The Student Room Group

Don't feel good enough for university

Hi, i am currently on a year out of university this year after struggling with anxiety last year during my first year, which also led to depression and lack of motivation, and also due to a family tragedy at the end of my first year. I am currently on antidepressants (a second one which i started today as i believe my first one didn't work) and i am receiving CBT therapy on the NHS after waiting since April. I also have previously seen a counsellor who was helpful when i went through some bad patches. I am working part time and trying to improve my anxiety this year. I plan on going back to university next year, however i have realised that the biggest thing holding me back, along with the anxiety i will most likely feel, is the feeling that i'm not good enough. I attend the University of Edinburgh and study Psychology (The only subject i am interested in enough to study, and i would like a job related to psychology/marketing in the future.) I was so proud to get into this university as i didn't expect it at all, although i did work very hard to receive an offer there. I have two close friends at this university from school, my dad studied here, and my uncle lives in this city. I like the city as i feel it has a lot to offer. I like my psychology course. What i don't like about the university is how it is so busy. I used to hate studying in the main library as it was very busy and i didn't like it. If i go back to this university, i would apply to see a mental health mentor regularly to help with my anxiety, and i may be able to get advice on other quieter places to study and things like that which would be helpful. I would like to attend a university in which i can grow as a person, because i feel i need to conquer my anxiety at this point in my life. I believe studying here would do that, as i do enjoy the university yet i find it somewhat intimidating at the same time due to the busy city (it is busy to me, but isn't compared to somewhere like London) and the amount of students. Like i have said, the main thing holding me back is the lack of belief in myself. I would like to work on this in my CBT appointments, because this low self esteem not only affects my life when it comes to university but also my part time job. I believe my anxiety and low self esteem are closely linked. I am also worried that i wouldn't get a good grade at this university because i don't feel like i am academically good enough. I don't know where that belief is coming from, but i don't know if i should listen to that belief or not. The only other option i would consider is to attend my local university, however i wouldn't want to move out (as i live very close to it) and so i wouldn't learn to be independent and conquer my anxiety as much as i could. Therefore, i would ideally like to return to The University of Edinburgh, however i just feel like i'm not good enough. I do compare myself a lot to other students and things like that, and worry that i won't do well academically because it's only worth my while studying there if i get a 2.1 at least, and i don't know if i am capable of that. At school, i worked really hard to ensure i would get good grades, but you can never guarantee good grades at university no matter how much you study, which makes me feel uneasy.

I was wondering if any of you have, or have had, the same problem? Alternatively, advice would be much appreciated. Thank you so much.
Keep at Uni, perhaps get a part-time job and invest proceeds into a degree-level tutor. You've been through so much academically, to study at a high-ranking russell group uni, don't let your present misery permeate through to your pension days, and for anxiety make sure you're getting all the medical attention you need!
All the best :smile:
(edited 6 years ago)

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