The Student Room Group

My 'friend' keeps using my things without asking and keeping them

So, I go to a boarding school where we are randomly assigned dorm rooms and I happen to share a room with a girl from my main friendship group. My friend and I usually get along fine, we're not extremely close as she can be rather temperamental and I find I have to think a lot before saying anything "wrong" to her.

Anyway, in my group we always ask to borrow stuff from each other, sometimes outfits for a party etc. so I have no problem sharing with any of the 18 girls in my group, BUT this girl does not have any manners and takes my things without asking all the time. She uses my make up when I'm out and leaves it in a mess on my vanity, sometimes she keeps my things in her bags and under her pillow and I have to look for them after I realise they're gone. She wears my clothes without asking and leaves them on a pile on the floor and doesn't give them to the maid to wash.

This frustrates me an awful lot however I am not an angry person and I let things go, I remind her to ask me before taking my things and I wouldn't mind her using my things if she asked beforehand but shes so rude and doesn't take anyone's feelings into consideration. Today I had an argument with her bc she was going through my birthday presents and using some of the louboutin lipsticks I was given, which as usual she didn't put back. It has ended up with her storming out of the house and me crying bc I can't deal with her anymore, nobody in my group likes her much and if they knew that she'd made me cry she would end up with no friends as of today, so I don't want to tell my friends what has happened, I do however want to get through to her somehow.

Can anyone give me advice?

note: It's not possible for me to change rooms or to switch roommates, which is not something I'd ideally want anyway.
Reply 1
I forgot to mention that she doesn't let others use her stuff
What she is doing is tantamount to stealing.
If you’re feeling brave then you need to tell her outright that she may not touch your things. The other option is to write her a note.
She sounds like she feels that she is entitled to anything she wants and it’s not acceptable
When you’ve given her a chance to stop, if she doesn’t, then tell your other friends what she has done. Does she do the same to everyone?
For your make up and small personal things, can you invest in a lockable vanity case? You could even fasten it with a bike lock to your table or bed leg to stop her taking the whole thing!
It seems a bit extreme but it could stop her stealing.
Ultimately if a direct approach and other people can’t stop her then it would be very fair to report it to school
You have an absolute right to the sole use of your own things Not to mention how unhygienic it is to use someone else’s make up!!!
steal her stuff back see how she likes it
Reply 4
Give her a dressing down on the matter, see what she says... she might not even be aware she's being an ass.
If that doesnt work simply do it to her :smile:
Reply 5
Original post by Sammylou40
What she is doing is tantamount to stealing.
If you’re feeling brave then you need to tell her outright that she may not touch your things. The other option is to write her a note.
She sounds like she feels that she is entitled to anything she wants and it’s not acceptable
When you’ve given her a chance to stop, if she doesn’t, then tell your other friends what she has done. Does she do the same to everyone?
For your make up and small personal things, can you invest in a lockable vanity case? You could even fasten it with a bike lock to your table or bed leg to stop her taking the whole thing!
It seems a bit extreme but it could stop her stealing.
Ultimately if a direct approach and other people can’t stop her then it would be very fair to report it to school
You have an absolute right to the sole use of your own things Not to mention how unhygienic it is to use someone else’s make up!!!


Original post by Napp
Give her a dressing down on the matter, see what she says... she might not even be aware she's being an ass.
If that doesnt work simply do it to her :smile:


I've tried to talk to her on multiple occasions and tell her that she can't just go through my things without my permission but she doesn't seem to care, she apologies when I catch her out or sometimes says she has no idea how my things ended up in her bags.

It really frustrates me as although I'm much more popular than her I'm genuinely a nice person who prefers to be tolerant of others, if I wanted I could be a complete ***** and make her leave my group but I'm not that kind of person I do care about her I just wish she was considerate in return.

Quick Reply

Latest