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Noisy flat mates and anxiety.... am I being unreasonable? Help?! Watch

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    (Original post by louisekatestevo)
    So, long story short, I'm a first year BioMed student who's struggling with the work load and has noisy flatmates. Oh, and I have really bad anxiety.
    When I say noisy, they probably keep me up twice (maybe three times) a week. This week for example, on Thursday they had loud pre drinks at our flat until midnight, and then I didn't get to sleep until 1am. Then wake us up when they get back home. Tonight, however, they had pre drinks at ours until midnight, then woke me and my other flatmate up at 3am....it's now 5:45, and they've only just quieted down.
    They get high every week too, and just 'claim' the living room on a Saturday night usually (exc this week because its someones birthday.)
    Now, maybe this wouldn't be such a big issue for others, but my anxiety makes it worse. They were so loud the other week, and I got so frustrated that I had the biggest panic attack I've had since university. Loud noise makes me anxious, and so does feeling out of control of a situation. Anxiety also makes it hard for me to fall to sleep (1hrs+) and makes me exhausted, so I probably sleep more than other people (8hrs).
    I just don't know what to do....other than the noise, I love my flatmates, but I genuinely believe they're damaging my mental health and jeopardising my degree.
    I haven't been in your situation as I am much older, but can see how stressed you are and didn't not want to answer your post as you are obviously having a hard time.
    You are 1st year and things can be overwhelming with workload, etc. But you are all young and are making the most of the uni experience. Can you speak to someone at uni about the noise and your anxiety? Try to get out of the mindset that your flatmates are responsible for your mental health - they aren't. Have a conversation with them and see if you can all come to some compromise about the noise. X
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    (Original post by louisekatestevo)
    So, long story short, I'm a first year BioMed student who's struggling with the work load and has noisy flatmates. Oh, and I have really bad anxiety.
    When I say noisy, they probably keep me up twice (maybe three times) a week. This week for example, on Thursday they had loud pre drinks at our flat until midnight, and then I didn't get to sleep until 1am. Then wake us up when they get back home. Tonight, however, they had pre drinks at ours until midnight, then woke me and my other flatmate up at 3am....it's now 5:45, and they've only just quieted down.
    They get high every week too, and just 'claim' the living room on a Saturday night usually (exc this week because its someones birthday.)
    Now, maybe this wouldn't be such a big issue for others, but my anxiety makes it worse. They were so loud the other week, and I got so frustrated that I had the biggest panic attack I've had since university. Loud noise makes me anxious, and so does feeling out of control of a situation. Anxiety also makes it hard for me to fall to sleep (1hrs+) and makes me exhausted, so I probably sleep more than other people (8hrs).
    I just don't know what to do....other than the noise, I love my flatmates, but I genuinely believe they're damaging my mental health and jeopardising my degree.
    I don't see how that's unreasonable. In fact, if you logically go with the law, loud noise is prohibited at night. It's why emergency services don't sound their sirens at night unless they really have to.
    Anyway, most student halls are noisy, so your best option is move out and live out in a non-student-hall property. No idea how that would work with your anxiety though.
    If not, speak to whoever is in charge of student hall and ask to move into another flat. Students drop out of course a lot so there will be empty rooms around.
    You could try ear plugs if you want to stay in your current student hall. I personally hated them but I knew someone who uses them and worked well.
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    (Original post by Seamus123)
    I haven't been in your situation as I am much older, but can see how stressed you are and didn't not want to answer your post as you are obviously having a hard time.
    You are 1st year and things can be overwhelming with workload, etc. But you are all young and are making the most of the uni experience. Can you speak to someone at uni about the noise and your anxiety? Try to get out of the mindset that your flatmates are responsible for your mental health - they aren't. Have a conversation with them and see if you can all come to some compromise about the noise. X
    Hi, thank you for your response! I don't blame them for my mental health, because I have a good understanding of the root of the problem, but they don't help. Im going to talk to them about it today, and see what they say....I'm just worried that they'll not take me serious, like when I ask them too be quiet.
    Thank you! x
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    (Original post by Seamus123)
    I haven't been in your situation as I am much older, but can see how stressed you are and didn't not want to answer your post as you are obviously having a hard time.
    You are 1st year and things can be overwhelming with workload, etc. But you are all young and are making the most of the uni experience. Can you speak to someone at uni about the noise and your anxiety? Try to get out of the mindset that your flatmates are responsible for your mental health - they aren't. Have a conversation with them and see if you can all come to some compromise about the noise. X
    Thank you for your response! I don't blame them for my issues (I understand the cause of them etc) but they just make it worse....I going to try and talk to them today, I'm just worried they'll shrug me off :/
    Thanks again x
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    (Original post by CelqOne)
    I don't see how that's unreasonable. In fact, if you logically go with the law, loud noise is prohibited at night. It's why emergency services don't sound their sirens at night unless they really have to.
    Anyway, most student halls are noisy, so your best option is move out and live out in a non-student-hall property. No idea how that would work with your anxiety though.
    If not, speak to whoever is in charge of student hall and ask to move into another flat. Students drop out of course a lot so there will be empty rooms around.
    You could try ear plugs if you want to stay in your current student hall. I personally hated them but I knew someone who uses them and worked well.

    I know, and it was 5am...I tried to tell them it was unreasonable and they just called me boring and told me to try have more fun (which to someone with anxiety is genuinely upsetting, because I WANT to be able to go out more etc, but I can't).
    I don't think I could change halls because a change will be more expensive and I do love them, just not when they're noisy.
    Might have a look on amazon and treat myself :')
    Thank you for replying! x
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hi, thank you for your response! I don't blame them for my mental health, because I have a good understanding of the root of the problem, but they don't help. Im going to talk to them about it today, and see what they say....I'm just worried that they'll not take me serious, like when I ask them too be quiet.
    Thank you! x
    It wasn't my intention to upset you. You have a right to the same enjoyment of your flat as the rest of them and not to feel that you shouldn't be able to request that they tone down their noise. If you don't address it now, they will continue to do what they are doing. X
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    (Original post by louisekatestevo)
    I know, and it was 5am...I tried to tell them it was unreasonable and they just called me boring and told me to try have more fun (which to someone with anxiety is genuinely upsetting, because I WANT to be able to go out more etc, but I can't).
    I don't think I could change halls because a change will be more expensive and I do love them, just not when they're noisy.
    Might have a look on amazon and treat myself :'
    Thank you for replying! x
    Many halls have a time for shutting down excessive noise - does your have that?
    I would speak to them and if that does no good then take it further. Speak to your tutor and maybe the hall people about this

    Look after yourself.
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    (Original post by Seamus123)
    It wasn't my intention to upset you. You have a right to the same enjoyment of your flat as the rest of them and not to feel that you shouldn't be able to request that they tone down their noise. If you don't address it now, they will continue to do what they are doing. X
    Dont worry, you didn't upset me! x
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    I don’t think you’re being unreasonable because that sounds hellish - however you are in 1st year and it’s extremely normal for this to happen, you can’t really tell them to stop having pre drinks etc. It’s just part of being a fresher. All you can do is ask to move to somewhere quieter? Maybe a post grad halls or something? Or just invest in some bloody good earplugs.
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    The problem is this is really normal and your flatmates are not extreme at all. It's normal for the living area to be for parties or pre drinks on a saturday night and if everyone else in the flat is involved you can't say everyone should do t your way. Likewise with the noise - being loud until 12 is pretty reasonable and normal. The problem is the 3am noise when they come home but you can't do anything about drunk people, they will always be noisy even if they try not to be.
 
 
 
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