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I need some perspective on my girlfriends behaviour. Is this acceptable

To sum up: We've been dating for two months. We're both 23 years old and in college. Through college, I've gotten to know a few close, female friends, who are strictly platonic. There has never been any romantic connection.
Throughout the last two months, I've come to know a very different side of my girlfriend. She has low self esteem, has a tendency to be very jealous and she oftens masks insults or letdowns of others with humour or sarcasm. Let me give you a few examples of how she behaves towards me and others.

On a few occasions, she has looked through my phone (texts, call log, apps). This happens when she's drunk and I guess because she then has the courage to do it.

From my phone, she once texted a female friend of mine, indirectly asking whether she and I had had sex.

On one occasion, she has called female friends of mine '*****es' and 'hoes'.

If I spend time without her, she tells me to 'sleep alone', if I go out for a drink with friends etc..

One time when I met her father briefly, he had complimented me afterwards to her. When I asked her what he had said, she initially told me, that "I couldn't handle more praise", indirectly claiming that I my self esteem might become a little too much (did she want to keep me down?)

I once helped a friend of mine from college with an assignment and when I told her (the girl I am dating) about it, the first thing she asked was: Have you slept together?

Whenever she has the opportunity, she makes fun of and laugh at people behind their backs for any given reason. This seems to be especially prevailing when the 'victim' has had something bad/unlucky happen to them.

She is sometimes demeaning towards me. She once told me that I shouldn't bother working out, because I'm not the 'bodybuilding type of guy'. Wheneever she does this and I point out how her sarcastic ways doesn't make things better, she will most likely claim she was joking or just ignore it..

Her inappropriate jokes also contains passive-agressive threats at times: One time she told me that 'we'll never see each other again' and when I didn't answer she once again claimed that she was joking.

Whenever I do spend time with the afore-mentioned female friends, she asks how 'our date' went. Maybe it's just her way to tackle things, but it makes me feel sad and unhappy, since it's not a date - the only woman I'm dating is her.



Whenever she does these things, I get a knot in my stomach and my gut feeling/intuition is telling me that something is completely wrong. Her behaviour is driving me away and its making me want to spend less and less time with her, which I think is fueling her poor behaviour even further like a vicious circle. This has made me think that her way of acting is somehow my fault and this is why I'm asking if I'm the one causing all of this.

I feel sick and like leaving most of the time, but when I think it over, she also does a lot of good things for me: She buys me gifts, sends me love letters, invites me to meet her family etc. Another things that puzzles me is the fact that before me, she had an apparently succesfull long-term relationship that went on for years. This has made me think that somehow I'm the one who is faulty.

I could use some perspective on this. What are your thoughts? Why is all of this happening?
She clearly has some issues. I think you need to sit down and have a proper talk with her.

Whilst I have nothing to hide, I wouldn't be too happy with my partner going through my phone. I wouldn't go through his either.

Asking how your meeting with your friend went is fine, imo. But calling it "a date" is just strange.

I certainly wouldn't be happy in a relationship like this.
Reply 2
She has some trust issues that you need to talk to her about, that may ruin the relationship. Ask her why she feels that way about you and try to talk some sense into her. Maybe she's not happy about something that she's afraid to say, you need to find out what.
this may not be what u wanna hear but have u thought if shes seeing other guys? because why else would she accuse unless shes doing it herself x

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