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Difficulty with perfecting the best style of writing for my Personal Statement.

It sounds ridiculous, but I am preparing for my Personal Statement for next year's 2019 entry. I know I am early, but this is mainly preliminary work. Moreover, with what I have produced so far, I am consistently bumping into the same criticisms: too professional, too rigid, not sounding genuine or sincere, "writing from the 19th century", arrogance, and so forth.

Naturally I want to continue practising until I am comfortable with my ability, and need some advice to achieve that. I put the following questions out there:

1) Have you ever found yourself struggling with the formality and style of your writing? Especially towards the "too formal" end of the spectrum?

2) How have you consistently combatted the habit or amended your style of writing? Maybe without aid? I personally find it hard identifying the flaws in my writing, and can only note the excessive nature of my tone when someone points it out.

Many thanks in advance. Tips that diverge from the questions but complement my issue are welcomed.
Original post by dandiprat
It sounds ridiculous, but I am preparing for my Personal Statement for next year's 2019 entry. I know I am early, but this is mainly preliminary work. Moreover, with what I have produced so far, I am consistently bumping into the same criticisms: too professional, too rigid, not sounding genuine or sincere, "writing from the 19th century", arrogance, and so forth.

Naturally I want to continue practising until I am comfortable with my ability, and need some advice to achieve that. I put the following questions out there:

1) Have you ever found yourself struggling with the formality and style of your writing? Especially towards the "too formal" end of the spectrum?

2) How have you consistently combatted the habit or amended your style of writing? Maybe without aid? I personally find it hard identifying the flaws in my writing, and can only note the excessive nature of my tone when someone points it out.

Many thanks in advance. Tips that diverge from the questions but complement my issue are welcomed.


Well first off it's way to early as things will change between now and then including perhaps your choice of course. There's no harm in practising formal and academic writing generally though. There's no such thing as too formal when it comes to a formal application but there is a difference between formal and arrogant which you have to be careful of. The only way to perfect your writing is to keep practising and getting feedback from suitable people i.e friends, family and teachers.
Reply 2
Original post by alleycat393
Well first off it's way to early as things will change between now and then including perhaps your choice of course. There's no harm in practising formal and academic writing generally though. There's no such thing as too formal when it comes to a formal application but there is a difference between formal and arrogant which you have to be careful of. The only way to perfect your writing is to keep practising and getting feedback from suitable people i.e friends, family and teachers.


Due to the circumstances, I am pretty certain of the course I wish to take on in university. Earlier complications in my academic journey had me withdrawing from three different colleges, so I am only now redoing my A-Levels three years behind for my age (although, there is no true timeline) so I can continue as I should have.

My main problem currently is the latter, however: I am not attending a college, leaving me with no tutor, and I am learning from home. Both parents are a bit useless at advising me on my writing, since they aren't as well-spoken or written as myself, and my friends are much the same--all they have provided so far is the occasional thumbs up and "eh, that sounds a tad too complex".

I am exasperated with this rigmarole-ish style of mine.

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