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My first draft. What do you think?

Hi, I'm new to the site and have just started writing my draft.

Here it is. By the way, I am looking for some help for improvements. Possibly a look at what grade I might be able to achieve. Please do not be rude or anything, I take that personally.

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Compare the ways poets present ideas about power in Ozymandias and in one other poem from Power and conflict

The poems 'Ozymandias' by Percy Bysshe Shelley and 'Exposure' by Wilfred Owen both explore multiple variants of power and how it corrupts, controls and changes the people who either obtain power or are exposed to power itself. However, both poems are very different. 'Ozymandias' represents the power of time and nature by detailing how a powerful pharaoh cannot demand or control the damaging effects of time. In contrast, 'Exposure' presents the destructive power of nature which is suggested to be the true personified antagonist against a cluster of cold, aching soldiers during the Great War. What is clear to see in both poems is that nature fights any type of person who could be rich, poor, egotistical or altruistic. Shelley's fourteen-line sonnet which is metered in iambic pentameter, details a ruined statue of a pharaoh named Ozymandias who once reigned over Ancient Egypt. The name, Ozymandias, is another name for the deceased nonfictional Egyptian pharaoh, Ramesses II. Shelley depicts Ozymandias as a wicked and powerful ruler; this can be seen in the quotation, "His sneer of cold command," since the word "sneer" shows how Ozymandias abused and exploited his power on his fellow public. Whereas "cold command" describes Ozymandias as a dictator whose actions were heartless and unfeeling. Shelley also used alliteration which is a distinct reminder that Ozymandias's power is huge and mighty. The poet, Percy Shelley, was apart of The Romantics, a literary movement which represented a rejection of the certainties of 18th century classicism while heralding a social movement that challenged the conservative notions like the Divine Right of Kings. Alternatively, Wilfred Owen was an English poet and soldier who wrote poems before he fought in the Great War.
Owen might be expressing his hidden opinion about the useless need for violence and war. In his lifetime, he fought in the First World War before writing poems that exposed the reality and truth of war that it wasn't a dream of jingoism to die for your country but a miserable bloodbath with no hope anywhere. Owen finishes his first stanza with "But nothing happens" which appears again at the end of the last stanza which suggests that the whole poem contributed nothing to the movement of time and that it emphasizes the agony of waiting which explores the hopelessness and despair the men witness while knowing their deaths are inevitable. In the poem, the power of nature continues to torment the soldiers with large gusts of piercing winds and very low temperatures. The repeated use of the pronouns 'our' and 'we' suggest that Owen is detailing a situation he could of been apart of or that the power of nature not only effects him, but in fact the entirety of the soldiers.

- That's all I have so far. Thanks!

Reply 1

Jonjonbo

What grade you will achieve really depends on your teacher, as Literature is a fairly abstract subject. It depends on what kinds of things your teacher is looking for, so I would recommend carefully reading any outlines/formats/requirements he/she specified for the assignment. I know my teacher is fairly lax when it comes to speeling and grammer but when it comes to analysis of details he can be pretty picky. Without more detail on the marking scheme, it's difficult to say.