Sounds like a nightmare.
The last experience I had ******** myself was when I was about seven, to be honest. I had the worst stomach bugs as a kid... and this one occasion resulted in everything exiting my body consecutively while I was sat in bed. It was as though evil itself had been forced from my frail casing, and still to this very day I can recall its sting.
It was a startling event. 6/10 - ruined my sheets, but granted me seven days off school.