Is it worth dating at uni?

I'm now in my second year and the majority of people on my course are in their mid to late 20s as well as a few of my friends which means a lot of them are taken, moving in with their partners etc. The thing is I feel like I'm still too young (19) to be bothered with all the drama it entails I've got enough on my plate with coursework, a job and a social life without going out my way to get a date. Plus, I get far too bored of people and it seems like the majority are spending every moment out of lectures with their boyfriend/girlfriend. Am I missing out? Should I be changing my priorities? My mum/grandma always find it odd that I've never had a boyfriend, my mum is genuinely shocked that I'm a virgin (Slight issue...) and now I'm starting to think it is as well

Reply 1

S1elyak1

Don't date for the sake of dating. Date because it's what you want and not what you feel like you should be doing. Don't date out of boredom or loneliness, join societies and make new friends instead.

Also, being a 19 year old virgin is nothing to be ashamed of.

Reply 2

username3508478

If you think it would be a hindrance then don't go out of your way to start dating, but if something happens along the way then maybe allow it to happen.

Don't bother about being a virgin at 19, it's really fine.

Reply 3

Rabbit2

Original post by KW300417

In western societies, slightly more than half of all marriages end in divorce. The woman, (particularly if the kids are small), ends up with the kids. Many women "study" topics with which they cannot earn a lving, such as 'english', 'art', 'history', etc. This puts her in a very bad position, where she has to earn a living to support herself plus her kid(s). Without a salable skill, she will be pressured to accept just about any person she meets in a pub, that seems to be able to make slightly more than she does, rather than finding a decent partner.

According to a psychologist i know, more than 80% of really serious arguments between partners involve money or finances. If each of the members of a partnership are making £50,000 to £90,000, financial worries are eased a lot. I submit that you should be concentrating upon getting yourself into a position where you can earn a decent living. There is plenty of time to find a partner. Even after you graduate, if you find it advantageous to relocate to advance your career, that step will be much easier without a partner. Should you decide to go overseas, your partner may not have a job skill that is salable in your new home. Best of luck. After i graduated (years ago), i took an overseas posting, and ended up - over a number of years - in living in 14 different countries. Enjoyed every second of it. All of my travel and relocations were paid for by my employers. I even manged two ski holidays of 3 weeks each, as my 'company furnished' vaccy. Cheers.

Reply 4

Heyok

Original post by Rabbit2

my mum is genuinely shocked that I'm a virgin (Slight issue...) and now I'm starting to think it is as well

What on earth is wrong with your mother?

Many mam's will be happy for their daughters to be virgin at that age.

Reply 5

KW300417

Original post by Heyok

What on earth is wrong with your mother?

Many mam's will be happy for their daughters to be virgin at that age.

She point blank refused to listen to me complaining about my life last year because I needed a man to have fun with hahahaha

Reply 6

Heyok

Original post by KW300417

She point blank refused to listen to me complaining about my life last year because I needed a man to have fun with hahahaha

Wow

No words for that...

Reply 7

KW300417

Original post by Heyok

Wow

No words for that...

I think it's hilarious! But yes that didn't happen so I think she's just impressed more than anything!

Reply 8

username3653088

Original post by KW300417

Date when you want, not when mum wants. Lose your virginity when you want, not when others want. It's your life. Not talking selfishness, but self-identity. Why be dictated by whatever idea someone else pulls out of their ass and asserts as "the way things should be" ? I mean seriously, you're 19, why are they freaking out about you not having boyfriend yet. It's not like the door closes and you're doomed to misery and spinsterhood. Older women enter relationships and get married and so on all the time. Just because our moronic pop culture fetishizes youth doesn't mean you have to go along with that; you don't have to smoke whatever mum or grandma have apparently been smoking.

Dating at uni is not a problem, so long as you and the person you date are realistic and can sort out a work-life balance that doesn't involve neglecting either your commitments to your studies or your relationship. Some people I've known are completely unrealistic, head in the clouds. This doesn't work for anything, whether it's starting a business, a relationship, whatever.

(edited 6 years ago)

Reply 9

KW300417

Original post by username3653088

Hahaha I'd love to be a cool spinster though! I know I just don't understand the big fascination with it at the moment like be yourself and keep away from the drama but apparently I'm too cynical for thinking that? Maybe I've dealt with too many breakups and relationship issues with my friends this year!

Reply 10

Anonymous #1

I'm in my final year now and pretty much all of my friends have been in and out of relationships and it's made them a bit boring. They've become so invested in their partners and struggle to cope on their own. I was in a relationship myself in first year for a few months but I'm quite glad I'm single again. I don't have to worry about what's going to happen after uni and having to find a job close to my boyfriend's.
The best part of university is the time you have with your friends and the nights out and parties. Boys can wait. That being said, at uni there are plenty of options so it's definitely still fun to have a flirt and maybe hook up if you want. But relationships are probably the least important thing about uni so yeah don't change your priorities.

Reply 11

Athematica

If you want to explore, do it. If not, don't worry about it. But don't not do it because of fear - that's the only way you'll regret it.

Reply 12

KW300417

Original post by Anonymous

See that's how I feel about people in my year like it's good to have someone in your corner but getting so serious so quickly with boys who aren't that mature yet scares me!

Reply 13

Salma26

Original post by KW300417

Trust me you are not missing out on anything. I dumped my sorta bf, I use that term loosely as he confused the **** out of me with his 'friends then gf' thinking.

Enjoy the university experience in all its glory. You have the rest of your life to experience all that relationship lark if you want too.

Forget about what family say, its un-needed pressure, do what is good for you even if they disagree. It's your life, make your own decisions and be happy with them.

From my experience, having a bf/gf can get in the way of studies, not saying all people are like that, but the majority have told me - it gets difficult juggling everything and many have ended because of that reason.

Besides you may find fun in a guy/girl but not guaranteed long term, as the majority are looking to hit and quit in an university environment, my generalisation, but I own it :smile: