The Student Room Group

Boyfriend living with ex-crush?

Hey, so my boyfriend told to renew his contract on his flat by the end of November (this month), for the 2018/2019 academic year, to guarantee the best price etc... He currently shares with a female and a male who he met online for flatmate purposes. (I get on with them and have no problems). However, they will not be there for 2018/19, and so he needed 2 more flatmates to renew the contract. He has a female best friend from uni but before I dated him, who he has admitted to having fancied a lot. She is currently on a year abroad. He has asked her to join him next year, and her female friend is joining them.
Recap this far: my boyfriend is moving in with 2 females, one of which is his ex-crush best-friend.
I am moving a bit further away next year, as I actually own a flat and am not renting. I will be living nearer his campus, coincidentally. I mentioned to him that it would make sense for him to try look at flats closer to his campus, as that would mean a much shorter/easier trek to uni, and we could see each other more as it is also nearer me. As he is renting, and his flat is up for renewal, whereas I own my flat so can't move, and he complains about travelling and not seeing me enough, it made sense to suggest it in a non-expecting manner. I also offered for him to move into my flat next year instead of my current flatmate. He said 'no I have to have signed my lease by the beginning of this week' (first week in November).
He signed, and then last night (21st November) his female flatmate was messaging him, confused about the paperwork for signing the lease, and he said 'she's had a month to do it in, and she left it until this last week'. AKA. He did not have to sign it by the beginning of the week. He had a month.
He then proceeded to text her for a very long time last night, eating in to our date time, despite me politely requesting that he did not continue messaging her and decreasing the time of our date. He had already shown up late to our date night, having bumped into one of her friends at an event who he talked to for a long time.

I just feel that I have left it too late to talk it through with him, and when I do let him know how I feel about anything, I am never allowed to have felt that way- he is the only one allowed to be upset by stuff. He will just argue at me and flip it on me. I want to trust him, but just because he won't necessarily do anything with her, that doesn't mean he won't have feelings or she won't try anything...
I also do not want to be so very uncomfortable going to his flat, and being left out of their chats, and also I don't want my me+him time becoming me+him+her time.

I don't know what to do.
I think there are deeper issues in your relationship than the prospect of him sharing a flat with another girl. Your words “I am never allowed to be upset by anything” say it all, he sounds like a selfish prick.

On the matter at hand, he shouldn’t even be contemplating sharing a flat with only females, unless one of them is his girlfriend. Never mind one he has admittedly had feelings for in the past. Why is he sharing with them instead of moving in with you? Presumably the money he would have spent on rent he can put toward bills/food by living with you?

If he had an ounce of respect for you he wouldn’t be doing this, plain and simple. I’m sorry to say but something will happen between them, he clearly has the selfishness and form for it. Leave him now and save yourself a lot of heartache xxx

Quick Reply

Related discussions

Latest

Trending

Trending

Articles for you