My Bf tries to forcefeed me, help?

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Purple146
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#1
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#1
So I've been with my bf for a year and a half but this ordeal has been going on for about a year. My boyfriend told me he has a feeding kink, and I've tried to be understanding but I can't help but find it weird. I told him that him feeding me made me uncomfortable, also I don't want to gain weight as he seems to want me to. He always says he wants to 'make me chubby'and always goes on about feeding me.. and seems to only ever be sexually interested in me if his kink is involved. He knows I'm not a fan but he kinda guilts me over it, and gets stroppy if I don't do what he wants me to.... I just feel so unattractive and ugly in his eyes, but I'm happy with my weight, and tbh I have been complimented a lot on my figure so I doubt I'm actually as ugly as he makes me feel..... I'm scared I'm not satisfying him and he'll leave, but maybe that is for the best? Anyone know if there is anything I can do to fix this? I like him as a person but I just feel like I'm not what he wants
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dell dim
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#2
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#2
weird
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DrawTheLine
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#3
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#3
Personally, I would end it. He is forcing it on you when he knows you don't like it, which is a very bad sign. If he truly loved and appreciated you then he would have stopped when you first said no.
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dandiprat
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#4
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#4
(Original post by Purple146)
So I've been with my bf for a year and a half but this ordeal has been going on for about a year. My boyfriend told me he has a feeding kink, and I've tried to be understanding but I can't help but find it weird. I told him that him feeding me made me uncomfortable, also I don't want to gain weight as he seems to want me to. He always says he wants to 'make me chubby'and always goes on about feeding me.. and seems to only ever be sexually interested in me if his kink is involved. He knows I'm not a fan but he kinda guilts me into it, and gets stroppy if I don't do what he wants me to.... I just feel so unattractive and ugly in his eyes, but I'm happy with my weight, and tbh I have been complimented a lot on my figure so I doubt I'm actually as ugly as he makes me feel..... I'm scared I'm not satisfying him and he'll leave, but maybe that is for the best? Anyone know if there is anything I can do to fix this? I like him as a person but I just feel like I'm not what he wants
If this is a legitimate situation, please walk away from it. Subjecting yourself to a practice that you are not comfortable with and him refusing to respect your personal limits is a huge red flag in any relationship. Might feel bad splitting, but you will feel worse having to change yourself to appease him in an unhealthy way. I would say to fix it, tell him you will not engage with his fetish and if that angers him/causes him to break up with you he’s dating you for the wrong reasons. Not only that, honestly just comes across as immensely disconcerting. Any person who forces an extreme weight expectation on their partner is creepy.
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Texxers
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#5
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#5
What an odd fetish.
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the bear
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#6
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#6
you need to end this abusive relationship before you suffer permanent health damage.
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Huw M Thomas
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#7
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#7
The fact you've gone along with him means you have given approval. If you had shown disgust and revulsion then he may have been suitably embarrassed and stopped his nonsense.
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AuroraNyx
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#8
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People like that actually exist? He's no good for you, mentally or physically. Cut the negativity out.
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adamantacademic
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#9
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#9
He's disgusting, quit before you lose self-respect.
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Purple146
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#10
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#10
(Original post by Huw M Thomas)
I must say that you are the weird one for going along with the absurdity. The fact you've gone along with him means you have given approval. If you had shown disgust and revulsion then he may have been suitably embarrassed and stopped his nonsense.

First rule of holes. When you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.
See I'd agree with you but I said from the get go I didn't like it, but he just went along with it a few weeks later as if I'd said yes
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Purple146
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#11
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#11
(Original post by dandiprat)
If this is a legitimate situation, please walk away from it. Subjecting yourself to a practice that you are not comfortable with and him refusing to respect your personal limits is a huge red flag in any relationship. Might feel bad splitting, but you will feel worse having to change yourself to appease him in an unhealthy way. I would say to fix it, tell him you will not engage with his fetish and if that angers him/causes him to break up with you he’s dating you for the wrong reasons. Not only that, honestly just comes across as immensely disconcerting. Any person who forces an extreme weight expectation on their partner is creepy.
I just feel guilty saying no I guess? He makes me feel as if I'm the weird one for not complying, like I'm stuck up.... but reading what you said I agree it's a red flag, if he can't respect something as small as this who knows what other boundaries he'll ignore. Thank you for the comment
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Huw M Thomas
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#12
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#12
(Original post by Purple146)
See I'd agree with you but I said from the get go I didn't like it, but he just went along with it a few weeks later as if I'd said yes
There is a difference between "I don't like it" and an absolute refusal by reason of genuine disgust. Only you know why you went along with it the first time and I hope you learn from this.
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AuroraNyx
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#13
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#13
(Original post by Purple146)
I just feel guilty saying no I guess? He makes me feel as if I'm the weird one for not complying, like I'm stuck up.... but reading what you said I agree it's a red flag, if he can't respect something as small as this who knows what other boundaries he'll ignore. Thank you for the comment
That's classed as emotional abuse. Please get help if at all possible, I know it won't feel good, but it's important.
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Purple146
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#14
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#14
(Original post by Huw M Thomas)
There is a difference between "I don't like it" and an absolute refusal by reason of genuine disgust. Only you know why you went along with it the first time and I hope you learn from this.
But that's my point, I said no, I tried to understand but I never agreed to it
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Ensorcell
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#15
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#15
End it.
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dandiprat
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#16
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#16
(Original post by Purple146)
I just feel guilty saying no I guess? He makes me feel as if I'm the weird one for not complying, like I'm stuck up.... but reading what you said I agree it's a red flag, if he can't respect something as small as this who knows what other boundaries he'll ignore. Thank you for the comment
I believe in many scenarios that can be the case. It seems your sense of responsibility towards your own actions and his upset is surpassing the wrongness of the original situation he’s put you in. I would conclude that you’re clearly a very empathetic and obliging individual, which again can make it all too easy projecting the victimisation upon the one actually causing the harm. Guilt comes to you first.

It will be hard to be prospective when you have the desire to sustain something, but this is harmful to you and will end in tears one way or another. Just get out and look after yourself.
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Jouachen
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#17
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#17
Run away
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Huw M Thomas
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#18
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#18
(Original post by Purple146)
But that's my point, I said no, I tried to understand but I never agreed to it
According to your OP you've participated.
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Purple146
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#19
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#19
(Original post by dandiprat)
I believe in many scenarios that can be the case. It seems your sense of responsibility towards your own actions and his upset is surpassing the wrongness of the original situation he’s put you in. I would conclude that you’re clearly a very empathetic and obliging individual, which again can make it all too easy projecting the victimisation upon the one actually causing the harm. Guilt comes to you first.

It will be hard to be prospective when you have the desire to sustain something, but this is harmful to you and will end in tears one way or another. Just get out and look after yourself.
It's almost odd how spot on that is. I've always been the type of person to blame myself and think I'm the *******, which is a big flaw in a scenario like this. I'll try once more to talk about it but if it fails I'll take your advice and end it, thanks a bunch
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Purple146
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#20
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#20
(Original post by Huw M Thomas)
According to your OP you've participated.
No, he's continued to say whatever about it and bought me food etc, what he says and does is out of my control and I still either said no or avoided the scenario. When I said 'guilts me into it' I meant makes me feel as if I'm in the wrong. Poor wording on my behalf
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