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problem with my best friend watch

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    basically there have been so many things happening between me and my best friend. long story. basically it all started over Christmas. im a 2nd year student at one of the universities in london and im sharing a flat with my best friend and another common friend of us. im an international student and i dont normally reside in the uk over holidays so i went back home for christmas. on the first or second day after i got back home my best friend sent me a facebook msg asking me to ring him. so i rang him right away. he told me over the phone that his parents have bought a house and they wish him to move there after Christmas to look after the house and at the end of the conversation he asked me if i was angry with him, which i found a bit surprising. and i replied "no, but im just a bit disappointed and upset". but thinking it again over christmas, i realized that he might be dishonest with me (and also the other guy) all the time. i mean i am perfectly aware that his parents are trying to get him a house in london (coz he told me that) but never had he mentioned the need of him moving out if his parents actually bought a house at the end. come on if you parents expect you to do that they are going to tell you well in advance to give you plenty of time for preparation. and there are many other reasons which i believe he delibrately chose not to tell us until it was after the end of term when me and the other were both not in london so we had less control over this things.

    when i got back i confronted with him with all my doubts, reasoning and evidence, to which he simply replied that he didnt actually know all these and he said he told me in the early possible moment after he found out what his parents needed him to do. i found that highly unconvincing to be honest, given how everything happened in such a perfect timing and fits in a greater picture coincidentally. anyway i thought our friendship is worth keeping so i took the leap of faith and believed what he told me.

    thats not the end of story. what im more concerned at the moment is that since he has moved out, he wishes someone to move in (otherwise he is still liable to pay for the rent). though reluntantly (coz i dont wanna live with a stranger), i gave him my consent of a new guy moving him. but at the same time, he thought i was being ridiculous with my criteria of a new guy moving in. he thought i was just being difficult so that he couldnt possibly find someone that fits that criteria. i have no such intention and to be honest my criteria is fairly basic (such as, non-smoking, male, undergrad (he thinks undergrad shouldnt be my criteria!!) and a couples of others). these criteria are set in order to give me some protection and security from the stranger coz after all its me and the other guy that needs to deal with this stranger for the rest of the year. but he took this personally. i tried to explain to him all this but he just doesnt believe me. i mean at the end of the day if i turn down a stranger he will be thinking i just say no for the sake of saying no. now that my discussion with him has elevated to emails between our parents.

    honestly if he is not one of my best friends, i would not even let him to break the contract (coz we signed a contract that we will be sharing the flat till summer). but i know if i dont let him find someone else, i.e. making him pay for the rest of the year, our friendship is not going to last. thats why i agree of someone moving in. honestly were he a stranger, i would just leave him no choice but to pay for the rent till the end of the contract. i think i have done a lot for him but he jsut thought i havent done enough.

    im writing all this because i still want to keep our friendship. even though sometimes i do question myself "is this friendship worth keeping?" i know deep down, i still do want to keep it. i just need some words of advice or just encourgement. i also want to know am i doing the right thing here? should i insist in my principles? i know if im going to just share with a stranger that i dont like, then i aint going to be happy for the rest of the year. but at the same time, i know if i upset this friend, i would feel bad as well. i try to keep all these impersonal but everything, as he said, is interwined. so can anyone tell me what i should do? am i doing the right thing? or if im completely detached from this incident, i would ask: should i stick with him any longer?

    finally just some background information. im also a guy and i am NOT gay or bi. i know what i said above may not come normally from a guy, but I do value friendship a lot, especially with this guy since he is one of my best friends i got.

    thank you for those who have stayed with me and finished reading what i want to say. i have nothing else to say except that im deeply in debt of your advice or encouragement or just reading my thing till the end. thank you so much!
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    sorry i have double posted this, could someone please remove this? thx!
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    It's only fair that you have a say in who you live with becuase afterall it's you that will be living with them & not your friend. Your criteria is not in the slightest bit demanding or impossible.

    is there anyway of aproaching him and going over your criteria again and then leave it to him to sort it out. afterall he's the 1 that's moving out and is responsible for his rent. He signed a contract & has since changed his mind. it might be worth popping a post in the law forum with the main facts - you've both signed a contract but he's opting out of it. who has what responsibilities. It would be good to find out where you stand legally.

    It could be what he has told you is all true. as long as you can sort out the issue of the flat you should see how things are & if the friendship has survived it.
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    thank you. any more comments? your comments actually mean a lot to me coz im desperate for someone who supports me.
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    Sorry, I couldnt actually bring myself to read and understand your massive essay up there. Good luck with whatever your problem is though, lol
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    (Original post by Lady_KaKa)
    Sorry, I couldnt actually bring myself to read and understand your massive essay up there. Good luck with whatever your problem is though, lol
    huh ...

    ok ... dude .... u knw ... he be ur best mate and all ... but ... according to wht i read ... he is treating u like rags ... u knw ... i used to rent a house with me mates ... best time of our life ...

    dude ... relax ... ur housemates aint going to murder u .... get new housemates .. and .... enjoy uni ...
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    (Original post by mattydedon)
    huh ...

    ok ... dude .... u knw ... he be ur best mate and all ... but ... according to wht i read ... he is treating u like rags ... u knw ... i used to rent a house with me mates ... best time of our life ...

    dude ... relax ... ur housemates aint going to murder u .... get new housemates .. and .... enjoy uni ...

    Um, what exactly was the point in quoting me?!
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    (Original post by Lady_KaKa)
    Um, what exactly was the point in quoting me?!
    Um, what exactly was the point in replying to a year-old thread?!
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    (Original post by *Liana*)
    Um, what exactly was the point in replying to a year-old thread?!
    And whats the point in you replying to my reply on a year old thread when it clearly has **** all to do with you?!
 
 
 
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