00lost girl
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#1
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#1
I’m 15, I’m not comfortable being a girl, I really want to be a boy but I’m scared of cutting my hair, and actually making the transition, pathetic I know. I’m terrified that I’ll look stupid and unattractive, then I can’t take it back. But it’s at the point where I cry myself to sleep because I hate who I am, my mam is very unaccepting and laughed when I told her I wanted to be a boy, my sister told me I wouldn’t look good and although I still want to be a boy, I’m scared of how I’ll actailly turn out looking. I’ve tried apps to see what I’d look like with ‘boy hair styles’ and I’ve been told my face is ‘too feminine’, please give me advice
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Kindred
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(Original post by 00lost girl)
I’m 15, I’m not comfortable being a girl, I really want to be a boy but I’m scared of cutting my hair, and actually making the transition, pathetic I know. I’m terrified that I’ll look stupid and unattractive, then I can’t take it back. But it’s at the point where I cry myself to sleep because I hate who I am, my mam is very unaccepting and laughed when I told her I wanted to be a boy, my sister told me I wouldn’t look good and although I still want to be a boy, I’m scared of how I’ll actailly turn out looking. I’ve tried apps to see what I’d look like with ‘boy hair styles’ and I’ve been told my face is ‘too feminine’, please give me advice
I think it might help to talk this through with somebody who won't judge you (like a counselor) then, if you decide to go ahead with it, go to a hair dressers and talk things through with them to work out what style you want to go for (or if you massive want to be a boy with long hair).
You could also talk to your GP about it so they can help you get in touch with more emotional support.

It's a big step, but what matters is that you're comfortable so go get some support and with out what it is you need to make you comfortable.

Maybe you could even try a bit of a trial over Christmas where it won't be so public what you're doing. You could try a wig if you're not too comfortable with cutting your hair yet. It won't feel so different, but it could help to see yourself in a mirror with the different hair and almost meet the potential male you.

I think a counselor or other form of support is going to be better than me though so look into that. You could also see about finding a support group for trans gender people and see if they can help you.

Hope that helps a bit and that you can feel comfortable with yourself soon.

Oh and bare in mind that you don't have to be full on girl or boy. Girls don't have to be girly so you could always just try being you instead of boy or girl and see where that leads you.
They're just words. What matters is all the little bits that make you you.
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00lost girl
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#3
Report Thread starter 4 weeks ago
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(Original post by Kindred)
I think it might help to talk this through with somebody who won't judge you (like a counselor) then, if you decide to go ahead with it, go to a hair dressers and talk things through with them to work out what style you want to go for (or if you massive want to be a boy with long hair).
You could also talk to your GP about it so they can help you get in touch with more emotional support.

It's a big step, but what matters is that you're comfortable so go get some support and with out what it is you need to make you comfortable.

Maybe you could even try a bit of a trial over Christmas where it won't be so public what you're doing. You could try a wig if you're not too comfortable with cutting your hair yet. It won't feel so different, but it could help to see yourself in a mirror with the different hair and almost meet the potential male you.

I think a counselor or other form of support is going to be better than me though so look into that. You could also see about finding a support group for trans gender people and see if they can help you.

Hope that helps a bit and that you can feel comfortable with yourself soon.

Oh and bare in mind that you don't have to be full on girl or boy. Girls don't have to be girly so you could always just try being you instead of boy or girl and see where that leads you.
They're just words. What matters is all the little bits that make you you.
hello, I came on here recently and I saw your reply, it’s been 2 years and I wanted to give you an update because your reply was really nice. I cut my hair shortly after I made the original post and I’ve never felt better. I’m presenting as male to my close friends, my family are still unaccepting but im sticking it out until I can move out. Ever since presenting masculine I’ve never felt more myself, I go by the name Oliver, Ollie for short because my friend said I suited the name very much. I’m also going to a transgender support group where I’ve met loads of people in the same boat as myself so thankyou for the suggestion (:
Last edited by 00lost girl; 4 weeks ago
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Kindred
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(Original post by 00lost girl)
hello, I came on here recently and I saw your reply, it’s been 2 years and I wanted to give you an update because your reply was really nice. I cut my hair shortly after I made the original post and I’ve never felt better. I’m presenting as male to my close friends, my family are still unaccepting but im sticking it out until I can move out. Ever since presenting masculine I’ve never felt more myself, I go by the name Oliver, Ollie for short because my friend said I suited the name very much. I’m also going to a transgender support group where I’ve met loads of people in the same boat as myself so thankyou for the suggestion (:
Hi Ollie That's so great to hear. Thank you for the update. I'm so glad you're feeling more you and it sounds like you have some nice friends. I hope you're parents start to understand your choice more and see how this is who you are. I guess it's a bigger change for them than a lot of other people cos of how long they've known/ thought about a different version of you and they've come from less open times. It's really great that you've got a good foundation of support now. Good luck with everything and enjoy being the new(ly embraced) you.
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dylan_mcgowann
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#5
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Just a piece of advice taken from my cousin. Whatever happens, do not undergo surgery or hormone treatment, it messes you up big time alright. Just dress like a Tomboy and I'm sure you'll be fine
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escape664
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Hi Ollie, Being a transwoman working in the University sector I have a good understanding of being Transgender and how you feel how you do. I'm a trans advisor at the establishment I'm currently working at, so please make sure you talk to trained people about how you are feeling, you can self-refer to a gender clinic (GIC) once you turned 18 where specialist can help you with your transition. There is a pathway that they follow and you have to jump through hoops, but its worth it to be the person you know you are.
I personally have never felt happier and more content than I do now I identify as female, so there is a benefit for following it through, the stats are something like 98% are glad they transitioned and 2% not sure or wish they didn't.
Stay strong Ollie and give it time....
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Antomasid
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#7
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#7
(Original post by 00lost girl)
I’m 15, I’m not comfortable being a girl, I really want to be a boy but I’m scared of cutting my hair, and actually making the transition, pathetic I know. I’m terrified that I’ll look stupid and unattractive, then I can’t take it back. But it’s at the point where I cry myself to sleep because I hate who I am, my mam is very unaccepting and laughed when I told her I wanted to be a boy, my sister told me I wouldn’t look good and although I still want to be a boy, I’m scared of how I’ll actailly turn out looking. I’ve tried apps to see what I’d look like with ‘boy hair styles’ and I’ve been told my face is ‘too feminine’, please give me advice
I suggest you visit a counsellor, maybe this counsellor will find out the main reason of why you want to be a boy and why you can't accept yourself as a girl. Maybe he will be able to help you accept yourself the way you are now.
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00lost girl
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#8
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(Original post by escape664)
Hi Ollie, Being a transwoman working in the University sector I have a good understanding of being Transgender and how you feel how you do. I'm a trans advisor at the establishment I'm currently working at, so please make sure you talk to trained people about how you are feeling, you can self-refer to a gender clinic (GIC) once you turned 18 where specialist can help you with your transition. There is a pathway that they follow and you have to jump through hoops, but its worth it to be the person you know you are.
I personally have never felt happier and more content than I do now I identify as female, so there is a benefit for following it through, the stats are something like 98% are glad they transitioned and 2% not sure or wish they didn't.
Stay strong Ollie and give it time....
Hello! Thankyou for your reply i really appreciate it. Since i posted this i have talked to several therapists and once i turn 18 (this sept) i plan on referring myself to a gender clinic because being who i am now feels right and like you i’ve never felt happier. I’m glad you found yourself and you’re happy (:
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00lost girl
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#9
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(Original post by dylan_mcgowann)
Just a piece of advice taken from my cousin. Whatever happens, do not undergo surgery or hormone treatment, it messes you up big time alright. Just dress like a Tomboy and I'm sure you'll be fine
Thankyou for your reply and concern How will it mess me up? If it would make me feel comfortable in my own skin why shouldn’t i do it?
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