Should I tell my current boyfriend about an abusive past?

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 4 years ago
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I am currently in a relationship with an amazing guy.

Because of my long past relationship with an abusive boyfriend, I test his limits to see if he will hurt me like my ex. I know this is a bad thing to do but I really can't help it. He gets really annoyed at me and doesn't understand why I start fights or arguments.

Last night he raised his hand to cuddle with me but I flinched. He asked me why I'm always flinching when he raises his hand, I cried but I didn't tell him. I don't want him thinking differently of me if I tell him.

What should I do??
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Airmed
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#2
Report 4 years ago
#2
I think testing his limits is a horrible thing to do, unfortunately. I think you should be honest with him. I was honest with my current SO about the emotional abuse I was put through, and he has been nothing but absolutely amazing about it. If he cares about you, he won't think differently of you and might even think you a strong person from getting away from such ****. But testing him is sure hell way of bringing **** into this relationship.
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Xopher_
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#3
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I am currently in a relationship with an amazing guy.

Because of my long past relationship with an abusive boyfriend, I test his limits to see if he will hurt me like my ex. I know this is a bad thing to do but I really can't help it. He gets really annoyed at me and doesn't understand why I start fights or arguments.

Last night he raised his hand to cuddle with me but I flinched. He asked me why I'm always flinching when he raises his hand, I cried but I didn't tell him. I don't want him thinking differently of me if I tell him.

What should I do??
Just tell him. You're causing unnecessary strain on your relationship, and if he's the right one he won't judge you because of your past.
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999tigger
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#4
Report 4 years ago
#4
(Original post by Anonymous)
I am currently in a relationship with an amazing guy.

Because of my long past relationship with an abusive boyfriend, I test his limits to see if he will hurt me like my ex. I know this is a bad thing to do but I really can't help it. He gets really annoyed at me and doesn't understand why I start fights or arguments.

Last night he raised his hand to cuddle with me but I flinched. He asked me why I'm always flinching when he raises his hand, I cried but I didn't tell him. I don't want him thinking differently of me if I tell him.

What should I do??
Agree with Airmed. testing is messed up and a really bad idea.

You shouldnt tell him until you feel comfortable to do so.

You should be aware of your actions though and talk to him. You dont have to tell him what happened, but you can try and show him you are aware that you can sometimes be difficult and just ask him for a bit of patience. Saying you had a difficult past doesnt expose you and if hes any good then he wont push and will give you more time. tell him when you are ready if ever. The danger of testing limits is he will get fed up or even worse he will start to think it is him.
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