise and pointed out the obvious which is that a lot of gifted individuals don't get offers at Oxbridge.

    Mostly a rant, but also wondering what anyone else thinks. Am I really a selfish person, or just driven to do the best I can (as I think I am)?

    I really can't see what is wrong with not saying very much to people - hardly provides much opportunity to offend...
    Is he white?

    Bet he's a non achiever. Kick him in the *******s.

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    (Original post by Trinculo)
    There you go - case in point.

    Read back everything you've written in this thread - you come across as really quite arrogant and spoilt.

    You asked for opinions and there it is.
    Yeah, I asked for opinions - doesn't mean that they can't be laid out with clear logic.

    I really do not understand how me working to try make the most of what I have is being 'spoilt'. I thought the whole idea of 'being spoilt' is that kids come to expect things from doing nothing, but what I'm telling you is that opposite of that (atleast that's how I see it).
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Yeah, I asked for opinions - doesn't mean that they can't be laid out with clear logic.

    I really do not understand how me working to try make the most of what I have is being 'spoilt'. I thought the whole idea of 'being spoilt' is that kids come to expect things from doing nothing, but what I'm telling you is that opposite of that (atleast that's how I see it).
    It's pretty obvious to me. You're arguing with your dad like some kind of neckbeard on TSR, and your choice of words in these posts seems to support that. You're talking about countering his points and logic - it all suggests someone who thinks they're a lot smarter than they actually are and who is entirely taken up with an image of their own intellect.

    Let me ask you 3 questions:

    1. What do you think about non-RG universities?
    2. How do you feel about faith schools?
    3. Would you consider reading Classical Greek or Ancient History as a degree subject?
 
 
 
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