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University//relationship dilemma!!

I've been with my boyfriend for five years, I'm having a gap year at the moment, he's in his third year at uni. He's made a lot of sacrifices to make sure our relationship didn't suffer, like choosing a uni not too far away when he had slightly better offers elsewhere, coming home regularly etc. I did feel quite bad that I may be ruining his uni experience and we split up for a little while because of this, but we ended up being more unhappy so reunited. He does join in with a lot at uni and has loads of friends so I don't feel like I have been a burden.

I'm applying to go to unis now and really don't know, do you think I should also do the same and apply to a nearby/the same one so we don't have the same problem or should I just do what my heart tells me and go to the best one I can, carrying on the long-distance. What worries me is, what if once we are both our of education (i.e. when we've graduated) and it doesn't work out, we would have sacrificed university for no reason. I feel a sense of duty though because he did that for me, so should I do the same? I did quite well at A-level so am open to applying to really good unis.
Anyone else in the same boat? Any advice? Thank you x
Original post by javvyjingle
I've been with my boyfriend for five years, I'm having a gap year at the moment, he's in his third year at uni. He's made a lot of sacrifices to make sure our relationship didn't suffer, like choosing a uni not too far away when he had slightly better offers elsewhere, coming home regularly etc. I did feel quite bad that I may be ruining his uni experience and we split up for a little while because of this, but we ended up being more unhappy so reunited. He does join in with a lot at uni and has loads of friends so I don't feel like I have been a burden.

I'm applying to go to unis now and really don't know, do you think I should also do the same and apply to a nearby/the same one so we don't have the same problem or should I just do what my heart tells me and go to the best one I can, carrying on the long-distance. What worries me is, what if once we are both our of education (i.e. when we've graduated) and it doesn't work out, we would have sacrificed university for no reason. I feel a sense of duty though because he did that for me, so should I do the same? I did quite well at A-level so am open to applying to really good unis.
Anyone else in the same boat? Any advice? Thank you x


Talk to him, there isnt an easy answer.
You have 5 choices, so go for 2 close by and 2 irrespective of difference.

He made a sacrifice and you managed to stay together, but he might have to get employment where he can. Talk to him now, see what offers you get and talk again.

Most relationships end, so my advice would have been to go to the best uni you can. Where did he go and where could he have gone? Even if you make the decision not to abide with the same sacrifice, then you need to involve him.
Well right now you have no idea where he will find work and you'll have to choose a uni before you know that so it's not going to be easy either way. If you have any key cities where he is likely to find a job I would concentrate there providing it doesn't ruin an unusually good chance elsewhere e.g. if you have a place at Oxbridge don't move to Nottingham.... but if you can get a place at a London uni that gives him a lot of options. But you can't sacrifice your whole future if it's hard. It's a personal decision to make but you have to make it. I am taking a few years out of what I want for my partner's career, the idea is in the future he will try and do the same but if he gets an amazing offer I won't hold him to following me to somewhere obscure.

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